“Please, Queen, don’t say you’ll give me another chance only because you’re pregnant. I want you to come back because you want me. Because you love me.”
“I do love you, and I do want you. If there was no baby, I would still take you back.” I can feel him exhale in relief next to me. “But now I don’t trust you. Not with my heart. Remember in the beginning you told me you never had what we had? I didn’t either because I never allowed myself to open up enough to have that. I did with you.”
I can see him thinking about the weight of my words by the moonlight seeping through the blinds.
“And I let you down,” he says, and I nod.
“And I know you’re sorry,” I say quickly. “I don’t need you to apologize again. I believe you when you say you’re sorry. I believe you were in a bad place, but I wanted to be there with you. Truth is, I love what we had, and I miss it.”
“Will you give me a chance to earn back your trust?” He grabs both my hands and brings them to his cheeks. “Please.”
I nod and he inches closer. Before he can kiss me, I say, “But I don’t want a relationship in the public eye. If we’re going to try again, I want it to stay between us. At least for a while. I have this pregnancy to deal with, and I don’t need anyone else breathing down our necks. I’ll tell my family in my own time.”
“Okay, but I can’t control the media. I can’t control pictures being taken of us, but everything else, we’ll do it your way. Thank goodness for Wakowski and his scandal.”
Two days after the pictures of me came out, three pregnant women went public claiming Wakowski is the father of their baby. Everyone forgot about me and focused on him.
Colt caresses my cheek, moves closer, and says, “Just promise me you’ll give this a real chance.”
For the first time in weeks, I smile. The smile turns into a low chuckle.
“Remember what I told you. Vickie does what Vickie wants. If I wasn’t going to give you a real chance, I wouldn’t be here. We also need to be sensitive to Evan’s feelings.”
He nods and closes the sliver of space between us. “We’ll go at your pace. Whatever pace you want, as long as it leads you here permanently, and Evan will be thrilled to have a little brother or sister.” He caresses my cheek. “I’m sorry for chasin’ you away.” He leans so close, our lips almost touch. “And I’m sorry for the scene I made when I found out. I was so afraid of losin’ you.” He caresses my stomach. “Please, forgive me for that too.”
“I forgive you, but don’t ever do that again. You have to trust me too. I spent that entire night thinking of ways to tell you.”
He leans in and gives me a tender kiss, and I realize how much I’ve missed being with him this way. “I don’t understand how you can want to kiss me after seeing me at my worst these past few days.”
“Easy, Queen Vee. That’s because I love you.”
FIFTY-EIGHT
“So, you’re not back together?”Tara asks.
It’s been two weeks since I was discharged from the hospital. I’m still nauseous and throw up at least once a day, but the medication helps and I’m able to function. I’m even working again at the school. One of the other English teachers is going through cancer treatment, and I was asked to step in. Colt was concerned, but the doctor had no objections, and I was bored out of my mind.
“But you’re living with him,” Alan reminds me. He’s been coming to New York every weekend it seems. He says as long as he doesn’t need to be in a classroom, he can work from anywhere.
“I’m not living with him. I spent the night at my place just last night?” I don’t tell them that Colt came home with me. Evan stayed home with Mary Leigh and we had a night to ourselves. “Okay, we’re trying, but not labeling anything right now. I’ve agreed to give him another chance, but we’re keeping it private. This stays here.”
It’s hard to be with someone who is famous. I love my privacy and being with Colt kind of takes that away from me, but for the past two weeks, there haven’t been any pictures of us, mainly because we’ve been either at his place or mine.
“Dad’s gonna be thrilled. He asked me last night if he had to stop liking Colt forever,” Alan says. “He said he didn’t want to but would pick you if he had to.” I pretend to be offended, but part of me is happy that my father likes Colt so much.
“And what about you guys?” I look at my siblings and best friends. I don’t need them to like Colt, but I want them to. I don’t want a relationship to come between us.
“Relationships are work, and he was lost when you were gone and frantic when you were in the hospital. I believe he loves you, so if you’re willing to forgive him, so can I,” Tara says.
“And you?” I ask my twin.
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Otherwise, I’m gonna kick his ass.”
I look at Tara and we both smirk. “Boy, please. You know you can’t fight,” I remind him. I reach over and take their hands. “Thank you,” I say to them.
Tara’s housekeeper comes and clears the plates away, and I check my watch and sigh. “I really don’t want to do this, but I’m working on being more forgiving. It’s supposed to help me heal,” I say with an eye roll.
It’s our first session of therapy with our mother. She had her doctor call me, and she strongly suggested we all come for a group session. I agreed. I could have lost my mother. Despite everything, I love her and I want no regrets.
