“And let you get hurt?”
I scoff in frustration. “What, like the way you hurt most of the female population back then?”
He frowns and I high five myself in my head. Easy to put the blame on everyone else and forget you’re part of the overall problem.
Truth is, I might not have beenhurtin that way, but the way I’ve been constantly rejected still did some damage. Yes, I’ve never really had my heart broken by some dude lying to get in my pants, but because of what Jack and him did, I’ve always felt there was something wrong with me. Before that, I’venever really paid much thought about myself. I dated a few guys in high school and lost my virginity as a senior to my first real boyfriend—whom I broke up with because we went to college on opposite sides of the country. And then, college. Where guys would talk to me and ask me out before standing me up and ghosting me for the rest of the year, pretending like I never existed when we would ever cross paths.
So obviously, I thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I smelled bad. Maybe there was something unpleasant about my body or my face, which would have explained why my other siblings were always looking at me like I had the plague.
But of course, Nate would not understand something like this. Because he’s a guy.Theguy. The one girls were fighting over for even a minute of his attention. The one who never dated the same one twice. Of course he would never understand what it’s like to be the one left aside.
And to admit how I felt all these years because ofhim? No. Not worth the embarrassment.
“It’s not the same,” he mutters.
“Oh, it’s not? How is it not? Were you not one of those same assholes? Were you not sleeping around with all the girls, not giving a shit about their poor hearts, interested only about getting laid and nothing else?”
His hand flexes on the table as his gaze narrows on me, eyes suddenly darker. The muscle in his jaw twitches a couple of times, a clear indicator that I’ve hit a nerve.Good.
“I won’t deny that I’d spent most of my first three years fucking around and I guess it had earned me a reputation if you throw it back in my face even now. But even though you think you’ve got me all figured out, you’re wrong.” He smiles smugly. “I’ve always been honest about my intentions. The girls who shared my bed knew from the start that it was never supposed to be serious.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah, sure. Like you didn’t know some of them would hope for more than that!”
“My intentions were clear,” he shrugs, “I was not responsible for their expectation. And, as I told you, it’s not the same.Iwas always honest, whether they chose to listen or not,” he says, leaning forward to get closer, invading my space over the table. “The guys I overheard talking about you during that whole damn year? Oh, they were not above lying their way to your bed. So,I’m going to repeat what I said yesterday when you were leaving. I’m not sorry about scaring them away back then. Because if there was one woman I couldn’t see hurt, it was you. So blame me, I don’t fucking care. I did what was right, and I wish Jack and I never fought, so I would have kept doing it, kept scaring all the Jerkwoods of this world away because they didn’t and will never deserve someone like you.”
My breath itches in my throat as we stare at each other, his eyes as dark as a storming sea. What does he mean by all that? If I didn’t suspect him to be secretly in love with my brother, I could almost think—no. It has to be something else, right? Resentment? Those two emotions can easily be confused, right? There is no way he would look at me like this.
But his eyes don’t dart away, and my skin is starting to burn from his—too intense—gaze.
“Here we are! Careful it’s hot, just out of the oven.”
I jump as the waitress places our plates in front of us, and I’m almost certain I see his eyes spark with satisfaction and the corner of his lips tilt upwards.
I’m hallucinating again. I might really have to check in with Jack’s neurologist, it’s getting out of hand.
“I—I need to use the washroom,” I stutter, standing up abruptly.
The waitress points to the door next to the kitchen entrance and I grab my phone before I flee. I lock myself in and freeze in front of the mirror, grabbing the lip of the sink.
Why am I freaking out?
Because of that weird look in his eyes? I’m obviously wrong. Either my damn brain or my storytelling eyes are trying to fuck with me.
I need to focus on the facts.
He scared guys away because he didn’t want me to get hurt. Why? Because he was friends with Jack who was overprotective of me.
His reputation as a heartbreaker is a little bit exaggerated, if what he says is true. After all, I hate to admit it but he’s right. He’s not responsible for other people’s expectations.
For whatever reasons, he thinks he’s doing me a favor in meddling with my relationships, and I need to put an end to this. I don’t care if he plans on doing this again to reconnect with Jack or something, but I won’t let thathappen. It was not okay then, and things have changed. Jack is not like that anymore.
Jack…
What did Nate say about Jack giving him the go ahead to f—
Oh god. I can’t believe he managed to…
My phone pings on the side of the sink.
