Page 74 of Standing In The Sun
“What?!” Ahvi raised her voice.
He glared at her - his eyes telling her to stand down… reminding her that she was half broken so she needed to shut up and listen to him.
Crossing her arms over her chest, Ahvi was ready to go. Her little visit to her Mama was done—she was already over it.
Sheena whistled. “I knew you had that shit in you.”
“What?” Ahvi scoffed, rolling her eyes.
Sheena tapped her nose. “The ability to let a real man lead.” Her eyes roamed to Lunar. “I’ll give him your number. Now, come on and let me see what you know how to do on that spades table.”
* * *
“Girl, get your bad ass son!” Butta fussed, lunging forward to snatch her lip gloss from Kamari’s little hands. She stared incredulously at the pink glittery mess now splattered across her floor, confusion knitted tightly across her brows as she inspected the empty tube. “How in the hell did he even open this? Look at this mess!”
Ahvi covered her mouth, laughter bubbling up before she could stop it. She tried to look apologetic, but Kamari’s eyes were bright with delight at his newfound discovery, and she just couldn’t find it in her heart to fuss at him. Instead, she shook her head, kneeling to scoop him up gently.
“But don’t call him bad…” Ahvi softly warned, holding Kamari against her chest, fingers lovingly tangled in his curly hair. “Lunar don’t really like that.”
Butta rolled her eyes dramatically, grabbing a towel. “Girl, it’s true though. Kamari little ass stay getting into stuff. It’s like mess follows him everywhere he goes.”
Ahvi let out a gentle sigh, lowering herself to the floor with Kamari. She felt the weight of Butta’s words more than she wanted to admit, but instead of irritation, a wave of tenderness flooded her chest. She knew Kamari wasn’t bad, just curious. He was exploring his world the way babies should, with wide-eyed innocence and messy fingers that reached for everything within reach.
“He’s just exploring…” Ahvi murmured, brushing her thumb softly over his cheek.
The warm, carefree smile on his face made something in her chest squeeze tightly, a bittersweet reminder of how fast he was growing up…how fleeting these moments were. It made her fiercely protective, wanting to shield him from any harshness or judgment, even when it came from someone she loved as deeply as her sister.
She glanced up, giving Ahvi a pointed look. “Well, take his little exploring ass home so he can get into shit over there.”
Home.
Ahvi’s breath caught, her laughter fading softly into silence.
The word lingered heavy and unfamiliar on her tongue, its shape strange, yet comforting. She repeated it silently to herself, tasting its edges, its hidden meanings. Home had always been a moving target for Ahvi—something she’d spent years chasing, longing for stability she could never quite grasp. Home had been a battle she fought alone since Ish’s passing, every step forward costing blood, sweat, and too many tears to count.
But now, when she thought of home, she saw Lunar’s eyes looking at her from across a dinner table. She felt his warmth wrapped around her in the mornings, his laughter echoing down the hallway. Home wasn’t just the immaculate house with its high ceilings, soft linens, and marble counters. It was how she’d started knowing exactly which drawer he kept the spoons in, the way she naturally reached for his favorite shot glass, the fact she knew how many steps it took from Kamari’s fake room that he wouldn’t sleep in to theirs late at night.
Home was becominghim—becomingthem.
But there was still an ache, a quiet tugging at the edges of her heart.
Ahvi missed the fierce independence of having her own space. Missed knowing that everything within her four walls belonged solely to her. It had been small, cluttered, chaotic, but it had been hers. She missed waking up in the middle of the night and knowing exactly who she was without anyone else’s reflection.
That old version of herself had scars, but those scars were hard-earned, proof that she’d survived alone.
It scared her, how quickly she’d grown comfortable letting someone else take the reigns, letting Lunar shoulder burdens she’d grown used to carrying alone. Sometimes she wondered if she’d lost a piece of herself along the way, or if this was just the calm before life reminded her not to trust it.
Kamari giggled again, breaking her thoughts. Ahvi gently squeezed him tighter, placing a kiss against his forehead. In the quiet moments like this one, she felt so grateful. grateful that Kamari got to grow up in a home where love wasn’t a question, where safety wasn’t something she had to fight for every day.
She glanced up, noticing Butta studying her carefully, concern creasing her usually playful features.
“You good, Ahvi?” Butta asked softly. “You got real quiet all of a sudden.”
Ahvi swallowed, meeting Butta’s gaze before looking back down at Kamari yanking at his chain.
“I’m okay,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Just thinking… about how weird it feels calling Lunar’s place home.”
Butta paused, sitting back on her heels, her eyes warm with understanding. “Why it feel weird?”
