“We are. I… I really like him.”
I smile when he turns his face back towards me. His eyes are sparking with something they haven’t in a while: Hope.
“I really like him too.”
“I’m just—” he says, before stopping himself with an anxious sigh. “I’mworried. The main reason I didn’t want to date anymore was that… I didn’t want to leave people behind, you know? I still don’t. And it’s scary. Like I really want to fix things with Nate, but I feel selfish for coming back to his life when I can die at anytime and—”
“Stop thinking about that,” I cut him off, my throat so tight I’m not sure how the words managed to get out. “We’re all happy to just be a part of your life. To be here, with you. Don’t think about what’s coming after. It’s for us to figure it out.”
“But what if—”
“Just live, Jack.” The pressure behind my eyes snaps, a tear escaping and falling down my cheek. “After everything, don’t you think you deserve some happy things? You’re sick, yeah… But it doesn’t mean you can’t love and let people love you.”
I take his hand, squeezing it tight in mine, and our equally teary gazes hold. He’s leaning against the counter and I’m just standing there, in front of him, trying not to cry. I wish I could go back in time and space, and be able to stop our parents from making him believe that he didn’t deserve all these simple things. From making him feel unloved, unsupported, and unwanted in our own family.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, a tear slipping out of his eye and rolling down his cheek. I reach out to wipe it with my thumb.
“I love you. All the important people do. Don’t think about the ones who don’t, because they don’t deserve your attention for one second. Focus on yourself, and the ones who actually want to spend whatever time we have left with you.”
The next thing I know, I’m swallowed and surrounded by his long arms, held tight against his tall frail frame. And I’m grateful for his decision to exclude me from his health care. Because for the first time in a long while, I feel like his little sister again.
26
SEX ON THE BEACH
2 Missed calls from Mom.
Mom: Can you call me?
1 Missed call from Mom.
Mom: Please, Prudence. It’s important.
1 Missed call from Mom.
Mom: I know you’re declining the calls, I can tell when the beeps don’t beep as much as they should!
PRUDENCE
I realize that even wearing my comfortable sneakers, my feet are killing me and I feel like if they decide to walk on the beach I might limp to my death.
Evie and Ikram pick us up at 11 a.m. I can’t hold the smile that stretches my lips when Ikram goes straight for Jack and kisses him deeply, before they start whispering to each other.
“They’re so cute, it’s revolting,” Evie says with a long sigh.
“Yeah,” I muse. “But it’s good to see him happy. Them, actually. I don’t think I’ve seen Ikram smile so much before.”
“That’s just because he’s a moody bitch and you gave him the cold shoulder at first. He likes you, he’s just a little wary because he likes Jack so much.”
“What are you girls talking about?” My brother asks with a suspicious frown.
Evie chuckles and takes a few steps to stop next to him to ruffle his hair playfully. He sat back on his chair a couple minutes before they arrived, wanting to preserve his strength in case he wanted to walk a little later.
“You’re one to talk,” she huffs. “Ikram and you were whispering during the few seconds you were not sucking each other’s face off.”
Jack’s gasp is pure feigned indignation as Ikram, on the other hand,rolls his eyes in real exasperation.
I want to draw them. Here, frozen in this moment. Maybe I should take my tablet to the restaurant, especially if we stay to hang out on the beach afterwards.
