Page 26 of The Wonder of You
I nod.
“Say it back to me.”
“Everything will be okay.” I smile, feeling like we’ve had a moment like this before.
As the door opens and we walk in, I take a deep breath, knowing I have to do this. The inside of the cabin is darker than the outside without the circus lights behind us. There is a mouldy smell that I do my best to ignore.
Arabella is hunched in the corner; I can tell from here she is a little old woman. Her attire is old fashioned, a long brown dress with a simple knitted cardigan. It reminds me of the old women when I visited my great-grandmother in the care home. It confuses me somewhat; I thought these people were immortal? Bound to live in their current form forever? Why would Arabella not choose to stay younger like the others? Perhaps this is just what she prefers. She reminds me of the witches from the old movies I watched with my grandparents as a child and I find myself pulling back. I’m trying to fightthese emotions but it's difficult. It’s difficult when one minute I feel like I’m a princess in a fairytale, finally finding my prince. And now Phoenix and I are Hansel and Gretel without leaving any bread crumbs for people to find us as we make our way to the witch.
“It’s okay,” Phoenix whispers as he guides me over. I sit opposite Arabella, my heart pounding. It only slows a little when Phoenix sits beside me with his hand on my knee.
“It’s been a long time, Renée,” Arabella croaks out as if it’s a struggle to speak. I don’t know what to say. I still don’t have any memories of this woman with the dark eyes and the crooked nose.
“What is it you wish me to do, Phoenix?” Arabella asks, rubbing her hands together. I have no idea how this is going to work and there is a nervous thump in my chest. It feels like that moment before an interview. The interview that has taken you a month to work towards, only for you to do terribly and end up not getting the job. It reminds me of when I sit down with a therapist and they look at me for a moment too long, making me uncomfortable in an environment where I should be able to relax.
“I want her to remember everything. I don’t want there to be any doubt,” Phoenix says. Having him next to me helps me stay calm, though I know I should be preparing myself for whatever might happen here.
Before I have a chance to really appreciate what is going on though, to ask any of my own questions, Arabella flicks her hand in the air and I feel my headfalling back. My vision blurs, but not like during my past visions. This time I feel as if I’m about to pass out.
“Phoenix,” I grumble, trying to reach for him, but my hands no longer feel as though they are my own.
“You must not fight it,” Arabella says sternly, though her voice cracks. Through a blur, I can see her head tilting back. Does the magic she uses wipe her own energy? Is that why she looks so old?
I can’t concentrate, though. I have never been drunk, but I assume this is what it feels like.
I feel Phoenix moving me so that my head is on his lap. I gasp for air as I look up into his handsome, dark eyes. I am afraid, but I am safe. A weird combination of feelings that I struggle to understand. Arabella frightens me, but I know with Phoenix, I never need to be afraid. With him, Iamsafe, Iamhome. I feel everything I have ever wanted to. As he puts his hand on my cheek, my muscles start to go weak and my eyelids grow heavy. I grab his collar, but my hand becomes weaker and drops back down. I watch it as it moves slowly towards me as if it’s a feather.
Let it happen, I tell myself.
Embrace whatever is happening,I remind myself as Phoenix’s face gets blurrier.
Know the truth,and with that, my eyes close.
I feel myself being lifted, as if I am nothing more than just a cloud. It’s weird, having consciousness, but not being able to open my eyes, or move my body. I remember in a Religious Studies class in school once that a girl said she thought when you died, yourconsciousness kept going despite being dead. I remember being terrified, seeing the horrified expressions of my classmates and the teacher shutting the idea down. However, whatever this is, it’s nice. It’s comforting. Perhaps it’s because I know I am in Phoenix’s arms. Fresh air hits my face as Phoenix leaves Arabella’s cabin and, I can only guess, walks towards his own.
“Can you get the door for me?” he asks.
“Sure,” Lukas responds.
Phoenix holds me in his arms longer until he finally speaks. “Where do I put her?”
“On the bed, I guess.” Lukas sounds confused, as if he can’t understand why Phoenix would ask him this.
“Well, I don’t want her to wake up and be scared on our bed… she sees it as just my bed at the moment, you know.”
“Put her on the sofa then, I am sure that will be okay, but won’t she wake up with her memories?”
“I hope so, but I don’t know.” Phoenix sighs as he gently lays me down on the sofa. “I’m scared, Lukas,” he admits. My heart breaks at his simple words.
“I don’t know what to say, Phoenix, but I do know everything will be okay.”
“What if she doesn’t want to come with us? Come home? I won’t leave without her.”
“Phoenix, listen to me. You have told me the story of how you both met by Henry’s stall so many times. You said you felt a desire to go over there, as if something was pushing you. That the minute you looked at her you knew she was your soulmate, and you knewshe felt it too, right?” Lukas tells. I can only assume Phoenix nods in agreement as Lukas continues. “When I introduced her to you, it was like I was watching your memories play out. I felt like I was witnessing that moment happen again. Whatever happened to Maudie that day didn’t work, but backfired into making her a child forever. Whatever happened to Renéedidwork, but it also backfired… you two are soulmates, nothing can ever come between you. She has always known you and when she wakes up, she’ll be herself again. There won’t be any doubt in her mind about coming with us, this is where she belongs. Trust me.”
Phoenix rubs his hand over my forehead. “What if she had come here with a husband?”
“I don’t think it would have happened, whether those witches cursed her with a life of misery or not, she would have never found love until she found you.”
