“What do you think makes up chemistry? Like, why does it exist between some people and not others?”
The question comes out of nowhere. Or maybe it’s been simmering in the back of my mind since Ava and I collided on that dance floor back at the Blue Stallion.
Whatever the case, I’m dying to know what she thinks.
Lifting the cigarette out of my fingers, Ava brings it to her mouth and takes a thoughtful inhale. “There’s physical attraction, which is a big part of it. But chemistry goes beyond that, right? I think it’s about connection.” She wiggles her ass, pressing it into my lap. “You can be attracted to someone, but you can only reallyfeelthem when they turn your mind on too.”
Of course she’d have a thoughtful answer to my random question.This, I want to tell her.This is chemistry.Being understood. Being able to talk without worrying about being judged for who you really are and what you really want.
“Yeah,” I say instead. “Maybe that’s why it’s so rare.”
She holds out the cigarette to me. “But when it hits, ithits.”
“Ain’t that the truth?” My head buzzes as I suck down the last of the Parliament. “I value sleep above all else. Like, sleep is my happy place. Except right now.” The smoke swirls between us as I meet her eyes. “I don’t wanna waste a minute sleeping tonight.”
Ava bites her lip. “Let’s have another cigarette, then. Just because we can.”
* * *
We fuck again in the bed. This time does Ava in, and she nods off after I clean us up.
Much as I wish I could say I stayed awake, I don’t. But before I pass out, I call room service and order some breakfast to be delivered in the morning. The longer I can keep Ava here, the better.
Then I give her shirt a quick soak in the sink. When I’m satisfied the stain and the smell are gone, I hang it up to dry with a hanger I hook on the doorknob.
I climb into bed and pull Ava against me. She sighs, reaching up to touch my nape.
I drift off with her fingers in my hair, her body curled up against mine.
CHAPTER9
Ava
NOBODY’S DARLIN’
I’msore everywhere when I wake up early the next morning.
Between my legs. My back. My head throbs.
God, why did we drink all that champagne and smoke those cigarettes?
Because it was fun.The most fun I’ve had in ages.
It’s the pleasant soreness in my chest, though, that really alarms me. Turning my head on the pillow, I see Sawyer sleeping peacefully beside me. His arm is still slung over my middle.
His handsomeness fills me with an ache deep in my center. His scruff has filled in overnight. His eyelashes look especially dark against his skin in the thin, early light. And that mouth, the way he saidfuck good—the way he worshipped my wild?—
I gotta get out of here. Now.
Panic is familiar. So is the tenderness inside my breastbone, although in a more distant way. It’s a vague memory, a feeling, coming to visit me out of the blue.
The feeling isn’t a bad one. In fact, it’s warm and it’s welcoming, and I could bask in it like sunshine.
Freedom.
Too bad it never, ever lasts.
Last night was wonderful, sure. But it was also a fantasy in so many ways. One-night stands can be sexy because there’s no time for the other person to let you down. I loved spending the night with Sawyer, but I’d bet my bottom dollar that if we kept hanging out—if our hookup turned into something more—he’d just end up disappointing me. Sure, things are sexy and fun now. But they won’t always be. He’d get comfortable. Bored. He’d end up taking me for granted, just like Dan did.
