Page 50 of Why Not Forever?
How did I not know Tanner doesn’t want kids? He comes from such a large family, I’d always assumed he would want some of his own. But he doesn’t.
Not that it makes any difference for the future. Right?
Chapter 18
Vic
Overthenextweek,I immerse myself in running Blue Vista. I use the excuse that Derek is away and I’m trying to keep up with his work. The truth is, Derek has everything organized, so there’s nothing extra for me to do. Then, Derek gets back and there really is nothing to distract me from my husband, who I’m having trouble remembering why I’m not supposed to sleep with, or worse, catch feelings for.
I’m starting to fear I already have. I’ve had to shake myself out of thoughts of Tanner a lot when I should be working, finding myself thinking of how he’d stood up for me. It’s more than that, too. He’s honest with me, letting me know when he’s going to be home late and what’s been going on between him and Dad and the contract—which is to say, not much at the moment. He brings home flowers and gives me those silly origami pieces, usually without a word about it.
I knew from the beginning that I was attracted to him. What I hadn’t expected was how well we would fit together. How much I was going to like having him around, to hang out with, to talk to. The walls I’ve kept up are crumbling around me and I’m scared he doesn’t feel the same way, that he’s counting the days until our marriage is over.
This weekend, we’re going to Whistler for a few days for what we’re calling our honeymoon. It’ll be just the two of us, sharing a single hotel room with a single bed. We’d mentioned to Dad that we were going, and he’d insisted on getting us a room at the Sterling-owned hotel. We hadn’t had a good excuse to refuse, and we couldn’t exactly tell him we sleep in separate beds, so he’d booked it and now I get to spend three nights sleeping next to my insanely hot husband who I’m maybe falling for.
Or at least I will if I feel better than I do right now. Because, though I’d felt fine this morning, now I’m nauseous and freezing cold. It’s only lunchtime and I have to face the realization that I’m sick and have to go home. My whole body aches and I know I have a fever. I pack up my laptop and order an Uber because the ten-minute walk to my apartment might kill me. As I head out the door, I send a message to our group chat instead of saying goodbye to everyone.
Me
I’m sick. I’m going home.
Adalie
Oh no. How are you getting there? You’re not walking are you?
Me
I called an Uber. It’s here now.
I get into the car, nodding to the driver without speaking, huddling in the seat as far from him as I can get. When I check my phone again, there are two messages.
Spencer
You need me to bring anything by?
Lis
I could make you soup.
Me
No. None of you are allowed anywhere near me while I’m sick. I won’t risk Lis or Adalie catching this. I have my laptop if I start to feel better.
I breathe slowly and carefully as the motion of the car makes my stomach roil. I’ve never been more grateful the drive is only five minutes. I get out and head up to my apartment, the elevator ride another horrible experience. I arrive at my door, unlock it, and rush to the bathroom before emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
I hate throwing up more than possibly anything in the world. I will fight the urge every time, which of course makes it worse for me as my body takes over. When I’m done, I can’t bring myself to stand, so I pull down two towels, using one as a pillow and the other to wipe my face.
Darkness descends, and I can’t fight the pull of sleep even though I think I need to get up. My bed would be more comfortable. Did I close the door?
I’m not sure how long I lay there in a state of semi-consciousness—swinging between sweating through my clothes and shivering so hard my entire body shakes—before I look up to see Tanner standing over me.
“How—?” I manage.
“Spencer called.”
He helps me to sit up—his hands cool on my arms—until I can lean against the cupboards.
“So you rushed right home?”
