“On the way home I was preoccupied, thinking about all the things I wanted to do but was never allowed. Like dyeing my hair. Before I knew it, my car was in the drugstore parking lot.”
I absently fingered my hair. “I thought about all the other things I missed as I drove the rest of the way home. Dances, football games, birthday parties. Friendships.” I was suddenly hoarse, angry tears building behind my eyes.
I cleared my throat. “It’s like I’m finally feeling angry at the loss, at missing that part of life I didn’t get. Hoping that it’s not too late.”
“Too late for what?” Jace had taken the cloth off his eyes and rolled toward me, looking more awake than a moment ago, the reflection of the moon illuminating a rim of gold in his hazel eyes.
I swallowed roughly, gathering the courage to say it.
“For my own happy ending.”
The moonlight bathed our skin in white light, making Jace’s face look like it was carved out of marble. Emboldened, like we were in a bubble of safety, I cupped his cheek. His skin was warm and supple beneath my hand. Touching him and finding him real felt impossible. Like I couldn’t believe there was finally someone in this house for me again; the first time I’d felt that way since my mother was alive. Somebody that understood me. Somebody who gave without expectation.
Finally.
His intoxicating scent made me want to drink him in. I inclined my head, and he did the same; our lips were millimeters apart, my body yearning, aching to know what his lips felt like.
Powerless to the inescapable pull, our lips touched. I relished the relief of finally knowing what his lips felt like, the subtle pressure, the soft brushes. They fit together perfectly, like Jace’s lips were meant to kiss mine, and mine alone.
I leaned into him more fully, greedily, my hand gripping his cheek, his stubble rough against the palm of my hand as I held us together. His hand came to rest on my waist as our lips brushed and sucked and pressed, drinking each other in, savoring like we both knew this moment wasn’t meant to last. Moving closer I felt something wet on my arm and pulled back from Jace with a gasp, only to realize it was the cold cloth laying between us.
I swallowed a laugh as I took in Jace’s heated stare. His lips were full and red, the moonlight reflected his wide, dilated pupils . . .
Shit.
I slammed my eyes shut and rocked back. “I’m sorry! First I made you all blissed out on Benadryl and then I forced myself on you. I’m so sorr?—”
“Shhh.” Jace covered my lips with two fingers, silencing me immediately. “You weren’t taking advantage of me. I wanted to kiss you. I’ve dreamed of kissing you, of taking my time, savoring the way you taste . . .” Jace’s eyes swept down, then up my body lazily, a fire igniting everywhere his gaze lingered, “until the only kiss you remember is mine.”
Can a human body liquefy from mere words? Because those were the hottest words anyone’s ever said to me, and they were uttered by a delectable man inches away whom I wanted more than air in this moment.
I longed to lean into him again, but there was a glaze over his eyes. With a sigh, I moved off the bed and made my way to the door slowly and opened it, fighting the urge to return to him with every step.
As I turned to the pull the door shut, Jace croaked my name, as if the distance between us was just as painful for him as it was for me. Lifting my gaze, I saw he was half sitting up, watching me intently.
I took a slow breath in. There are certain decisions in your life that change the course of it irrevocably.
“I can’t go there tonight, Jace. Not when I essentially drugged you. So, sleep. I’m dropping the kids off at summer school in the morning and then I’m coming back home.”
Jace’s eyes were completely focused on me, glistening in the dark.
Right here and now, I was singularly aware that what I said next could change my life forever.
That my words could keep me locked in a cage.
My voice was barely a whisper, but I knew he could hear it.
“If you still want me tomorrow, tell me again.”
Or, they could set me free.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE
POLLY
“A real man doesn’t fuck you for your money. He fucks you because you’re gorgeous. Because you come like a rocket. Because you have eyes that show him everything you’re feeling. He fucks you because nothing has ever felt better.”
“Oh.”
