Page 48 of Pastel Kisses
We spent that night drinking. Barbecuing. Pretending for a few short hours that life hadn’t ripped our hearts straight out of our chests.
Now, I sit in Avery’s bedroom, surrounded by her things, drowning in her absence. The house is too quiet without her laughter. Every room feels hollow, like the life inside it was ripped away the night she disappeared.
I press my face into her pillow, inhaling deeply, but her scent is long gone. Still, it’s the closest I can get to her.
"Jax! We gave you a couple of hours—no more hiding out," Kamden’s authoritative voice echoes down the hall.
"In here!" I call out, voice hoarse from disuse.
Kam’s head pops around the corner, followed by Liam and Lennox. Three identical expressions—concern masked behind forced humor—stare back at me.
The way they peek into the room reminds me of when we were kids, sneaking up on Ma when we knew we were in trouble, hoping our puppy-dog eyes would soften the blow. The memory sends an unexpected laugh up my throat, surprising even me.
Liam and Lennox chuckle, their laughter blending into mine, echoing off the walls like ghosts of a better time.
Lennox and Liam plop down on either side of me, leaning back against the wall, both lost in their own thoughts.
“We’re going over to Dan’s for the evening,” Liam says after a moment. “He reminded us to water the yard and flowers.” His laugh is empty, lacking its usual warmth. “I told him we installed the new sprinkler system last weekend. Set it to run every morning.”
“Thanks, Liam,” I murmur, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
Locking up her house and walking away each time without her is a fresh wound, carving deeper and deeper into my already battered soul. One of these days, there won’t be anything left of me.
I hesitate before locking the door, pressing my palm against the wood, sending a silent message into the universe.
A firm hand lands on my shoulder, grounding me in the present. Kamden.
“Let’s go, brother,” he says, voice deep and steady. Always the anchor. Always the one keeping us from completely falling apart.
The weight of reality presses down on us. It’s been months. Too many months.
The chance of finding her—of finding her alive—is shrinking.
We all know it. Dan knows it.
But none of us will say it.
We won’t breathe life into that possibility.
Because if we do…
We’ve already lost.
Dan’s already outside at the grill when we pull up, his hands steady as he flips the steaks, but the man we met months ago—the one full of life, teasing Avery every chance he got—is a ghost of himself. A smile tugs at his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Those once bright blue eyes are dull, hollowed out with worry, grief, and exhaustion.
He closes the grill lid and makes his way over as we step out of the car, his hands automatically reaching to help unload the trunk.
“My boys! How’s today?” He slaps Kamden and Liam on the back before taking a case of beer from Lennox.
“Good,” the twins respond together, but the word lacks enthusiasm.
Lennox exhales heavily, shaking his head. “Still missing our girl.”
Dan swallows tightly, nodding as if he expected nothing less. “Thank you, boys, for taking care of her place so well. I know she’d be proud of the work you’ve done to make it a home—an amazing home—for when she returns.” His voice gruffs up at the end, his emotions threatening to choke him. But before the heaviness can settle, he clears his throat and shifts the subject. “Now, let’s get these beers cold and finish the steaks on the grill.”
Kam rubs his hands together, grinning. “You gonna let me man the grill this go-round?” He knows damn well Dan isn’t about to hand over his prized possession, but the attempt makes Dan huff a chuckle—exactly what Kam was going for. Anything to keep his mind from spiraling.
“You may have a couple of fancy restaurants, son, but they ain’t got nothin’ on this here grill.” Dan shakes his head, flipping the steaks once more, ensuring they’re cooking just right. “Now, sit down and tell me what you’ve been up to since we last saw each other.”
