Page 25 of Standing In The Sun
Tiny slapped a hand over her mouth as she wailed like she’d been holding it in for decades— realizing she actually had been holding it in for decades. Kamari jumped out of sleep at the sound and started bawling harder, along with Tiny. Lunar sat up and comforted them as his own tears dripped down his face, thinking of the father he never got the chance to know.
Tiny’s body shook violently with rage because they had taken him from her, crashed her whole world and denied her the life they dreamed of. She’d never truly had time to grieve a life without him cause she had a family to raise.
“My Lunar.” She rubbed Little Lunar’s head like she used to do to Big Lunar when he came home, tired from the world. Tiny’s tears poured down her face as she cried. Each muffled scream broke Little Lunar’s soul a little more.
He always knew his mama loved his daddy, but all the love he’d ever seen in Tiny’s eyes was for Mav. He appreciated his mama being able to be loved on properly, but somehow seeing her heart break for Big Lunar was healing. It came with more understanding as to why she deserved another soulmate in a world that had been cruel to the first one. The way Lunar saw it, it was the least God could do for his mama.
“I need to call Luna,” Tiny whispered, as if the thought just popped into her head. She knew Lunar’s twin would want to witness the videos of their brother. Luna missed him just as much as Tiny did, because she was born while he was still alive and thought she’d die with him.
Lunar shook his head, resting his hand on Tiny’s to stop her.
Lunar had spent his whole life filling in the blanks. His father was a legend, a name spoken with reverence, but never a voice he could remember. To Little Lunar, he only existed in stories. Tales of a seventeen-year-old boy forced into manhood too soon. A boy who should have been dreaming but instead was sacrificing, providing, becoming everything to everyone except himself. A boy who never got the chance to become a man.
His throat burned, and his chest felt too tight to hold all the pain.
“Mama—” his voice broke before he could stop it.
He wasn’t the type to beg, not for anything, but this? This was different.
“Ma… just wait. Let me hear my daddy,” he groaned, his voice raw, his body trembling with something deeper than grief, something closer to longing. “I need to hear what my daddy has to say.”
Tiny didn’t hesitate. She pulled him in, crushing him against her like she could mold all his broken pieces back together. Kamari was caught between them, but she didn’t care, neither did Lunar.
The tears came hot and heavy, trickling tracks down his face like rain washing over a cracked pavement. He couldn’t stop…didn’t want to neither.
He needed the reprieve, the moment to just sit in what had been in his heart for years. Lunar just needed to release it with the one person, who like him, never really got the chance to grieve Big Lunar properly.
This was what black men weren’t given enough of -space…grace. Everyone deserved a moment to simplyfeel, to cry without shame, to mourn without always being told to toughen up.
It was both devastating and beautiful, the way his sobs filled the room. For the first time, Lunar didn’t have to be the man holding everything together, pretending to be okay. He could simply be the son who had been searching for pieces of his father, his whole life.
Kamari started to cry which pulled Tiny’s eyes to him. “Where this baby come from and is he yours?” she asked as she wiped her face. Her makeup was ruined and she didn’t give a damn.
Lunar gave her a lopsided grin as he explained everything that happened that day. It had been a hell of a day.
* * *
Tiny called in every favor in her book just to track down Ahvi’s mama. She knew everybody, but nobody seemed to know Sheena—that was the first red flag. But she finally found her. Now they were on their way to her house when they should’ve been still curled up in the living room going through big Lunar’s old phone.
Lunar held Kamari close to his chest, his heartbeat forming a soothing rhythm with the child’s steady breathing as they stood in front of a peeling door that had seen better days. The one one story house sat up on cinder blocks and had wooden steps that creaked when they stepped up. Tiny gave him a look, somewhere between concern and caution, before knocking hard.
After a long pause, the door swung open, revealing a woman who wore exhaustion on her face like makeup she’d forgotten to wash off. She had Ahvi’s eyes—rich brown pools with storms behind them.
“Can I help you?” Sheena asked, voice tight and suspicious.
Tiny cleared her throat, smoothing the tone she often used for difficult clients. “Sheena, right? I’m Tiny, and this is my son Lunar. We’re here because of your daughter, Ahvi.”
Sheena looked them both over, eyes narrowing. She glanced at her grandson. “Ahvi done got herself into something again?”
“She got arrested,” Lunar said softly, but firmly. He adjusted Kamari on his hip, shielding him slightly as if Sheena’s reaction might reach out and hurt the boy. “We brought your grandson to you.”
“Hey, Mari.” Sheena’s eyes flicked to Kamari, then quickly away, discomfort obvious in her shifting feet. “Look, I ain’t in a position to take no baby right now.” She didn’t even feel a way when her grandson didn’t reach out for her, but that wasn’t odd since Kamari was funny acting with some people while he preferred others. It had always been a running joke Ish used to tell about his grandson knowing good people and in Ish’s eyes Sheena wasn’t good people.
Tiny’s eyebrow shot up, disbelief resonating in her voice. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Sheena snapped back, her tired expression flaring with annoyance. “I’m barely keeping these lights on with the three kids I got, I don’t have the money, space, or time for another mouth.”
The words struck Tiny hard, frustration bubbling immediately to her lips. “This ain’t a stray cat we found on the street. This is your grandchild!”
