Page 220 of Of Empires and Dust
She couldn’t help but feel as though she’d imagined him. He’d been dead for years, and then he’d just been standing there before her, alive. How could it have been possible? Surely it had been some sort of trick? Her big brother was alive.
“What brings you to the Ilyienë?” Aruni looked up at the godlike tree that stood over them.
“I needed a place to think.” Ella had spent the days since waking doing exactly that, saying very little to anyone. There had been so much to think on, so much to process. It had been clear that all Tanner and Yana had wanted to do was ask her a thousand questions, but both had left her be, something for which she was very thankful. “I heard of what this place is, what this tree is. Is it true that the bodies of those killed in the battle lie in the ground beneath it?”
Aruni nodded softly.
“So much death…”
“Life and death are part of the same circle. We return our dead to the earth so that they may bring life. The Ilyienë is a sacred thing to my people. It is said that each flower is a soul that touches the tree, attempting to call home. The greater the loss, the larger the tree. This place is a conduit that bridges this world and the others. A place where we can be closer to everything we’ve lost.”
“Is that why you’ve come here?”
“In a way.” Aruni ran her fingers over her chest, tracing something beneath her dress. “I was born in a woodland to the far north, along the Lightning Coast. My people were few, and so we lived in peace for many centuries after The Fall. But some years ago, the Lorians found us. They slaughtered many and took the rest of us captive. I…” Aruni’s hand trembled, and she picked at the scabs on her wrist, blood trickling. “The things thatwere done in that place… I do not know if the ones I loved ever found Heraya’s embrace. At least here, I feel like I can, in some way, be close to them again. And with Valdrin gone, it’s nice to feel close.”
“I understand that.”
“Did you lose someone?”
Ella nodded softly. “My Ayar Elwyn… my mam and dad. I never got a chance to say goodbye…”
“It is not an easy thing,” Aruni said, “to lose the ones you always turned to for safety. It sets the world out of balance.”
Ella paused a moment. “Your son, would you ever lie to him?”
Ella regretted the question the moment it left her lips. She didn’t know this elf. She had no right to push her sorrow onto Aruni.
Aruni turned her black eyes from the tree and stared into Ella’s. This time Ella didn’t gasp or flinch. She found sorrow and loss and loneliness in Aruni’s eyes. “Valdrin is not my son.”
“I’m sorry,” Ella said, suddenly feeling ashamed. “I just… The way you said his name, I just…”
Aruni shook her head. “He is not my son by blood, but he is mine. We are bonded.” Aruni let out a soft sigh. “Lies are a strange thing. What they are changes with what we need. They are necessary. They are evil. They are white. They are black. A lie is what we are willing to accept. Would I lie to Valdrin in order to keep him safe? Yes, I think I would. Because I am willing to become the thing he hates as long as it means I have kept him safe and warm and loved. That is my task as a mother. I hope he loves me. I hope he thinks the world of me, because if he didn’t, it would break my heart. And yet, as a mother, I’m willing for my heart to be broken to ensure his is whole.”
Ella pressed her tongue against the back of her bottom teeth and stared up at the glowing flowers that dangled on the vines.Part of her wanted to stop the conversation there, but the grief within her took over. “Would you lie to him his whole life? Would you lie about who he was? About who you are? About everything?”
A hand rested on Ella’s shoulder, and Aruni’s soft voice sounded once again. “Did your mother love you?”
“I don’t know anymore. Did she? How am I meant to know if she is willing to lie to me about everything?”
“You hold your mother to such high standards, and yet you lie to me with ease.”
“I didn’t lie.”
“And you lie to yourself, too. If you didn’t know your mother loved you, you wouldn’t be so angry. She loved you dearly, that’s why it hurts.”
That cracked Ella, cracked her heart, cracked her soul. The wolf within her whimpered. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this. I don’t even know you.”
“Sometimes opening our hearts to strangers is far easier than doing so with the people who know us. There is no risk. We are free to be honest where we may not always be. That and I have a way with people.” Aruni reached over and scratched Faenir’s chin with her right hand, stroking his head with her left.
The wolfpine moved forwards and licked her face from chin to forehead, unapologetically.
“Oh, gods. He’s wonderful.”
Faenir had gotten so large that Aruni barely had to bend over to look into his eyes. A deep, protective instinct drifted from Faenir to Ella. He leaned forwards and nuzzled the side of Aruni’s cheek.
“He’s not normally this trusting of strangers.”
“Those who have suffered have a way of finding each other.” Aruni scratched at Faenir’s ear, then stood back to her full height. “Ella, I would sincerely like if you joined me for some tea.Not now, but whenever you are ready. Therin can bring you. I’ll ask him. That is, if you would like to?”
