“Wait a second. Are you sure you’re big enough?” I cross my arms, and it hits home how light I feel despite the heavy things Ava and I have shared.
“Daddy. I’m three and a half!”
I bop her on the nose. Cheeseball move, but can’t help it. She’s so fucking cute sometimes that I can’t stand it. “Then show me what you can do.”
She and Junie take off running again. They giggle like lunatics as they shoot down the slide. I whistle. Ava hollers. A minute later, the girls forget we’re there and busy themselves gathering sticks behind a blue plastic climbing igloo.
“I’m glad Ella’s taken to Junie so well.” I shift, draping my arm over the back of the bench. “She’s just so shy sometimes.”
Ava relaxes so that her shoulder almost meets with my fingertips. “Junie loves having someone to boss around.”
“I like a girl on a mission.”
Ava turns her head to look at me. “Of course you do.”
“That a dig?”
She sighs. “Just an observation. I still need an example, by the way. Of you putting on your superhero cape and saving all your brothers.”
“You really like talking about family.”
“That a dig?”
Only something I find incredibly attractive.“Just an observation.”
“Family is everything.” One side of Ava’s mouth kicks up as she looks out over the playground. “Hey, June, let’s not jam things up our noses, okay? That stick is gonna hurt if it gets stuck.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
“Anyway. Family is everything, whether it’s the one you’re born into, the one you find, or the one you make,” Ava continues. “So yeah, I’m curious about yours.”
Jesus, it’s like this girl read a manual titledThings That Turn Sawyer Rivers on an Absurd Amount.
She’s big on family. That mean she wants what I do? Marriage. More babies. Dogs and maybe some chickens and just the whole shebang.
“My younger brother Duke tried out for football back in high school. He was definitely going to make the JV team. Maybe even varsity. I was worried he’d get, like, paralyzed or something, because you hear all these horror stories?—”
“How muchVarsity Blueswere you watching at the time?”
“Too much. So I quit the varsity soccer team to make sure there’d be a spot for Duke instead.”
Ava looks at me. And looks.
I clear my throat. “Because, you know, soccer is a lot safer?—”
“Much safer.”
Her attention is unnerving. I can’t tell what she’s thinking.
“You loved soccer, though.” She says it like a fact.
How does she know?
Why does she care?
Is now a good time to ask her out on a date?
I shove the thought from my head. It’s too soon. Too much. We’re just fucking friends, damn it.
