There’s a doubt in the back of my mind. I might not have wanted a relationship, but I know how they work. I’ve seen it with my dad and stepmom. And even before my mother left, I saw it with her and Dad too. Relationships don’t work well when one person is away.
“You don’t want me there?” The air goes out of me, and I sit on the bed.
“Of course, I do.”
“Then why are you telling me to wait a few days when I’m ready now?”
Relax, Victoria. You are not this man’s wife.
“I just want to meet with the doctors first. When you get here, I want to give you all the attention you need.”
Something tells me that’s not the actual truth, but then I put myself in his shoes. He lost a championship and got hurt all in the same night. It’s not wrong for him to need space to clear his head but knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“I don’t need attention. I’m not a child, but I understand if that’s how you feel you need to deal with this.”
This is what I’ve been trying to avoid. This feeling right here. The feeling of rejection and abandonment. One time was enough, and I’ve done everything in my life to not go through that again. I steel my spine, but I avoid his gaze for fear he’ll be able to read my thoughts and find my weakness.
“Thank you, Queen. You are always my queen, my liege. I’ll miss you.”
He wouldn’t have to miss me if we go together. I hate to admit this to myself, but I wanted to go with him to his appointments and ask my own questions. That’s what the evil one does with Dad.
“Me too,” I tell him. “Let me talk to Evan and Mary Leigh. I want to say goodbye.”
* * *
“It’s been five days,”I tell Tara the instant I sit down at the restaurant we’re meeting for lunch. “He’s been so distant, and it’s like pulling teeth to get him to tell me anything. His doctors recommend minimally invasive surgery, followed by intense physical therapy. And he didn’t tell me any of that. His mother did.” I break off a piece of bread and spread butter on top.
“But you guys are still talking every day?” she asks.
“Yeah, but the calls are getting shorter and shorter.”
“It’s only been a week since they lost. Give him time and space.” I nod at her, but the feeling of doom that I’ve had since he left for Alabama without me won’t go away. We talked about celebrating the Fourth of July together, but now that it’s only two weeks away, I don’t know. I don’t see it being very celebratory if things continue like this.
We’re supposed to spend July and August traveling back and forth from Atlanta to Alabama, maybe take a little vacation to Mexico at an exclusive, family friendly resort I found, but I have a sick feeling that’s not going to happen.
The fact that I’ve put myself in this vulnerable position starts to eat at me, but I remind myself that I love this man, and I’ll give him the space he needs to work through his issues.
But aren’t you supposed to work on it together? He’s only shut you out. He begged you to be with him, and now he’s gone and you’re wringing your hands like a worried mother hen.
I change the subject from me and Colt to Tara and Ethan, who are planning a trip to Hong Kong and Bangkok in three weeks. It seems like all the Taylors except me will be out of the country for a while. Dad and the evil one are going to London for their anniversary, and Alan will be taking a trip to Istanbul with a few of his friends. We’ll all celebrate Labor Day together as a family at our vacation home in The Outer Banks in North Carolina, and I was looking forward to having Colt, Evan, and Mary Leigh join us.
Tara heads back to work, and I return to my empty apartment. We’ve spent more time at Colt’s place, but I keep seeing him everywhere. Those first few times we were together were here, and it’s like his ghost is lurking around my apartment. The only good thing that’s come from the separation is the attention I’ve given to my book. I’ve gotten a complete first draft. I can add the little details during the many rounds of edits that are still to come.
Five days turn into seven, which turn into ten. Our calls have dwindled to about once per day, and each time, I’m given a different reason as to why I don’t need to come yet. With his surgery scheduled in five days, he wants me to wait until it’s done.
I close my laptop with a heavy sigh when my phone starts to vibrate, and assuming it’s Colt, I pick it up without looking.
“Champion,” I say. There’s a pause, and I pull the phone away from my ear. It’s not Colt. Colt has an Alabama phone number, and this is a New York area code.
“I go by Gerald. Doctor Prescott is good too. I’ll let you call me doc since you’re so cute.” When I stay quiet, he says, “I’m calling to see if you want to have lunch with me tomorrow.”
I close my eyes and rub the bridge of my nose, not having the bandwidth to deal with this bullshit right now. “Jerry, I’m in a relationship,” is all I say.
“Oh, right. Well, why are you in New York when Chastain is living it up in Alabama.” I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Why is he calling me about this?
“I’d hardly say he was living it up.” He’s getting treatment and taking care of a five-year-old, one I miss desperately, but I don’t tell Jerry any of that
“Oh, really? I see you still have an aversion to social media. How can you be so smart and so clueless all at the same time, Vick? Call me when you’re ready to talk. I know you. Chastain is not the type of man you will be with long term. I still love you, and I’ll be here when you’re ready.” He ends the call, and I toss the phone down, wondering what the hell he’s talking about.
