His hoodie that I wore home Saturday is sitting on my stool. The black Sharpie that was used to draw the X is opened and pointing to the word hockey.
Oh fuck. She knows!
My legs give out as I start fighting for air on the floor.
How did she get in?
Why was she here?
Is she going to tell Father?
He’s going to kill me!
A piercing ringing starts in my ears and no matter how tightly I push my hands over my ears, it won’t stop.
“Please.”
Maybe she gave you stronger pills in hopes you’ll finally off yourself.
Or laced with them with fentanyl.
Father wouldn’t be disgusted by the sight of you anymore.
Benji will get your second half of the trust fund.
Nobody would care.
No, no, no!
“SHUT UP!”
I curl into a tight ball squeezing my eyes shut and yank my hair as hard as I can.
Suddenly I’m backthere.
Stale cigarettes
Black eyes
Hands…everywhere
I open my eyes and see nothing but blackness. I stare into those dark eyes and scream. I scream as loud as I can. I scream until my lungs burn and my voice goes hoarse. Tears arestreaming down my cheeks as I pull my legs to my chest and start rocking.
“Oh my god, Charlie!”
Someone with cold fingers presses on the side of my neck, then my forehead. I blink my dry eyes slowly until Lily comes into view. She’s kneeling in front of me, breathing hard.
I try to swallow but there’s no saliva in my dry mouth.
“You scared me half to death, Charlie. I’ve been calling for an hour then your neighbor downstairs said she heard screaming a little bit ago. I don’t know why her lazy ass couldn’t come up here to check on you.” She lets out a breath and looks at me. “What happened, Jax?” She starts running her fingers through my hair.
The way she’s looking at me makes me want to cry. She helps me sit up as the world spins. She moves to sit next to me and wraps her small arms around me in a tight hug. I lay my head on hers as I stare at the destroyed picture.
“She came into my home,” my raspy voice wavers.
Lily looks up at the drawing of Shane. “Who?”
“My mother.”
