Page 10 of Trusting You
I’ve spent the last year and half fixing my relationship with her, and being the daughter that they thought I was. I’ve worked hard to change, and I have no intention of going back.
When I stepped outside the physics building, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I carefully navigated the icy sidewalk as I pulled it out to check my messages. I figured it would be Emma asking about lunch. We usually met in the student center to grab a bite before our afternoon classes. I was shocked to see Aaron’s name pop up. I’d written him off when I didn’t hear anything that morning. He’d been so insistent last weekend that I’d assumed I’d have a message waiting for me this morning.
Aaron: Saturday night, 6pm, meet me at McGill’s Pub
Mel: ok
I left it at simple response due to my shock. McGill’s was my favorite place to eat. My parents took me there all the time as a kid, and I go there at least once a month now. The idea that I might run into someone I knew didn’t even cross my mind. Being seen out with Aaron was the last thing I wanted. What if he said or did something to make someone think I was back to my old ways? I’d meet him there, but I had to convince him to go somewhere closer to campus. I couldn’t risk my reputation.
When Saturday came, I went about the day as usual despite my nerves. My mom agreed to let me have the car, and after working out a few details with her I prepared for what I hoped would be a low key evening. It was still pretty cold out, so I dressed myself in a simple blue sweater and a pair of skinny jeans. I tied my hair back in a low pony, put on some light makeup, and made my way to McGill’s.
When I pulled into the parking lot, Aaron was parked in his Jeep right by the front door. Our eyes connected as I parked the car, and hope filled his. His door opened and after climbing out, he made his way over to mine. I left the car running and rolled my window down when he approached. His brow furrowed and his outstretched hand clenched and went into his pocket. I cleared my throat before mustering up the courage to tell him I couldn’t eat here. “I can’t eat here,” I swallowed.
“But Em said this was your favorite,” he scratched his head. “She said you come here all the time.”
“I do,” I slowly nodded. “They all know me,” I swung my eyes to where several patrons were laughing as they were coming out the door.
“Okay,” Aaron drew the word out slowly.
“So, I’m not going in there,” I closed my eyes, praying that he’d let it go. I didn’t want to argue and it was sweet that he asked Em about me, but having someone from my old life share something with him was just too much. The chance was too great, and the consequences could destroy anything that we have before we even know it.
“I see,” he pressed his lips together and bobbed his head. “You don’t want to go in there with me.” He was mad. Hurt flitted across his face before anger replaced it. “You said you’d give me a chance. Was that a lie? Was this all a joke to you?”
His words stung as they mingled in the air between us. “I am giving you a chance. Just not here. We can go somewhere else.”
“You know what? Just forget it. I’m never gonna win with you,” he waved his arm at me as he turned to go back to his Jeep. “I was kidding myself to think you’d actually give me a shot.”
Part of me knew I should just let him go. If I kept quiet and let him leave that would be the end of it. There wouldn’t be any more phone calls or texts. Aaron would go back to Wilmington and I wouldn’t have to see him until Emma’s wedding. That part of me was the smart part. The girl in the car tonight, she was the dumb impulsive one. “Wait!” I shouted out the window to his back. I took a few deep breaths before rolling the window back up, cutting the engine, and climbing out. I hadn’t worn a coat, so I wrapped my arms around myself as I rushed after him. He’d stopped a few steps away, and paused. “I’m sorry. Here is fine,” I relented. If someone said something, I’d lie. No one around here knew Aaron. I could play off an excuse as to why he was with me.
Aaron didn’t even say anything as he reached for my hand, turned us, and led me inside. For a Saturday, it wasn’t very crowded. We only had to wait about ten minutes before we were led to a table. The hostess smiled at me like she was going to say something, but then opted not to before walking away and leaving us there in awkward silence.
“What changed your mind?” Aaron mused as he picked up a menu and began reading it.
“You have this perception of me that’s wrong. I’m not perfect,” I folded my arms in front of me on the table, leaving my menu untouched.
“You’re as close to perfect as I’ve seen,” he refused to look up at me. His mouth twisted as his emotions rolled across his face. “Shit!” he berated himself. “I’m fucking this all up.”
“Why are you trying so hard?” I tipped my head to the side as I stared at him. “I mean, you could have anyone. Why are you working so hard to get me to give you a chance?”
“You’re different. I don’t know what it is, but I can tell. You’re different than the girls I usually hang out with. You see me, not the hot lifeguard,” he folded the menu and set it aside. “I want to be enough,” he murmured as he shook his head.
“Stop trying to impress me and just be you,” I smiled.
“You didn’t like me. I was me this summer, and you hated that guy,” he shook his head.
“That wasn’t you. That was the Aaron that your friends know. I want the guy that hung out with me when it was just us. When no one else was around you were a pretty nice guy. Where’s that guy?”
By this point our server was on her way over. As soon as she laid eyes on Aaron you could see she was trying to get his attention. When she took our order and he didn’t even blink at her, I was impressed. “Do you think she’s pretty?” I asked as innocently as I could.
“Is this a test, or do you really want to know?” he leaned back on his chair as he studied me.
“I really want to know,” I nibbled my lip.
“No,” he didn’t even look in her direction before answering.
“You didn’t even look at her. How do you know?” I furrowed my brow. I don’t know why I was pushing him, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“Don’t need to. She’s not you,” he shrugged before sipping his water.
