Page 30 of A Cowboy's Convenient Marriage
Could she pray that she would do whatever God wanted her to do? That her life was His? She had thought it was, but as soon as it got upended, and she thought she might have to give up what had become familiar things she loved, all of a sudden she had doubts. Interesting that God could use such a simple thing to show her how much room for growth she actually had. And yet the people who knew her well would say that she was very spiritual.
I’m sorry I haven’t been trusting You, Lord. I’m sorry I took pride in what I felt was my spirituality, but it was obviously just my comfort in being with familiar things and people. I’m sorry that I don’t rush forward with both hands wide open, wanting You to use me however You can. That’s what I want. Help me to be more like You, and like Jesus, who said ‘not my will, but thine,’ even as he was going to the cross.
Maybe this new chapter in her life was just a test to see whether she was willing to give everything to God and live her life for Him, like she always said.
The idea that God was leading her comforted her and set her fears to rest. She pulled the covers down and slid her feet under them, lying down and laying her head on her pillow. It was possible that she could be married this time tomorrow. The idea sent another shock of anxiety through her, while she reminded herself that it was just the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in her life, one that God was guiding and one that she didn’t need to be afraid of. Before long, she had drifted off to sleep, content to allow things to happen the way they would and to trust God to take care of her.
Chapter 12
“This is the pasturewhere we have the fall herd. It’s my favorite one right now, because wherever the babies are is the one I like to stand and watch the most.”
Cash smiled at Ada. She was so mature, sophisticated, self-assured, yet she smiled like a teenager when she was talking about the baby calves.
They were cute, he had to admit. But he obviously didn’t get excited about them the way she did. It was interesting to find something that she loved.
He wondered if she loved human babies as much as she seemed to love bovine babies.
Babies weren’t something they’d talked about, and he was kind of surprised at himself for thinking about it. But he did want children.
“So are calves as exciting to you as human babies?” he asked, trying to sound casual. They had met that morning, and she had taken him immediately on a tour of the farm. She hadn’t mentioned what she had decided or even if she had made a decision.
He still had two days, so she had time. He had spoken with the pastor in town, and Ezra had as well apparently, because the pastor agreed to marry them, even though he said he usually liked to do marriage counseling before he agreed. But he’d said that Ezra had said there were extenuating circumstances and that he thought that Ada and Cash would be willing to go for marriage counseling after the wedding.
“I love babies of any stripe,” Ada said, her eyes glowing, her cheeks pink. She looked like she belonged in the outdoors, on the farm, or maybe that’s just the way she looked wherever she went. She just had a peaceful, happy glow about her. The kind of glow Christians who were totally content in the Lord often had.
He wondered if he had that glow. If people could look at him and tell that he loved Jesus. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that question; he wasn’t sure the answer was yes.
“Oh, that doesn’t look good,” she said, looking off in the distance where he saw a cow lying down on its side. He wasn’t sure what was different about that cow than about any of the other ones that seemed to be enjoying the sunshine, but he could take her word for it.
“If you don’t mind, we better go check on it.” She turned to him, her brows raised.
He nodded, not sure what that entailed.
“He’s not that far from the fence, so I think I’ll just climb over and hurry out. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. His mom...might not like us getting too close to her baby, and I might end up making a run for the fence.”
“Sounds like I’d better come, then,” he said. Although he didn’t know what he was going to do to protect her from the baby’s mom.
