She rolled her eyes, saying “I’ll live,” as she got up and stretched. It was a familiar path to the small kitchen to rinse out her empty mug, and she remembered happier times when she’d spent as much time in this house as her own. She hadn’t been here since their relationship had fallen apart and it should have felt strange coming back now. Instead, it was oddly comforting to be under his roof again.
Later after he’d gone to bed, she curled up on the couch in her dry t-shirt and panties to watch the flames slowly die down until there was nothing but a bed of twinkling embers. The storm outside continued but the thunder had moved away, and the sound of rain splattering on the roof was relaxing in its own way.
Thoughts turned to memories as she stared into the fire. She’d been angry at Sam for so long, and the will had left her not knowing how to feel. She really wanted to add the blame for that to the pile she’d already dumped on him, but logically she knew it had all been her father making the decisions.
Sam hadn’t asked for her to be sent off to school, hadn’t asked to be the one who took control of the ranch. She knew it was unrealistic to think he’d had a hand in how her father had written his will, and even after she’d snapped at him earlier that afternoon he’d still opened his arms when she’d run to him for help in the storm.
He’d always been a good guy. Maybe that was why she found herself creeping across the floor to stand in the doorway of his bedroom. He’d left it open in case she needed anything, and now as she watched him sleep, she realized what she needed was him. Her body ached for his touch.
Everything was a mess. She couldn’t forget all the resentment she’d built up, but she didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to think at all; she just wanted to feel. She followed the dim light to the bed, lifted the covers, and slid underneath. His warm body was inviting, and she couldn’t resist the urge to stroke his bare chest.
He woke instantly. “Huh? What…Charlie?” The confused look on his face slowly turned to concern as he sat up. “You okay?”
A sharp laugh burst out of her. “No. No, I think it’s going to be a while before I’m okay, but I’m here, and you’re here. I just want to forget all the bad stuff. Can you make me forget everything?” She didn’t add the pleading note to the words, but she didn’t try to hide how she felt either.
“Charlie, you’re grieving and today was rough. I really don’t think this is a good time for you to be jumping into things,” he said. He grabbed her hand, frowning as it slid lower and came to rest just above the waistline of the pajama bottoms. He didn’t push it away, but he stopped it from creeping underneath his clothes.
“Still bossy, Sam? I’ve had enough people making my decisions for me today,” she said. She’d meant to snap the words, but somehow they just came out sounding tired.
The frown smoothed out into a more neutral expression. “I just don’t want you to have regrets in the morning.” It was a valid point and what he really meant was that he didn’t want her to have something else to blame him for.
There was a good chance that shewouldregret what she was doing later, but this was one thing she would have to admit wasn’t his fault. What she wanted, needed, was to be out of her head and away from the dark thoughts, and Sam had always been able to do that for her. She reassured him, knowing it was likely to be a lie, “I won’t. Please, at least for tonight, let’s just pretend like the last two years never happened.”
He seemed frozen in indecision, which wasn’t like him, but when she leaned in and pressed her lips to his he gave in. His arms slid around her and with a sudden violent motion he had rolled her over and pressed her down into the bed. “You’re sure?”
She could feel his hard glance on her like a physical touch, and she wondered how much he could see with the only light coming from the fireplace in the other room. She could barely make out his features so she suspected he couldn’t see much either.
“I’ve missed you,” he said.
She inhaled, drawing in the familiar scent of his shampoo and aftershave. “I know I said I’d had enough of people making my decisions for me, but the things we used to do together always made me feel…” She swallowed hard as her body reacted to the sudden flash of memory with a low throbbing. Her nipples hardened and pressed against the t-shirt.
She hadn’t realized how much her body had longed for his touch until then, but if he had any doubt that she wanted him her wet panties could have proved it. “I’ve never let anyone else do those kinds of things to me, but I need it. Now, please, help me escape the sadness for a little while?” The pleading in her voice wasn’t feigned; it was no manipulation.
If she was honest, she’d have admitted she hadn’t been with anyone else since him period, but she wasn’t willing to tell him that. He’d think it meant more than it did when really, she’d just been too busy to date. But it was true enough that she wouldn’t have let any other man dominate her the way he had.
Maybe it had happened because they’d grown up together, so she trusted him more than anyone else. Or maybe it was because he had been a little older and it had been natural for him to boss her around. But she could admit that it was mostly that he was hot as hell when he took control.
He held her pinned, staring into her eyes for a long moment as if making up his mind. “If you want this, then tell me, Charlie. Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you.” It was an order, harsh and clear.
She squirmed; her skin heated with an embarrassed flush that felt like it was covering every inch of her body, and she was glad he wouldn’t be able to see it in the dim light. She loved it when he made her talk like that, but underneath was always that level of embarrassment. Usually she could hide it better, but right now she wasn’t bothering.
“I want…” She took a deep breath as she struggled to get the words out. “Take me. Do whatever you want to me, you’re in charge,” she said.
He growled, lunging down to nip at the soft flesh of her breast through the t-shirt. “Not. Good. Enough.” He found where the hard nipple pressed against the cloth and sucked it into his mouth, soaking the cloth there, and not so incidentally the crotch of her panties at the same time.
“Tie me down. Tie me down, spank me, fuck me; do all the things you used to do, please Sam?” She was outright begging for it as her hips ground against him writhing, trying to get him so excited that he wouldn’t be able to hold back.
“That’s better. Quite a list there, little girl.” He laughed and then he rolled off her, leaving her feeling bereft and scared that it had just been a trick to make her vulnerable so he could say no.
But she heard him rifling around in a drawer and a few seconds later he returned to her with a coil of rope. It wasn’t the rough hemp rope they used on the ranch. This was the silky stuff he’d bought when they were beginning to experiment with bondage. It was even a deep shade of teal, her favorite color, and she wiggled eagerly on the bed when she saw it in his hands.
“You still have it!” It was a happy exclamation, but it was followed quickly by the stray thought that maybe he’d found other uses for it—other women to use it on. Her mood threatened to drop on the spot, but he seemed to understand where her mind was going.
“Of course, I do. You may have given up on us, but I never did, Charlie.”
The mild rebuke stung and there were so many things she wanted to say in response, but the words got jammed up in her throat and she just stared at him silently. Out of nowhere there was a haze blurring her vision, and she realized she was blinking away tears.
“Hey, Charlie, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” he said. He snapped on the little bedside lamp and took a seat next to her. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying I always hoped you’d change your mind. Thought once you were done with school maybe we could give it another shot so I kept everything.”
