“Ryla!” Sam yelled, backing up a few steps. “I have a few more trays that need to be loaded into the back of the truck and some buckets that need hosing down. Want to help me?”
“Yessssss!” Ryla grinned wickedly and ran around the side of the house.
“But you’re not going to spray me with the hose again, right? Ryla. . . .” Sam’s voice got fainter as he followed her to his doom.
Once they were out of sight, I placed my shoes on the ground and crossed my arms, waiting for an explanation from Jace.
I was not expecting what came out of his mouth.
“Max is afraid of bees and that’s why he won’t go outside.”
I played his words over in my head. “What? Max won’t go outside? Since when?”
Jace put his hands on his hips. “Apparently, he saw a video about a kid who got stung and almost died around the same time a bee landed on him in the pool a few weeks ago.”
My gaze fell to the pool. Max had been in the pool a few weeks ago with Leah and Ryla when I went to Sunday brunch. I gasped and covered my mouth. Jace was right. Ever since then, Max had avoided going outside. Now his panic attack outside the school last week made more sense. It happened as soon as we got outside. Shame filled me that I hadn’t noticed this about my own son.
“He told you this?”
“Not exactly. Ryla told me, then Max filled me in on the rest, eventually.”
Ryla knew, too? I surveyed the yard, at all the work they’d done, speechless.
“I researched bees today. The flowers that were planted in your backyard attracted a lot of bees. I took them out and brought in marigolds, mint, basil, anything with a strong smell. Sam had some spare tiki torches we put around the yard. None of it will kill bees, but a strong smell repels ’em. This way, at least the bees won’t be near the house. I have these zappers, too”—he pointed to the large metal contraptions hanging up— “to cut down on some of the mosquitos. I figured Max might be freaked out by any bug that could bite him, so that way we can cover our bases. Ryla had a blast. And I haven’t seen a bee in two hours.” Jace smiled and looked around the yard proudly. “I think Max might actually come outside now.”
I was silent as I listened to Jace’s explanation, watching him point out all the different things as he was talking. Even though I was grateful, because this might be the kindest gesture I’d ever received, shame was heavy in my chest. And defeat. I tried so hard to keep it all together. Why would Max tell Jace about his fear, and not me?
“And uh, I made this.” Jace ran over to the patio table and back, opening a little zippered pouch. Leaning in, my heart gave a little wayward thump as I took in the liquid Benadryl, hydrocortisone cream, an ice pack, and insect repellent.
“I thought Max could keep this close to him when he goes outside. The bug spray would be for anytime he goes outside and the Benadryl and ice pack are just in case he gets stung. He could use it right away. We could call it a ‘bee pack’, or something.” Jace shrugged. “I thought it might make him feel better.”
Jace bent at the knees to meet me at eye level, his worried eyes flitting between mine. “Polly?”
Emotion clogged my throat. I shook my head, not wanting to speak. Knowing if I spoke aloud, I’d cry.
He nodded. “You’re mad. I figured. I told Max I’d talk to you about it only on the condition that he’d talk to his counselor. And none of the yard was his fault. It was all my idea. I can take it all back. All I need to do is?—”
I launched forward, cutting off his words as I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding tight. Jace’s arms wound around me immediately, anchoring me, holding me up, keeping me together.
“It’s perfect,” I whispered, hanging on to him.
“Oh.” Jace breathed out more than said the word as we held tight together, his strong arms the only thing keeping me from absolutely breaking.
When I felt steadier, I gave myself one more moment before pulling back reluctantly. Jace’s hands trailed down my arms and loosely circled my wrists, like he didn’t want to let me go either. The loss of him made me feel heavy, weighed down by life and all of the stressors that came with it.
I gave Jace a small smile, picked up my shoes, and asked about my priority in that moment. “Do you know where Max is? I need to go talk to him.”
Jace glanced up. “He’s in his room.”
I was at the top of the patio stairs when I looked back, finding Jace was in the same spot, watching me go.
“Jace?”
His eyebrows raised, face hopeful.
“Thank you.”
* * *
