Page 114 of Center Ice
“You hung lights?” Audrey asks, looking up and taking in the strands of string lights that hang from a center location on the brick wall behind us, and fan out to the tall posts I had installed along the low wall opposite. I wanted to make sure it added some ambiance, but didn’t block the view. “It’s so beautiful up here. I can totally picture us sitting on those couches”—she gestures to the two outdoor couches facing each other, which are currently covered for the winter—“on warm summer nights.”
“We should get some of those outdoor heaters too, so we can enjoy this space even when it’s cool,” I say. I don’t know what brought on today’s amazing weather, but we got one of those freakishly warm winter days for our move. Even with the breeze tonight, I’m plenty warm in my sweatshirt, but any other year in early December, and this space might already be covered in snow.
I haven’t spent much time up here by myself since buying the place, but I’ve tried to make it a space that Audrey, Graham, and I can enjoy together three seasons of the year.
“That would be perfect,” she says as she turns toward me, and then gasps as her eyes land on the back of the roof deck. “Oh my god, Drew!”
She walks over to the planting boxes that I built along the back wall. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
“I wanted you to be able to have your rooftop garden here, too.”
“I can’t believe you even remembered that I have one,” she says in awe.
She’d never taken me up to the roof deck space off her third floor, which I know used to be part of Jameson’s now-vacant apartment. But she’d talked about how much she loved gardening up there in the summer.
“Believe it or not, I listen to everything you say.” I shove my hands in my hoodie. “I’m notonlythinking about getting you naked when you’re around.”
She trails her fingers over the two tiers of planters, with their wood composite exterior and their lined plastic bins that I’m told will be perfect for the herbs and vegetables she grows. “I appreciate this so much.”
I come up behind her, wrapping my arms around her abdomen. “I want to make sure you feel like this is your home too, not just that you and Graham are moving into my space.”
“I already told you,” she says, melting against me, “wherever you are feels like home.”
“Well, I’ll do whatever I can to make sure there’s another Boston contract when mine’s up at the end of the season, so that this can be our home for a while longer. Or if they do offer me another contract and you want to look for another place, we can do that, too. Whatever you want.” I mean that last sentence with my whole heart. Whatever this woman wants, I will make it happen for her.
She tilts her head back against my chest and lifts her chin to trail kisses along my jawline. “I think we’ll be very happy here, unless you really do want to start growing our family soon. And then, we may need a bigger place.”
“Believe me, I can’t wait to give you more babies.” Just the thought has my whole body humming. “Whenever you’re ready, you just tell me.”
“Look at us,” she says. “We had a child first, reconnected later, fell in love last. It's not the typical way of doing things, but I wouldn’t change a single thing. I love where we’ve ended up. And even though I’m not quite ready to have more kids, believe me…when I am, you’ll be the first to know.”
She tugs on that gold disk of her necklace, the one I now know has a moon engraved on it.
“You do that when you’re nervous,” I say.
“Do what?” She looks up at me.
“You run that moon between your thumb and forefinger.”
She huffs out a laugh. “Do I? Jules does the same thing. I didn’t even realize I did, too.”
“You have the same necklaces?”
“Yeah, they’re from our mom. Mine has the moon, hers has the stars.”
“What about the sun?”
“My mom had that one. We buried her with it.” I hold her close to me, knowing there isn’t anything I can do to take away that loss except to love her through it. “It’s funny,” she murmurs against my chest, “me being the moon and Jules being the stars.”
“Why’s that funny?” I ask.
“Because the moon is anchored to the Earth and can only reflect the light of other stars, whereas the stars shine on their own.”
I tilt her chin up and look down at her. “Is that what you think? That you can only reflect the light of others?”
“I think…maybe that’s what I thought, until you came back into my life. With you, I feel like I shine on my own.”
My throat is tight and my eyes water. I didn’t think there was anything she could have possibly said to make me love her more, and then she goes and says that.
