Matt
“Not bad,” I tell myself, wiping the dust off of my hands as I peer over Ellie’s new back porch. I’d quickly moved the rest of her things from the old unit into this one. But I got an idea once I saw the barber’s chair and sink she uses for Pops’s hair.
I drew up some quick plans for a small back deck at the end of the unit. It’s big enough for her to do his hair on a nice day, with room left over for a chaise lounge and a bistro table and chairs. A couple of the guys were nice enough to help me construct it before returning to Harry’s construction site for the remainder of the day. Harry gave me some grief over it, but I knew deep down he thought it was a good idea. I wanted Ellie’s place to feel like a home for as long as she and Pops are here.
I hated leaving her. She seemed nervous and excited when she offered to make me dinner here. I love that they have somewhere better to stay and that she no longer has to sleep on a pull-out sofa, instead having privacy and a comfortable bed to sleep in. I wanted nothing more than to help her celebrate.
Yet when my chief called and said one of the guys had to take a leave of absence because his wife had gone into early labor, what could I do? They’d been more than accommodating when I asked to come and help Harry. And as fate had it, my brother had finally located a reliable nurse to spend overnights during the week with Mom.
Sure. I plan to return and offer him some respite. But I couldn’t continue to play hooky from work when they needed me. Even if I wanted like hell to stay with Ellie a little longer. I knew I’d been aloof the last few times we’d spoken or spent any time together. But it was purely in order to protect myself. And her. Leaving was going to be painful enough.
Peering up at the deep emerald sailcloth above me, I smile, feeling a sense of pride. I’d found a place in town that turned remnants from local sailboats into triangular sunshade cloth. I had mounted them from a pillar constructed at the edge of the decking across to the back of the mobile home. It offered a modicum of shade to an otherwise oppressive Candy Cane Key sunny day. I tried to picture Ellie sitting here with a cup of coffee and a book.
Sitting down at the bistro table I’d purchased for her, I penned a quick note wishing her and her grandpa well in their new home. Reading over my words, it felt cold and detached. Not at all how I felt about the vibrant woman who’d be sitting here in my absence. But I didn’t know any other way to handle this. She had obligations here, and mine were states away. I didn’t want to contemplate a long-distance relationship that could go on for years. What if someone who could provide for her came along, but she didn’t give them a chance because we were trying to make an unlikely relationship work?
Signing my name, I leave the note by a small potted rose bush on the table and shove my hands in my pockets.
It’s for the best, Matt. She has big dreams here. And you want no part of Candy Cane Key.
“You have everything ready to go?”
Harrison hands me a beer after I zip up my suitcase. “Yeah. It went by quicker than I expected.” I take a swig from the amber bottle, the ale doing little to change my mood. “I’m glad you were able to find someone for Mom.”
“Me too. It’s been a long time coming. But Monica comes highly recommended. It’ll be nice to let my guard down a little.”
I follow him to the kitchen and sit on a bar stool at the counter. “This place seems so much smaller than I remember when we grew up here.”
Harrison chuckles. “We’ve grown quite a bit since then.” He does a head-to-toe motion with his beer pointed in my direction. While we don’t share any DNA, we’re both over six feet and muscular. I’m a little leaner than Harry, but we’re both in good shape. “Plus, everything seems bigger when you’re young. Christmas High seems like the size of most big city primary schools now.”
I take another pull from my beer, hoping it won’t take many more to dull this ache in my chest.
“You know. You could always transfer to the Keys. Even if you didn’t move back to Chistmasville, you’d be able to commute to and from work and give it a shot with her.”
“C’mon, Harry. I love my job. And we dated one time. Once. That would be insane.” I take another sip. Still no relief. “I don’t know how you do it. I’m two years behind you, but I’m so ready to settle down.”
“Even after growing up the way we did. You’re willing to chance it?”
“I think it’sbecauseof the way we grew up. I want to be all in. Be all the things a dad should be. Teach them to fish, coach their little league team, root for them during Easter Egg hunts.”
“You’d make a great dad, Matt. But are you as committed to being a good husband as you are to being a good father?”
“Fuck yeah. I hate that Mom was all alone. Hell, she was so busy taking care of us and managing her health, she never had a chance to meet someone new.” My mouth goes dry, and I have to push down the lump growing in my throat. “I look at her now and wonder if she enjoyed her life at all.”
Harry drops his hand on my shoulder. I’m sure he feels it too. This hard-working, devoted woman gave everything to the two of us. Only for dementia to steal her final days. “I don’t think she would’ve trusted anyone, anyway,” Harry says, finishing off his bottle and reaching for another. “I’m going to miss you. It’s been nice having you here. It’s hard watching her…”
I glance over as he takes a large gulp. Watching her decline has got to have been miserable. Mom managed to make it through chemo and into remission, only for her mind to slowly spiral into an abyss.
“I better get to sleep. I have an early day tomorrow.” Given how late I’ve rolled onto the construction site all summer, I avoid looking at the smirk he’s probably wearing right now.
“Don’t be a stranger.”
“Harry, listen. I’ve been a shit brother. I promise to call you once I can look at the calendar and find a way to give you some weekends off. I really will do better by you and Mom.” I finish off my beer and head for my bedroom when I hear behind me.
“If that’s the case, there’s no reason you can’t at least consider something long-distance with your girl.”
Chapter 28
Ellie
