Page 69 of The Wonder of You
It turns out my throat isn’t the one being slit today. Blood spills out of my uncle’s neck in a way that no horror movie could ever do justice. The amount of it, the speed of it, it makes me dizzy to watch. I sit up and scootmyself backwards. I’m covered in blood, but I’m not dead.
I’mnotdead.
Carl makes a gurgling sound that would haunt me if it was any other being, but watching Carl die is a blessing. I don’t know what that says about me, but through the horror, I am so relieved I cry out again.
I look up as Henry drops my uncle’s body on the floor. He slams his fist into his face with a crunch that I am sure is a broken nose. I hope he felt that. I hope he’s suffering how he made me suffer.
Phoenix skids as he runs to me, dropping to his knees in front of me and lifting me into his arms. He holds me with shaking arms.
“I am so sorry,” I whisper as I sob into his shoulder.
“Never say sorry,” he holds me tighter and rocks me back and forth. I grip onto him like a toddler refusing to let go of their mother. The feeling of safety rushes back to me, even with the dead body of my abusive uncle beside me.
But it’s not over. The three of us turn immediately as a weak voice speaks out.
“Renée?”
“...Dad?”
I get to my feet quickly. Henry still looks monster-like as he stands above my dead uncle and looks at my dad. I don’t want him to hurt Dad in panic of how this might play out.
“He tried to kill me, Dad.” I cry like six-year-old Renée would have done and a sob breaks through. “He had a knife to my throat.”
Phoenix holds onto my arm to steady me.
Dad looks at Carl on the floor, his eyes widen as he notices the pools of blood.
“Who did it?” he whispers.
“That would me.” Henry lifts his head in confidence.
Dad leans on the wall and nods.
“Holy fuck, I wish it was me.” He closes his eyes as tears fall down his cheeks. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. “I didn’t know he was out, bloody hell, I didn’t know.” He shakes his head as if trying to push away this moment. He reminds me of when we sat in the doctor’s office before my grandad left the room with me. I don’t let my brain take me there though. I am here in this moment now.
“I’m so sorry, Renée,” he whimpers. He rubs his eyes, like he doesn’t want us to see him crying. He doesn’t know I’ve seen and heard him cry so many times. I used to stand outside his door while he sobbed. Sobbed for Mum, sobbed for the hard times of single parenthood, and what he believed was a failure on his part because of what happened to me.
It’s not my dad’s fault though.
It’s not my fault either.
Everything was Carl’s fault.
Now he’s dead.
“What are we going to do?” Dad asks. “Do we call the police? This is a murder scene, defence or not, someone has been killed. Someone will notice he’s missing…”
Toni and Lukas walk in before anyone gets to respond. They both look at me relieved. Neither of them seems bothered or shocked by the scene on the floor, or the amount of blood still dribbling out of my uncle’s neck. They’re just happy to see I’m okay.
“Oh Renée, I knew I shouldn’t have let you leave,” Lukas says. Dad looks up at him as if this all a weird dream, with a dead man on the floor and a clown comforting his daughter.
“No one blames themselves today, okay? No one blames themselves ever.” I glance between Lukas, my dad and then up to Phoenix. “This is Carl’s fault; it always has been.”
I don’t look down at his dead body. It takes a lot of courage to even say his name out loud. His name on my tongue feels like I’ve just bit into a lemon. It’s disgusting.
“Right!” Henry puts his hands on his hips, he is the leader right now. “Toni, can you make Renée’s dad a coffee? Once he has one, he can go in the living room and sit down.”
Toni nods and puts the kettle on.
