Grabbing a hold of her arm, I continue to walk with her through the forum and try and forget the fact that Matteo is watching my every move, ready to make sure I get the fucking job done. I feel her look up at me from my side as I attempt one final time to hold onto my power, my control, as I deny myself what I fucking want. Which is to continue to stare back at her like she is every damn thing I have ever waited for, ever longed for, and fuck if the idea doesn’t scare me.
“How do you know so much?” She asks as we continue on our way.
I shrug and suddenly do something I have never done before. I fucking let her in, when I never, and I mean never, let anyone in. “Growing up on the streets, there wasn’t many places I could go to get a good night’s sleep, or just fucking forget.” I shake my head not wanting to dive into myself any further. “Here,” I say, as I release her arm and watch as she takes a few steps in front of me. “I was safe. I could roam, and not have to worry. At least for a little while.”
I watch as she walks towards one of the statues, before I reluctantly look to the right, and then the left making sure we are alone.
“That had to have been hard,” I hear her say as I slowly take a step, quietly coming up behind her. “I only lost my parents a year ago. I couldn’t imagine not having anyone, ever,” she whispers, as my hand pulls the cloth from my pocket and I hold it tight in my fist before soaking it with the chloroform in my flask.
“It wasn’t so bad,” I say, and watch as she recognizes my nearness, but never turns my way. “Made me stronger. Made me rely on one thing only, myself.” I hiss out, as I put the flask back in my pocket and wrap both hands around the cloth, twisting it in knots the way my fucking stomach is churning having to do this to her right now.
“I don’t think I could have survived,” she says, as I take the final step to her. “If the streets didn’t kill me, something else would have.”
Taking the fucking moment when it perfectly presents itself, and not hesitating a second more, my hands raise quickly as I wrap the cloth around her mouth and fight off her hands that rise and begin to claw at me, desperately needing me to release her. My left hand lowers as I hold her still in my arms and begin to feel her body go limp. “You’ll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only thing you have left.”
She whimpers in my arms, and fuck if I don’t go back on a cardinal rule and stupidly look her in the eyes. Sickened with myself for having to follow through, and silently promising myself I will make her understand, someway and somehow, I watch as her eyes shudder closed and her body falls completely void of any life in my arms.
“I’m sorry,Amore,” I whisper, as I tuck the cloth back in my pocket and lift her in my arms. I begin to walk out of the forum and catch Matteo’s eye before nodding for him to follow.
Looking down at her lifeless frame in my arms, my heart is twisted for the first fucking time and I curse myself for the way having to do the fucking job this time has made me feel.
Like a fucking bastard. Like the low life scum the rest of the world makes us out to be. Out for my own damn good and stepping on anyone that gets in my damn way.
Every time before now I felt esteemed, higher than life itself, helping to rid the world of trash and not caring who the fuck Luigi made me take out next. But now, for the first time ever, I find myself questioning his authority. Questioning every fucking thing I ever thought was true about the family. And for the first time, I feel my hardened heart soften, needing to make this right. Needing to make her understand. And needing to make her mine. No matter what it fucking costs.
Chapter 5
Leonardo
Staring at her as she sleeps, my mind wanders as I take in her silhouette in the dark room. Like the damn queen my sorry ass doesn’t deserve, I watch as she stirs in the bed and want only one thing. To turn back the damn hands of time. So I could start over. So I could find her under any other circumstance than the current fucking one we are in.
Getting her here was only half the battle after I learned a sliver of the truth last night, one that come several hours after some heavy digging. Silencing Matteo and holding back on actually putting a bullet in his head when I finally knocked his ass unconscious, was the other part of the struggle. Now, I am adrift at sea with two fucking hostages. The only silver lining, there is no way in hell either one of them would jump overboard before we reach Sicily.
She rolls to her side and my heart hammers out of my chest. Once she wakes completely, I know the fucking war that will follow. And to be honest, I am not sure I am ready to face it yet.
The yacht sways, giving her the last little nudge into the real world, and I watch as she bolts upright in bed. Even in the darkness I can see her heavy breathing right before she realizes where she is and remembers what happened. My heart breaks as her hands come up to her face and she begins to cry. And hell if that doesn’t just shoot the last fucking arrow through my dark heart making me curse the day I was ever born.
She looks to the opposite side of the room before frantically looking my way. When she does, she catches my shadow in the darkness, jumps off the bed and stumbles backward against the wall behind her.
I stand, slowly, and take a few steps towards her cautiously. She looks to the dresser at her left and grabs an object, something I can’t quite make out in the dark room, intent on doing me harm if I come near. And who could fucking blame her? I watch as her hands shake, her lip quivers, and it takes everything inside me to not drop to my knees at her feet and beg for forgiveness.
“I won’t hurt you,” I whisper.
Her sinister laugh rings through the room before she jolts her hand forward with the object in it when I attempt to take another step. “Why would l fucking believe you! What makes me think you won’t try and finish me off?”
Cautiously, I step towards her and hold my hands up in surrender when she jolts forward one more time with the object. “I only want to help you,” I say, my mouth being run by my fucking heart when what I should be doing is giving her the least amount of information possible until I can figure out all the details myself.
Her stance stays hardened, but there is a glimmer of something in her eye, so I continue. “I found your notebook.” At that, her eyes light up and she looks at me as recognition flashes in them. “We may understand each other more than you, or even I, could ever even think.” Her eyes dart from me to the object in her hands as I take a step closer to her. “You have something I want,” I whisper calmly, as I take another step, reach out, and slowly lower the object she is holding. I am honestly surprised she let me and find myself letting out a deep breath before her eyes meet my stare. “And I have something you want.”
“I won’t fuck you to get my freedom,” she yells, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes me.
“Oh Mia, you will too fuck me. But not before we both use each other a different way first,mi Amore. And not before your body, your soul, is begging for me to.” Her head begins to shake no, but I grab her jaw and hold her still as I stare in her eyes. Taking one last step closer, she backs up making her body flush against the wall behind her with no escape. Breathing her in, my body’s senses are on overload as it craves to act out every damn thing I have been dreaming about doing with her since I first laid eyes on her sexy as hell body in the hotel bar. But I can’t.
Not yet. Not until she trusts me again. And from the fear radiating off her body it is evident we are far from that.
She trembles under my touch and I give her a moment before I say, “You tell me what you know, and I’ll tell you where your father is.”
Her eyes widen as her brain tries to play catch up and she realizes what I just said. “My… my father?” She questions.
