Page 67 of The Wonder of You
“Why are you crying?”
“I love this so much, Maudie, no one has ever given me anything like this. I will treasure it forever.”
“Yay!” she squeals, jumping up and down. I notice the loud noise erupting from her catches the attention of Lukas who has also started helping with the tent issue Henry is having. He smiles, obviously knowing what Maudie has gifted me. I slip it onto my wrist and it fits perfectly.
“I love it, thank you.”
“You are welcome, now help me make some more ladybugs!”
I chuckle and do as I’m told. I could get used to this again.
Chapter 48
After Maudie declares she needs a nap from the exhausting task of painting ladybugs on rocks, I watch Phoenix continue to help with the stubborn pole that has come loose from a tent. I can’t believe my eyes as I stare at him and this beauty around me in general. Everything is perfect.
Lukas sits on the deckchair beside me and smiles.
“I really doubt he wanted to help when he’s just got you back,” he chuckles.
“It’s good to see him getting involved, though, isn’t it? We’re slowly getting back to normal.”
Lukas’ smile fades a little.
“Nothing has been normal since you left, Renée. Nothing at all. We’ve missed you so much. I felt such an ache in my heart the second you disappeared. I didn’t even feel that way when Cheri walked away… I knew if I felt that way, Phoenix must have been in hell.”
My eyes instantly blur with tears.
“We tried to keep going, but it’s been hard. We’ve all been waiting for you to come back. I’m not sure what we would have done if there wasn’t hope you’d be back one day. I’m not sure we’d have lasted.”
I swallow, feeling the weight of his words. Am I really so important to these people that the world stopped turning when I disappeared? I reach forward and squeeze Lukas’ hand. It’s so nice sharing this affection with other people.
“I missed you all, too. Maybe not in the same way considering I forgot everything, but I think I knew, somewhere deep inside, that I was waiting for something. It kept me going through all the hardest times in this life, trying to believe that there was something good to live for just waiting for me. I think my love for you all, for Phoenix, was just too strong. The minute I came here, I knew I was home.”
We share a moment in silence together. Phoenix and Henry laugh as the tent flaps around in the wind, making it difficult to amend. Toni shakes her head as if they’re two naughty little boys, but I can see the joy on her face. She reminds me of a happy grandma, although she’s far from that old. Well, she doesn’tlookthat old but I suppose, logically, she is as old as can be.
“You know,” a sudden thought comes to me. “I might go back to the house and just figure things out for a moment, get some clothes together… the circus isn’t leaving yet, so I have more time to figure things out with the house.” I’m babbling, not really trusting my own thoughts, not really wanting to go back, but knowing I should.
“You don’t want Phoenix to go with you?” Lukas asks, looking concerned.
“No, I’ll be fine, he really needs this.” I nod my head towards him where he is laughing with his buddy. Henry is enjoying this moment, it’s so obvious from the delight on his face. They’ve missed me, but they’ve missed Phoenix too. It sounds like we both died that day, but while I was gone completely, Phoenix’s ghost haunted the circus. It must have been hard for them tosee their friend in such a way and now they have him back. I want them to bathe in that joy.
“You be careful,” Lukas says sternly. I am comforted by their love for me, but I have been alone for twenty-nine years. I can handle this, I can handle the house and yes, I can handle my sister. Even after all that has happened, she can’t hurt me now.
I set off alone for my house. It doesn’t take long to walk, but this route feels so strange now. So much has changed since I was here last. When my grandparents’ house,myhouse, comes into view, it feels like a thousand years ago I was here last. A whole different lifetime.
So much has changed in such a short time, but completely for the better. I almost don’t want to be here, but I have to get some closure.
Confusion seizes me when I go to unlock the door and realise it’s already unlocked. I know I locked this, despite reliving years’ worth of memories in a night, IknowI locked this door. Did Dad unlock it, perhaps? No, he wouldn’t do that, would he? I hope to God he didn’t give a key to Lydia. I push the door open and I’m met with silence.
“Dad?” I shout as I walk further into the kitchen. What could him or Lydia possibly be doing? Maybe Ididforget to lock it when Phoenix met me, too fascinated by him to remember.
My thoughts are broken by the most terrifying sight, the most terrifying voice. My bladder wants to empty itself as I realise this is not a nightmare.
“Hello, Renée.” Uncle Carl emerges from the living room. Twenty years has affected him badly. His face is wrinkly and droopy. His hair is gone. But he still has those horrible eyes, that horrible smirk. He looks me up and down in a way that sends a chill through my body. He’s going to kill me, isn’t he? I’ve just got my life on track and he’s going to kill me. I don’t know if Phoenix will have it in him to wait another hundred years for me.
Phoenix.
Why didn’t I bring him with me? Have I always been so stupid?
