Page 98 of Summer Light on Nantucket
Nick laughed. “I think our high school loves are like the first time we wait at the top of those crazy elevated water slides. We’re already terrified and thrilled just to be there, and we can’t know what the ride will be like.”
Blythe shuddered. “Or like the first time on a Ferris wheel. When it stops, and you’re at the top, and the bucket is rocking.”
“Right. After that, everything else seems tame.”
Blythe thought about that. “Or,safe.Everything feels safe.” After a moment, she added, “But isn’t it nice to have memories of…being enraptured?”
Nick made an odd noise in his throat, half cough, half comment. “We have memories. I’ll always love Brielle. You will always love the girl you were when you loved Aaden and the boy Aaden was when he was young. It’s a gift life gives you. You can keep it.”
“I can keep it,” Blythe echoed. She did not have to deny or forsakeher memories of love with Aaden. In a teasing voice, she asked, “How oldareyou?”
Outside, a breeze set the branches of a maple tree swaying, casting shadows and light on Nick’s face.
Nick said softly, “I’m old enough to know that I’m in love with you.”
“Oh!” Blythe’s heart was a pitcher overflowing with happiness. “How can you say that when you’re way over there?”
“I’m right here with you,” Nick said.
“Not close enough for me,” Blythe told him. She rose from her chair and sank onto Nick’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and folding herself close enough to whisper in his ear, “I love you, too.”
—
One morning, Blythe gathered her children and took them to the moors to sit by the Doughnut Pond and watch the iridescent blue dragonflies skim the air. The beaches were crammed by crowds wanting one last swim before summer ended. Blythe needed quiet and she thought her children could use it, too. Really, legally, Bob should have them but she thought he and Teri could use some private time today. She ordered her children to put their phones away for ten entire minutes and simply sit by the pond, enjoying the view.
A white heron flew onto the small island in the middle of the pond and daintily picked at its feathers.
“Look!” Blythe whispered, not pointing so she wouldn’t startle the bird.
“Cool,” Daphne said, and maybe she meant it or maybe she was humoring her mother.
After ten minutes, the children exploded from their perches and raced off to check out the other ponds and, Blythe knew, check out their phones.
Blythe remained seated on the soft summer grass. From here she could see hills stretching toward the sky, and some of the leaves were already red. The heron flew away. The dragonflies continued to float past, and one landed for a while on her toe. She lay back in the grass and sighed with pleasure. She belonged here. She belonged here just as much as Aaden belonged in Ireland. She decided to call him that afternoon.
—
Later, her four children, exhausted by reality, chose to indulge in the comfort ofJurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.Shamelessly bribing them with popcorn and lemonade, Blythe left them in the family room and settled in the living room to talk with Aaden. It was almost midnight there, but she thought he’d be awake.
“Blythe.” Aaden answered, and his deep voice could still move her.
“I can’t talk long. The children are here.” She was using them as an excuse to keep this conversation short. She was dreading it. “Aaden, I’ve decided. I can’t come to Ireland. I can’t see you again. I don’t want to leave my children, and I’m going to be teaching, and I like my life.”
“Are you saying this is final?” Aaden asked. “Do you mean that we are over?”
She heard the pain in his voice. “Not over, really. We’ll always have memories—”
“I don’t want you in my memory. I want you here, in bed with me, now.”
Blythe paused, stunned by her own feelings. She was irritated! She wanted this to be over. With a choked voice, she managed to say, “I can’t do that. I won’t do that. My life is here.”
“Is there someone else?”
To her surprise, a laugh bubbled up from her chest, freeing her from the chains of her own memories. “That’s not for you to know. I’m sorry. I’m glad I got to see you again.” She thought:But am I?“But we’re over. I wish you well. But we’re over.”
“You have broken my heart, Blythe.”
“I think you’ll be fine,” Blythe told him. “Your heart—”
