“Do you need any help?” I ask tentatively, fumbling with the pen I grabbed on the table.
“Absolutely not! But if by any chance you’re about to make yourself some coffee, I’d be happy to have one too.”
She winks at me and I smile awkwardly. Is she really this cheery all the time or is this an act? Happy people freak me out.
“Sure.”
I pour two coffees while she puts the groceries away in the cupboards and fridge. As soon as she’s done, she turns and beams at me.
“Care to join me on the terrace for a little coffee break?”
“Hum… Sure, yeah.” My smile is so forced it makes me cringe.
We both sit at the little wooden table, facing each other. What’s the protocol here? Are we supposed to make small talk? I think she already knows enough about Jack and me. Exchange about the weather? The sun is trying to fry us alive and this furnace is literal hell. Next.
“So, I thought that maybe we could clear the air now rather than later,” she says kindly, and I tense. “You’re obviously uncomfortable with our presence and I understand. But, I’d like you to explain to me why.”
“Sorry?” I ask, nearly choking on my sip of coffee.
“I don’t like walking on eggshells,” she explains, “and Ikram is way too nice to ever ask you directly what’s bothering you.” I frown but she continues. “Can I make any guesses? Jack told us on our first day that to this point, it was you taking care of everything. Are you bothered that he’s not relying on you anymore?”
I stare at her, lips parted, and I can’t produce any sound. Stupid brown, too expressive eyes… I bet my worries and reservations were written across myface all along.
“If that’s what it is, you need to understand that our job is not toreplaceyou,” she says, insisting on that particular word. “We’re here to assist, and make both of your lives easier. To allow you to live normally. Jack has only one wish, it’s for you to have a life of your own, so he can simply be a part and not the center of it.”
“I know change is hard, especially when it’s been just the two of you for so long, but you need to understand that Jack is, first and foremost, your big brother. And seeing you taking care of him for so long has been really hard for him, because you’re twenty-seven, and you should be pursuing your dreams, having friends and a career, building a life of your own.”
“I don’t want to build a life that I know he’s not going to be a part of,” I blurt out through a tight throat, tears gathering behind my eyes.
I’m surprised by my own revelation. Feelings have always been hard to express for me. She exhales a sad breath, her expression pained. She leans forward until her hands are cupping mine around the coffee cup.
“I don’t need your pity—”
“I’m not pitying you, Prudence,” she quickly interrupts with a soft but firm voice. “I’ve been doing this job for six years. And I’m not going to lie to you, your brother is not fine. He is in a lot of pain, and his disease is… It’s bad. But you’rehere. With him. And that alone is bringing light into his life. It’s not because he doesn’t need you to take care of him or that he doesn’t need you period.”
I try to swallow the tears away, but a few manage to fall down my cheeks. She quickly wipes them with her thumb.
“It’s alright, darling. It’s okay to let it out. Your brother loves you more than anything, and I know you do too. And losing him, either in a few months or a few years, it’s going to be hard. But we’re all going to be here for him and for you. All the way. With us being here with you guys, you can focus on your good moments. Spending quality time together. Making new happy memories. Let us deal with what is hard and painful and focus on each other’s relationship. You’re his family, not his caretaker. And he doesn’t want to feel like a burden to you anymore.”
“He’s not a burden,” I sob, and she slides her chair closer to me to rub my shoulder gently. “I’ve always taken care of him, since we were kids. Nowhe’s all I have and I don’t know what to do if he doesn’t need me anymore.”
“He’ll always need you. But relationships change with time. Right now he needs you to be his sister. He needs you to live your life and come home and talk about your day. He needs you to find your place in the world, so he knows that when he’s gone, you’ll be sad of course, but fine on your own. With friends to look out for you. A job you like to keep you busy. A potential partner who’ll love you.”
She wiggles her eyebrow and I snort grossly. Alright, I guess I was unfairly cold and mean to her. She’s kind of nice. Really nice.
“How do you know all that, anyway?” I ask, taking the tissue she hands me to dry my eyes.
“Well, your brother talks a lot,” she answers with a kind smile and a knowing gaze. “He told us how he felt on our first day, before you arrived. And we quickly noticed that you didn’t like us much, so we asked him about you. About your relationship, about your dynamics. I know you don’t see him as a burden, but hefeelslike one. And it’s important to him that your relationship dynamics change.” She pauses for a moment, and our eyes meet. “Do you think you can do that? Include us in your dynamics with Jack? Be his little sister and let us take care of the rest?”
I sigh, willing the last of the tears to just go away.
“I guess I can try.”
She circles my shoulders with her arms and hugs me for a couple of seconds. I’m not a huge fan of physical contact, but right now, her presence is comforting me.
I guess I can learn to like her.
“Great! How about Ikram and I take you out for drinks tonight? Maybe you’ll feel better once you get to know us better?”
