Page 28 of The Wonder of You
It hits me; Lydia is right. My dress does resemble a bed sheet. It’s as if I cut up some old sheet, or perhaps some old curtains and made clothes out of them. Despite what Lydia thinks, we are doing okay as a family. We may not have money for fancy clothes and materials, but wehavemoney. We have a roof over our heads and a bed each. We have food and water. Perhaps I am selfish to think this is enough when I just do not care for the finer things in life like she does. Right now, though, I do wish I was wearing something a bit fancier for this handsome man in front of me.
Butterflies wiggle in my stomach and I start giggling.
“I’m Phoenix de Raven.” His eyes sparkle and he holds out his hand. I feel like I’ve been thunderstruck as I take it, so much so that I am speechless. He introducedhimself to me by his full name, but I think I’ve forgotten mine in this moment. I don’t want to let go.
“I’m, uh…Renée. Renée Stipe.”
Oh Renée, I think,you can’t be crushing on the ringmaster!
I bet he has a wife and children. Some walking beauty that looks like she should be married to such a dashing man. He would never have any interest in me, he’s just being polite.
But my mind changes when he says, “I bet I can win you something good.”
Henry raises his eyebrows.
“Well, the challenge is yours my good friend,” he says, and then he winks at me.
Phoenix makes me gasp as he grabs the fake pistol and instantly takes down all of the cans on the stall. Henry puts his hands on his hips.
“Hmm, I wasn’t expecting that… what can I grab you, my lady?”
“Oh, well it was you who won,” I say to Phoenix.
“No, you pick, please, I won it for you.”
My heart warms at his words, so I take a deep breath and look at all the playthings. I’m far too old for something like this, but I choose a piece of wood shaped like an animal. It seems like someone has painted on it too, perhaps a representation of the chosen animal.
I’m not sure how I’ll be able to convince Lydia that a handsome man won me this and no money was involved, but I’ll have to give it my best shot.
“That one, please,” I say, feeling timid.
“The lion.” Henry grins as he offers it out to me. I wonder what a real lion would be like to see. If its mane is soft. I can only imagine that Phoenix’s hair is soft to touch. I won’t ask him though. He may end up running from the freak which is me. I’m expecting him to leave, to go win another woman a prize. Perhaps that is his approach at the circus, but to my surprise, he lifts his hand to me again.
“May I take you to one of the shows?”
“That would be nice.” I bite my lip, feeling excited and nervous. I take his hand which sends a commotion of feelings through my stomach. Waves of exhilaration. The hair on my arms raises and little bumps appear. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, but I welcome this new experience. Lydia and her remarks about my appearance are out of my mind. I feel like the most beautiful girl here as I allow Phoenix to sweep me into the crowds.
Chapter 20
Phoenix and I watch one of the shows together. It’s calledCircus Nightmaresand quite frankly, it is marvellous. The acrobats spin around in the most shocking and flexible ways. I love their dark outfits and their black and white face paint. A large bearded woman stands to the side and claps her hands and I can see tears lingering around her eyes. Her smile radiates her pride.
As the show ends, Phoenix takes my hand and my heart jumps straight out of my chest. I don’t want to scare him away by acting like an excited, love-struck child, but I guess some part of me is one. We wait until everyone but bearded woman has left. She stands in the corner of the ring pulling out materials from a box which look like clothing for the performers. Lydia would go wild for this, although I imagine these bright colours are not to her style.
“Toni,” he calls to her as we descend into the ring. “I’d like you to meet Renée.” He introduces me with a large smile and sparkling eyes, as if he’s known me for years. I can hardly believe he’s showing me off to his friends. My heart continues to swell. No one has shown me this kind of affection before. No one has ever looked proud of me.
“Hello, young lady, did you enjoy the show?” she asks.
“It was wonderful, everyone is so talented.”
“Thank you, that they are,” she smiles, her eyes flit between the two of us. “Well, I see you have ourPhoenix here rather smitten, so I’ll let you get on, shall I?” she grins at him. There is a look on her face I can’t quite work out, but I think it saysyou’ve got to tell me more later!
I am envious of this large, happy family. Could I belong to something like this? With a man like Phoenix by my side?
“What do you do here?” I question as we walk out into the field beneath the night sky; the fresh air feels good on my face after sitting in the warm, crowded tent.
“I mostly just manage it all. I suppose I’m not like most ringmasters, so I’m not sure if I can really call myself that at all to be honest. My staff, they are so talented and fantastic at what they do, I want them to take centre stage. Most evenings I just walk around and make sure everyone is happy,” he says, his eyes focused on mine the whole time.
“I think you’d look very good centre stage,” I say and then giggle, my cheeks feeling as if they’re going bright red. I cover my face with my hands. “God, I’m sorry, I sound like I’m flirting, and very badly too!”
