Page 113 of Of Empires and Dust
Therin’s heart lurched at the sound, twisting in his chest. He opened his eyes, droplets of rain rippling the small puddles that had formed before him. “Faelen.”
Slowly, Therin rose, his legs like reeds beneath him. He stood like that, with his back to his daughter, his gaze fixed on the Ilyienë tree, finding himself unable to turn.
“Can you not even look at me?”
“Of course I can.” Therin turned, tears mingling with rain the instant he saw his daughter’s face. She looked so much like Líra with her dark hair matted to her face by the rain, her eyes a deep gold.
“You never came,” she repeated.
“You made it clear the last time we spoke that I wasn’t welcome.” Therin forced himself to hold Faelen’s unwavering gaze.
“I was angry… and then you were gone. And then when I saw you again in the forest after the Uraks…” Faelen drew a sharp breath, steadying herself. Her lips curled into a half-smile at her own emotions – something her mother had always done. “When I saw you again, I…”
“It’s all right. Myia ilise amar.”
My sweet child.
Therin took a step towards Faelen and reached out his hand, but she moved back, clutching her hands to her chest.
Therin swallowed, trying to hide his pain. “How did you know I would be here?”
Faelen looked at the ground, then back to Therin. “Aeson came to me. He told me you needed me, so I came.”
Therin nodded slowly, feeling the rain tickle the back of his neck. “Sit with me?”
Faelen inclined her head. She followed him to the base of the Ilyienë tree, where the roots were thicker than his torso and stretched out many feet past the trunk.
Therin sat himself on the stone, leaning back against a root. He patted his hand on the ground beside him. Faelen moved slowly but eventually sat at his side.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come. The last time you spoke, you were so angry and I didn’t know what to do. I’d already caused you enough pain. You already hated me. I wanted to give you peace. I owed you that.”
“I never hated you.” Tears welled in the corners of Faelen’s eyes as she looked up at the drooping clusters of luminescent purple flowers. Welled but didn’t fall – another trait she shared with her mother. “I was furious at you for not standing by our side. For choosing exile over condemning the Astyrlína.”
“The elves of Lynalion are our people too, Faelen. Before The Fall, many were my friends. Your mother’s sister?—”
“Do not speak her name.” Faelen straightened her back and once again turned her gaze to the glowing canopy above. “You think that I called your honour forfeit because you refused to declare your support for Aravell over those who withdrew to Lynalion. I didn’t. I can see the honour in that, I can see the honour in standing by your people, in trying to do everything you can to stop us tearing each other apart.”
“Then why?” Therin twisted where he sat, staring at Faelen, who continued to look upwards.
“Why?” Faelen shook her head. “Because you chose your honour over your family – over me. You refused to declare for Aravell, knowing full well they would cast you out. Knowing full well it would mean leaving me and Mother alone. You knew she was sick. You knew, and you went anyway because you would never have it said that Therin Eiltris was without his honour. And then she died, and I needed you, and you weren’t here.”
“Faelen…”
“She asked for you. When Heraya was taking her, she asked for you. And you weren’t there. No, you chose not to be therebecause it was your duty and your honour to not choose a side between your people even though youknewthe Astyrlína were wrong. Even though you knew they stood against everything you loved.”
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this? When I came back during the Valtaran Rebellion, or the Varsund War, and again with Aruni and Valdrin, you never said anything.”
Faelen looked at him in disbelief. “It took you three hundred years to come back, and when you did, it wasn’t to make amends, it was to ask for aid in another peoples’ war. That was all you cared about.”
“That’s not true.” Therin leaned back against the root, his chest feeling moments from caving in. Faelen was right. He could see it now, see everything he had done. A realisation set in, and tears flowed over his cheeks. “Do you know why I came here to the Ilyienë?”
Faelen sucked in her cheeks and shook her head.
“Because I don’t know where your mother was returned to the earth. I don’t know. I never had the heart to ask because I didn’t feel as though I had a right to.” Therin rested his palm on the rough bark of the root to his left, his fingers pressing into the wood. “I came here in the hope that through the Ilyienë she might hear me and I might feel her again.”
“Father, can I ask a question of the heart?”
Therin could do nothing to stop himself from laughing. It started in his belly, then rose to his chest, taking over until he leaned forwards and pressed his fingers into the creases of his eyes.
