Page 14 of Trusting the Fall
“I figured as much. I saw you for one beer, and then you were nowhere. Tristan said he thought he saw you talking to some blonde.”
“He would be right.”
“Ahhhh. See, I told you, you’ll never leave my brother’s bar disappointed.”
His words remind me of the same thing my Bombshell said. It never disappoints. I can confirm that.
“I’ll never doubt you again, mate.” I laugh just as the server calls my name. I hurry over to collect my lunch and start my walk back to the office.
“So you’d be up for keeping me company there again tomorrow?”
“Why do you need my company? You’re never one to sit alone.” A deep grumble echoes through the phone.
Mason loves attention and company. He’s always the life of the party. Whether it’s with his family, his closest friends or beautiful women, he thrives in any social situation.
“Gage is going to Royal Harbour next weekend and asked me to look in on the bar, so I have to go there for mini training. Can you believe that?”
“Doesn’t he have managers for that?”
“Yeah, but my brother’s got a control kink. He trusts his team when he’s a half-hour drive away and can come fix anything they might fuck up. A weekend away in another state, and he’s got a stick up his arse.”
I’m ready to decline watching Mason get handled by his older, terrifying-looking brother when I realise a certain blonde might be there too. I can go on the pretence of keeping Mase company, and if a blonde spitfire happens to walk in, then I guess we’re all happy.
6
Myeyesfollowthemotion of the brush, watching as the metallic bronze blends into the burgundy around my mother’s eyes. The same warm, golden hue that I see staring back at me in the mirror every morning.
My mother and I look so similar, there’s no denying that we’re related. But that’s where the similarities start to die down.
I love to dress up and show off my assets with pride. My mother loves to dress up but uses it as a tool to get what she thinks she needs.
I love to surround myself with people, finding a friend in every crowd. After my grandmother, the only people my mother remotely tolerates are me and Lex.
I love the attention of men, as long as I’ve welcomed it first, and exploring the way our bodies desire one another.
My mother hates men. All of them. She’s never recovered from the way my dad lied to her. He not only broke her trust in him, but he broke her trust in herself.
I can understand her hesitancy. Growing up and hearing the story of my conception over and over again turned me off relationships. Felt like a whole lot of effort for things to just turn into shit, leaving you with a bucket of heartbreak and spoonfuls of self-doubt that leak from every crack.
I’ve never had my heart broken, so I at least have the confidence to explore casual sex. Making sure to define the parameters to save me from the fate my mother drowned in.
Over the years, I’ve tried to tell her about the beauty of a one-night stand and friends with benefits, but she isn’t interested. I stopped pushing a few years ago when she finally said she’ll never let herself be vulnerable with anyone again. I knew she was jaded, but those words just made me feel sad for her.
She’s all about feminine power, but sex is power too. I loved how confident and beautiful the act could make me feel. It could be exciting; it could calm your mind as well. It gave you a way to understand your body, and by taking control, knowing your limits and defining your barriers, it could give you a sense of strength too.
I wonder how different our lives would be if my mother decided to let my father’s betrayal fuel her fire rather than burn her.
“So, what’s tonight’s event?” I ask her, switching to finish the shadow on her other eye.
“Women in business. It’s networking for female-owned businesses and women in male-dominated trades.”
“Nice. Gotta love when women stick together,” I say, trading my brush for some eyeliner.
Mum hums in agreement and takes a quick sip of her wine before I start drawing the liner on her other side.
“What colour lip are we doing?”
“Maybe a dusty pink. No men tonight, so we can save the red.”
