I’d like to start competing again, too. But there’s also Candice to consider. Will this thing between us—whatever it even is—end when my community service does? That thought makes me want to rip up the careful log I’ve been keeping into a hundred pieces, and start all over again. It makes me want to ask the judge to give me more hours—more than I could ever complete, enough that I’d have to stay here at Star Mountain forever.
I know that I need to tell Candice how I feel. But with everything happening with Storm, it’s just not the right time. She’s emotionally overwhelmed.
I shake my head and force myself to get back to work. The hours pass slowly, as my mind keeps circling back to Candice, and to Storm—to the moment we realized she was gone. To the look on Candice’s face—on Beau’s, too. Like they weren’t just sad she had died—they weren’t surprised either. Like whatever hope they’d ever had for her to live had always been a false hope, because they both know better. Because they both know that the cold bell of death tolls with no regard for what the living want.
I try to focus on the tasks in front of me, but I’m distracted and moody all day, and the horses can tell. When I take Brown Sugar out for turnout, I spend a few extra minutes with her, giving her scratches and treats, and it makes me feel slightly better. She reminds me that there are plenty of horses thatcanbe saved.
At the end of the day, I walk over to Jenny’s trailer and knock on the door.
“One minute!” she calls out, and the sound of small feet pounding on the ground fills the air.
Lila opens the door, with Jenny close on her heels.
“Hi Natan,” she says with a wave. She’s still learning how to say my name, and she sounds so damn cute when she tries that I just might change my name to Natan for her.
“Hi Lila.”
“Well, come on in,” Jenny says, holding the door open and letting me past. “I assume you’re here to talk about Candice?”
“Kind of?” I sit down at the kitchen table, which is covered in Lila’s coloring supplies and stacks of soaps. “What’s with the soap?”
“I make soap out of milk from the goats and sell it online,” she says. “But that doesn’t matter. What matters is Candice. She’s been in bed all day and she won’t get up even to spend time with me and Lila.”
I nod. “I know.”
“And Beau is even worse. He’s just roaming around the house grumbling to himself and drinking beer. I tried to get him to come babysit Lila because I know that always cheers him up, and he said no.”
“I’ve got an idea,” I say. “The thing Beau and Candice love most is horses. And if they won’t leave the house and go to the barn themselves, we’ll just have to bring it to them.”
It’s noteasy keeping a headstrong Shetland pony under control inside a space he’s never been before. Especially if that space is a kitchen full of delicious smelling food. Still, I manage to get Bubba under control as he pokes around the kitchen curiously, sniffing at the fruit bowl on the kitchen table and eyeing the dish towels warily.
“Candice,” I bellow. “Beau! You better come out here.”
“Lila has something she wants to show you,” Jenny calls out.
“I do! I do!” Lila adds in a tiny, high-pitched voice.
“We’re not taking company right now,” Beau yells from the living room.
“Too fu—” I glance over at Lila and immediately change course. “Too darn bad! We’re here anyway.”
“Go away!” Candice says from the hall.
“And leave you two to rot in here together? No chance,” Jenny says.
“We’re not rotting, we’re mourning,” Candice calls.
“Fair enough, but Lila still has something to show you! And I brought over a tray of mac and cheese.”
The mac and cheese was Jenny’s idea, and a brilliant one. Neither Wilson sibling can resist it, and it’s the perfect comfort food.
“Fine, fine,” Candice says, and I hear the sound of her footsteps coming closer to the kitchen.
“You ready, Lila?” I ask, squatting down next to her.
“Yes, I wanna ride Bubba!” she squeaks.
Jenny picks her up and carefully positions her on Bubba’s back. The pony is decked out in a tiny western saddle that I found in the back of the tack room earlier. I gave it a good clean, groomed Bubba within an inch of his life, and even braided his mane and tail. Lila is wearing a princess dress, because she insisted, but with pants underneath it because Jenny refused to let her leave the house without them on.
