“Meanwhile, Mom tried to clean up her act and be both parents to us, but the stress overwhelmed her. The secondhand groceries, thrift store shopping, and getting tossed out of apartments because we couldn’t pay the rent took their toll. So did my father’s infidelities. In hindsight, I think being with my dad destroyed her … essence, for lack of a better term. She wasn’t a strong person to begin with, and being with him sucked up what little spirit she had.
“They weren’t married, and when they split, my sister and I went with our mother. I don’t know if he wanted custody or visitation—she never said, and we didn’t see him during those months—but she died shortly after leaving him from a drug overdose. Kaylee and I ended up right back on the beach with Pop, living the same drifter’s life. Without Mom there to mask how bad things were, it became obvious Pop’s body was broken and his reputation as an asshole preceded him, making it impossible for him to compete. And then he got this brainwave.” She huffed out a derisive snort, and Noah braced himself for what came next.
“My sister and I had always surfed. It’s what you did if you were in Pop’s life, like other families watch Disney movies together. Kaylee didn’t like it, though. She lacked coordination and hated always being in salt water. On the other hand, I was good, so Pop zeroed in on me and pushed me hard. He was relentless. It got so bad that Kaylee tried to intervene. That worked for a while, probably because I had missed so much school with all the practices and competitions, and she started raising a stink with the state.”
“You must have been good.”
“Yeah. Real good.” Her tone held neither hubris nor apology. “I think there are still YouTube videos floating around out there of some of my wins. And honestly, I loved it. When I was out there, it was just the wild waves and me, and I pushed my body to beat them. I competed against the surf, not other surfers. But I didn’t want Pop to know that. I guess I was afraid I’d give him one more tool to control me with.”
“So what happened?”
“Kaylee was my rock, but she’s six years older than I am. She couldn’t wait to get away, but she stuck around because of me. When she finally left, I was devastated. I think my dad noticed she was gone just long enough to pull me out of school again. After that, he acted as though she didn’t exist. That left me with only him, his string of girlfriends, and surfing, so I poured myself into the sport, hoping to get enough attention to go pro and get away. It worked—for a while. I made a little money, got some friends, put down a few shallow roots. For once, I felt like I had solid ground under my feet instead of shifting sand. But I was underage, and one of Pop’s girlfriends—who didn’t like me much—tipped off the school. They didn’t care on the circuit, but the schoolsdidcare. So Pop kept moving us around. When I complained, he hammered home how much he was sacrificing formybenefit. He claimed it wasmydream, but it was really his. He lived vicariously through me. My success was his.
“When I was eighteen, Kaylee begged me to move in with her. But I wanted to see if I could compete on my own, and there’s no surfing in Denver. I needed to get far away from Pop, though, so I moved in with some friends in Cocoa Beach.”
“Florida? That’s about as far away as you can get.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. But then the dominoes started to fall. I discovered Pop’s passionhadfueled me. That is, my anger at what he put us through had gone a long way in stoking my competitive fire. Without him there to piss me off, I couldn’t stay sharp. I lost interest in competing. It’s kinda strange. While he wasn’t around physically, he still had a hold over me, if that makes sense.” She paused, hesitating. “Sorry. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing me babble.”
Not even close.“Nope. Still fascinated here.” And it wasn’t only her story holding him rapt. The sound of her voice, warm and silky and full, soothed his frayed nerves. He nudged her thigh with his knee. “Keep going.”
She blew out a breath, as if bracing herself. “One thing led to another, and I started partyinghard, falling into the same bad habits as my parents. One morning I woke up in bed between one of my roommates and his buddy. We were all stark naked, and I had no clue how we got that way or what happenedafterwe got that way. To this day, I don’t know, nor do I want to.
“That, literally, was my wake-up call. I moved in with my sedate schoolteacher sister and got my GED in Denver. With her help, I earned a partial scholarship, got my degree, and landed a safe government job. I haven’t looked back.”
Jesus! Okay, so maybe this girl was responsible for their dilemma, but she had to be badass to survive her childhood with an intact sense of purpose and a good heart. Noah and his brothers had grown up as Fall River mining royalty, descended from a long line of great-grandparents before them, spawned by benevolent parents who loved them unconditionally. Despite his dad’s criticisms, Noah was a lucky son of a bitch. He had been born into a life of opportunity. How different his upbringing was from Hailey’s … and so many others whose tragic stories he heard on a nightly basis behind the bar.
“You still with me, or did I bore you to death?” she whispered.
Recovering himself, Noah made his mouth move. “I’m here. Just processing. Do you miss it?”
“Not really. I took up snowboarding, though, which shares some similarities, so I get my fix that way.”
“Do you ever talk to your dad?”
She shook her head, and the motion released more of the flowery scent that was becoming familiar. When she spoke, the wistfulness in her voice gave him a peek through the tear in her soul. “Pop drank himself to death.”
Moments ticked by as he waited for her to say more. When she didn’t, he murmured, “You don’t blame yourself, do you? I mean, I think it’s incredible you pulled yourself through like you did.”
“I try not to. The irony is that his love of such a beautiful sport was toxic. In trying to share it, he pushed everyone away. It killed my mom and destroyed any inclination my sister or I ever had for it.” A strangled laugh escaped. “I don’t even like beach vacations.” She cleared her throat and, in a quaver, added, “You probably already know this, but you’re a good listener. I’ve never shared my dark, ugly past with anyone before.”
Not even with your naked roommate?danced on the tip of his tongue, but he managed to swallow the crude attempt at humor.
Instead, he contemplated the skeletons she had presented him. Plenty of people had poured out their secrets to him over the years, but for some mysterious reason,hertrust lit something in his gut. A pull toreassure her overtook him, and he gave in to it. “I’ll keep your secrets safe. And you’re not alone. Every family has them.” As soon as the words came out, it occurred to him what a farce they were. They were sincere as hell, but here was the family fuck-up handing out sage-sounding reassurances. Thank God his father wasn’t there to call him out.
And then another thought struck: his fatherhadbeen there,wasthere, doing what he thought best for Noah and his brothers, even when Noah didn’t like what he had to say. Had to be tough as a parent, but his father had never backed down from doling out life’s lessons.
“I wish I could keep him. Someday,” she murmured. “I hope he makes it.”
Her quiet question yanked him back to the present. “Who?”
“Rover.”
“Me too.” He resisted the urge to glide his hand to her hip and give her a reassuring squeeze.
“What do you suppose happened to him?”
“He could’ve jumped from a vehicle or wandered away from home and got lost. If he’s chipped, we can track down his family.”Did I just say “we”?Yeah, he had. Because he found himself invested. Must have been their crazy situation messing with him.
