Page 10 of Of Empires and Dust
“You can’t. But you don’t have a choice.”
Ella stared back at Tamzin. Even though her body was not her own, her mouth still felt dry, her throat tight. She hated the feeling of being helpless. That was how she had felt when Rhett had died, and it was something she never wanted to feel again. “Does the name ‘Andras’ mean anything to you?”
Tamzin didn’t shift her gaze from Ella’s, her hand still lingering in the air. She shook her head. “It does not.” She took another step closer. “We need to move.”
“He was a druid,” Ella continued, ignoring Tamzin’s words.
“There are others who may well know his name. If we can repair your mind, I will take you to them, but right now we’re out of time. I’m not the only one who felt you fragment, not the onlythinglooking for you.”
The wolf rumbled in the back of Ella’s mind, a sense of resignation within it. She didn’t trust this woman, but she had little choice. She tried to pull herself back to the waking world, just as Ilyain had said Andras had described: by closing her eyes and willing it so. But nothing happened. The only other time she’d left Níthianelle was when she had shifted with the owl… and that hadn’t ended particularly well. Besides, she couldn’t sense the spirits now like she had then.
Ella moved forwards, drawing a long breath and rolling back her shoulders. “Where will we go? There is nothing…” She looked around. “Anywhere.”
“Your eyes are closed, Wolfchild. I can open them.”
It seemed impossible to Ella that her lips could be dry considering they were made of light, but that was exactly how they felt. She nodded slowly, uncertain. The wolf within her bowed its head in acquiescence. “Do it.”
Tamzin reached out her hands, looking keenly into Ella’s eyes. The woman’s nails were strange, thick and tapered to a point, curling slightly, thin scars lining the skin at the centre of her fingertips.
“I am a daughter of Kaygan, one of his guardians.” Tamzin’s eyes flickered from deep brown to sapphire blue, her pupils stretching to slits. Her nails extended out, the scars on her fingertips opening, claws curling. “This continent hunted our kind to near extinction. Used us as weapons, as tools. But here we are, alive and free. You are not alone anymore, Ella. And you never will be again.”
Ella felt the wolf within her whimper, a strange sense of belonging radiating from it.
“Do not be afraid,” Tamzin said, a sincerity in her voice. Her pupils widened, rounding and growing larger as she looked at Ella. “Too many of our kind have died from being alone and afraid. We were never meant to be that way.”
Ella clenched her jaw and pressed her hands into Tamzin’s, wrapping her fingers around the woman’s wrists.
“Close your eyes.” Tamzin moved closer, the blue in her eyes seeming to shift and change like a raging storm.
Ella did as she was told, nodding more to herself than Tamzin.
“When a mind fragments,” Tamzin said, “it loses its grounding, loses its bond even to Níthianelle. Focus on your breathing. Feel your chest expand and contract. Feel the air enter your lungs. Listen to the sound it makes.”
Once again, Ella did as Tamzin commanded. The swelling of her lungs rushed in her ears, each breath like thunder against the silence around her.
“Now focus on your heartbeat. Not just how it thumps in your chest, but how each beat sends a pulse through your blood, how it feeds life to your body. Feel it, become conscious of how it flows in your veins.”
As Ella followed Tamzin’s words, a sense of calm came over her. The panic from earlier was gone. Each breath of air, each beat of her heart, settled her mind.
“Feel my hands on your skin. Feel the touch of my claws.”
Ella suddenly became aware of a warmth that flowed from Tamzin’s grip, of the sharpness of Tamzin’s claws pressing against her skin. It wasn’t that she hadn’t felt it before, but now it seemed clearer, more tangible.
“Níthianelle has many secrets, Ella, many layers, many truths, and many lies. It is a mirror of the mortal plane, a place where souls are tethered. This realm is as real as anything you’ve ever known. You are here, just as you are there. It will take many moons and many summers for you to understand the depths of what you can do here, but for now I need you to reach out with your mind, to feel the world around you.”
Ella wished people would stop saying that: ‘reach out with your mind’. It wouldn’t irritate her as much if someone actually explained how to do it. Her mind wasn’t a limb. She couldn’t extend it like she could her arm.
Letting out a sigh of frustration, Ella attempted to do what she was asked, despite still not quite knowing how. She drew a long breath, then tried to imagine the world around her, the real world, the waking world – the mortal plane.
All she could see were images, memories, things she had witnessed in the past. A dirt road. Plumes of grey smoke wafting from chimneys in The Glade. The white walls and red slate rooves of Midhaven. Calen’s face. Rhett’s eyes. The lines at the corners of her mam’s mouth whenever she laughed.
She stopped for a moment, a lump forming in her throat, but then she pushed forwards.
“Tell me what you feel, what you see.”
“Nothing.” Ella did little to hide the frustration in her voice.
Tamzin gave a short laugh, her hands pressing a little tighter against Ella’s. “You’re as iron headed as I was. Let go. Let your mind paint a picture of the world around you. Don’t force it, just set it free. Bind yourself to this place, find your feet. Your subconscious knows more than you realise.”
