Page 41 of Standing In The Sun
That same little boy was now a grown man, sitting on the floor with a baby that wasn’t his by blood but was his in every other way that mattered.
“Son,” Mav called out to gain Lunar’s attention. He was so caught up in Mari that he didn’t hear the alarm when the door opened and closed.
“What’s up, Pops?” Lunar looked up, laughing when Kamari yanked his face back down like he wasn’t with having to share his Lunar with anyone.
Mav laughed. “He bad as hell…come ride with me. Bring Kamari clingy ass too.”
The drive to Sapphire City was quiet. Maverick played his usual mix of old-school R&B, and Lunar tapped a slow rhythm against the car door while Kamari was knocked out in his car seat. Listening to old songs always pulled something creative out of him. Lyrics flooded his mind as he mumbled a rhythm.
Mav smiled big, loving when he got to witness Lunar’s genius.
Lunar could feel something happening in the air. Something he couldn’t put his finger on and every so often his anxious eyes cut to Mav—his Pops. The man who loved him, raised him, and taught him how to be a man. His heart swelled thinking about the man before him and his eyes misted but he didn’t let any tears fall.
Two hours later, they stood in front of Big Lunar’s grave, the cool breeze carrying the scent of pine and damp earth. It was peaceful there— something Lunar hadn’t felt in a long time. It had been a while since he’d been to his dad’s grave. Probably because every time he stepped foot there, he wanted to dig Lunar up and beg God to perform a miracle.
“Come, on,” Mav directed, getting out the car.
Lunar followed suit leaving Kamari sleeping peacefully since Mav left the car running and the gravesite was just a few feet away.
Silence engulfed them as that damn sun peeked through the clouds, taunting Lunar again.
“I used to come here when I just wanted to talk,” Mav said, staring down at the headstone, “…and be silent in my chaotic world. Like you, I never got to meet your dad, but in loving you, I learned to love him too.”
Lunar’s eyes lingered on the etched face of his father, his seventeen-year-old reflection frozen in stone. He tried to remember if he looked like this at seventeen—if they had the same eyes, the same sharp jawline. Those panty dropping dimples were there. It was the one thing Tiny loved so much about looking at her first son. Lunar liked to believe they transported her to a time when her first love made it.
Lunar didn’t say anything, just stared at the earth beneath his feet.
“You know you’re my son, right?” Mav’s voice was steady, but there was weight behind his words. A need to remind Lunar.
Lunar turned, offering a small smile. “Yea, Pops.” He exhaled deeply. “I love you so much, and I hope me wanting pieces of my dad didn’t make you feel less than. I tell anyone who asks I am who I am because of you.”
Mav nodded, gripping his shoulder. “You’re him too.”
“I’m both of y’all. I’m east and west.” Lunar declared the name of his next album coming to him like somejinkyshit from Scooby Doo.
The sun peeked again, making Lunar squint his eyes when he looked up at the sky. Big Lunar had to be up there fighting with God, knowing Lunar wasn’t a fan of the joy the sun brought. Lately it felt like the sun was laughing at him, searing into his skin with laughter because before Kamari, nothing had felt all that good enough to be happy about, even on the sunny days. He realized he had been down for a while now.
“Damn right.” Mav pulled him into a firm hug, clapping him on the back before stepping back with a sigh. “I don’t know what you and his mama gon’ decide when she gets out, but I hope she don’t take Kamari from you.” He looked at Lunar, his expression thoughtful. “Your smile been brighter since you got him. You seem to have rediscovered yourself and from what I hear you’re creating your best shit musically…I don’t want you to go back to that dark place again, son.”
Lunar swallowed, staring at Kamari through the window. He was waking up in the back seat. Lunar could see him moving around to see where they were.
He had never been a man of much faith. Only time they went to church was when Stephanie dragged all her grandkids to church on holidays. Still at that moment, he prayed Ahvi would see what Maverick did. Because if he lost Kamari, he wasn’t sure he could survive that.
ten
Ahvi nibbled on her nails,her eyes staring off into the future trying to figure out what was next for her. She was beyond nervous, but she was also excited, ready to lay eyes on her baby. But then what? What would be her next steps?
The judge gave her a hefty sixty days to find employment, which wouldn’t be an issue if she wasn’t so stubborn. She had no desire to clock in for somebody else, no interest in settling for a check that barely covered the basics. She wanted more. She wanted to cook her ass off and make people feel something with her food. Maybe one day someone would discover her. Maybe she’d end up on one of those bullshit cooking shows where she wins it all and shows the world how a Black girl from the hood was really magical.
That was the dream, but right now reality had her locked up in a place that moved at a pace slower than death.
“That’s the look of a woman tryna figure out how to move a mountain with her bare hands.” Ahvi blinked, being pulled from her thoughts by the familiar rasp of her cellmate – Miss Deb’s voice.
Miss Deb had been in and out of the system so long that she talked about it like it was just a part of life. She was the type of woman who had seen everything, done everything, and had no problem schooling the young girls who thought they knew something.
Ahvi smirked slightly, glancing over at her. “What else I’m supposed to do? Sit here and twiddle my thumbs?”
Miss Deb chuckled, leaning back on her cot. “Naw baby, but you ever heard the sayin’, ‘When you in the dark, you don’t gotta see the whole staircase, just the next step’?”
