Page 10 of Standing In The Sun
“Exactly!” Ahvi rolled her neck. “Now, give me some money ’cause I don’t have it.”
Dro coddled Kamari into his chest. “What’s up, lil’ man?”
Kamari blew spit bubbles looking just like his mama, making them both pause to smile at their baby. He was the cutest baby they’d laid eyes on—or maybe their opinion was biased.
“You ain’t got it? Or you ain’t got enough for yourself this weekend to spare some for your son?” Ahvi wasn’t letting up. She’d used up some of her barely there gas just to ride to the hood to press Dro for the money he told her he would give. All of that coupled together, pissed her off.
He placed wild kisses on Kamari’s chubby cheeks making him squeal. “Ain’t you been selling plates?”
“No because I ain’t had no food to sell. Tha last of my stamps was used for food for me to eat, nigga. But that’s irrelevant because you ain’t gave me nothing for him in a long time and I need you to start stepping up, Andrew.”
“She calling me by my government, son…she serious,” he continued to play with Kamari like smoke wasn’t coming from Ahvi ears.
“Let me get something until tomorrow.” Bean, a local drug addict walked up like she belonged.
Ahvi stood in front of Bean. “Don’t you see us talking? Move around, Bean.”
“Girl, don’t get mad at me ‘cause you let a nigga run up in you that was all dick and no money,” Bean’s frail body shook, antsy.
“Girl, fuck you!”
Dro chuckled. “Aye, chill out… Bean, you got some pampers at your house?”
“Why would I if I ain’t got no kids, nigga?” Bean shifted her weight from leg to leg.
“Don’t your daughter got all them kids over there? Let me get a pack of pampers and I’ll give you a lil’ something.”
“Boy, twenty dollars’ worth,” Bean suggested, speed walking to her house to steal from her daughter who was also barely making it.
“You really ain’t shit, Dro.” Ahvi rolled her eyes as she reached out for her son who only smiled bigger when he laid eyes on his mama.
Bean came back with a small pack of diapers. Surprisingly they were the correct size. Ahvi snatched them from Dro before grabbing her son, buckling him up and pulling off so the wind could cool the inside of her car since her air conditioner was broken.
She felt bad knowing she took something from another woman who probably needed it just as bad as she did, but that was her reality. Whenever she couldn’t come up with the money, she’d boost it from the store with no shame. It was times like this when she missed her daddy the most.
* * *
Pulling up to her house, she sighed. The small two bedroom home didn’t feel like home anymore and the red eviction sign on the door was confirmation that it wasn’t going to be her home for much longer anyway.
Ahvi could finally rest her nerves about one thing at least, knowing her son would have diapers to last him awhile. Lord knew she couldn’t process cleaning out the house, knowing her baby wasn’t good. Kamari was her top priority. She didn’t even roll the windows up before she got out the car knowing it was better to let natural air flow through for the next time she needed to get back in it. With no a/c, it was better to not walk into a hot box with no way to cool it down. Their neighborhood wasn’t the safest but no one wanted to steal her old ass Nissan Altima.
She grabbed the diapers before hoisting her baby on her hip.
With each step she took, her feet felt heavier. Her daddy had been kinda old, so she knew the day would come when he was no longer waiting at the door to nag her about her decision to have a baby and forego culinary school. But her heart hadn’t caught up to her brain yet. A few tears rolled down her face. Ish, her daddy was the best thing in her life besides her son. Ahvi didn’t know how she would navigate life without him. He had always been her compass—guiding her to the next phase in her life. Now, she was all alone.
Her mama, Sheena wasn’t reliable since she was still popping out babies herself despite having a house full of kids already. Ahvi was her oldest daughter but her second child out of five. Let Sheena tell it, she should’ve had more kids by Ish since he seemed to be the only baby daddy worth a damn. So much so, that Sheena sent her to live with him not long after she turned five.
At the time, Ahvi didn’t understand but now, she realized it was the best thing that could’ve happened to her.
Ahvi sighed at the red letter on her door before unlocking it and pushing it open. As she stepped over the threshold, she immediately became overwhelmed with having to go through all her daddy’s junk, packing up whatever she wanted to keep.
After she placed Kamari into his playpen, she sat on the floor to sort through one of the many boxes she’d found in Ish’s closet. One thing she realized was her daddy was a hoarder. Snickering to herself, she pulled out different knick knacks before she found an old smart phone. Like a dummy, she tried to power it on, knowing damn well any juice it had, probably been gone since the phone looked to be at least twenty years old.
“I know daddy gotta have an old charger around here somewhere,” she said out loud, her eyes doing a sweep of the junk spread over the floor.
A rhythmic knock at the front door made her heart fly from her chest, again. Kamari squealed at the same time as if he found some humor in his mama’s disheveled state.
“Girl, open the door!” Butta, her little sister fussed from the other side of the door. “It’s hot as hell out here,” she added before knocking again, knowing it was going to annoy her big sister.
