Page 88 of Center Ice
“How would I know? I haven’t opened it yet.” I look between them, suspicion making my eyes narrow. “Why do you both seem like you already know what’s in there? Did you open it before I came back?”
“Hey,” Morgan calls out, and we all turn toward the open front door. Apparently, everyone I know has the code to the keypad on our front door now. “What’s going on?” She looks between all of us, and then at the black box sitting on the table. Suddenly, she looks a bit embarrassed.
“You know what’s in that box, too, don’t you?” I ask her. Why am I the only one who is so clueless? My mind is spinning, trying to think of what Drew could have sent that all three of them would immediately recognize.
Morgan’s eyes sweep back and forth between all of us, and she makes a face like she’s trying to smile, but her teeth are clenched together, which makes Jules laugh. “Am I supposed to say yes, or no?”
“How doyouknow what Drew sent me?”
“Drew sent that?” she asks with a laugh. “That’s not what I was expecting you to say.”
“Alright. Now I freaking have to know, right now.”
Jules hands me a pair of scissors as I approach the box, and that’s when I notice that the box has an embossed black-on-black diamond pattern—it’s super subtle, but distinct—the type of pattern you’d remember if you’d seen it before.
It’s the kind of box where the front flap pulls out, so I turn it on its side and slide the blade through the tape at the seam, then set it down flat and lift the front. Inside, there’s black tissue paper with a crisp white envelope sitting on top. I open it and read it out loud. “To hold you over until I get back from this trip. Drew.”
I look up and all three of them are very clearly holding in laughter.What the actual fuck is happening?I have a feeling that whatever’s in here, I’m going to be embarrassed about it, so I start to close the lid.
Jules’s hand shoots out and grips my wrist. “No way. You have to open it now! You can’t just leave us hanging like this. We need to know what’s inside.”
“It seems like you already do?”
“I mean, we know what’s in there, but notwhat’s in there.”
“That makes no sense,” I say with a shake of my head.
“Just open the damn package, Audrey!” Lauren is clearly exasperated. “We obviously all know what comes in that particular box, so you’re about to be initiated into this club.”
“I didn’t know we had a club,” Morgan says as she pulls her hair back into a ponytail.
“We didn’t, until now,” Lauren says, then focuses her eyes back on me. “Open it.”
I tear the gold foil sticker off the black tissue paper and lift out a smaller box, probably about ten inches long and five inches square, surrounded in bubble wrap. It’s not until I’ve unwrapped it and am lifting the last layer off that I can tell exactly what it is. I feel my whole face flush, until I’m sure I’m beet red. Because pictured on the outside of the box is an enormous andveryrealistic dildo, balls and all.
“Ohhh,” Jules says. “That’s a good one.”
My mouth drops open as I look up at all three of them, who are now openly laughing at my discomfort. I drop it into the bigger box and slam the lid down. “Beyond how fucking embarrassing this is,” I say in a rush, “I’m trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you’ve all seen this box before.”
“It’s from the leading online retailer for…you know…sex toys,” Morgan says. “They have discreet but distinctivepackaging. I think it’s intended thatyouknow what’s just arrived, but no one else will know.”
“Well, fail on both accounts, then!” I practically yell. Then I turn to my sister. “And what do you mean,oh, that’s a good one? Do you have this already?”
Jules bites the corner of her lip, just like I do when I’m nervous. “I mean, yeah. It’s not my go-to, but I do have it. That suction cup at the bottom makes it great for the shower.”
My mouth drops open. The shower? “Not your go-to? Like, you have others?”
“Why do you sound so shocked?” Lauren asks, coming to Jules’s defense.
“Am I the only one without a vibrator collection?” I ask, horrified at the thought that at twenty-eight I’m apparently the grandma of the group—or at least when it comes to my own self-care.
They all just kind of shrug, and then my eyes narrow in on Lauren. “Okay, the rest of us are single. But why do you…need these?”
She takes a sip of her mimosa and says, “Your brother travels a lot.”
“Aaaaaand”—Jules says loudly—“that’s all the info we need.”
“I can’t believe that you all have been holding out on me! I’ve been single for the pastfour years.” I look at my sister, since Lauren and Morgan haven’t been in my life that long. “And you didn’t once think to tell me what I was missing out on?”
