“I’m not done talking,” he chides softly, that languid smile now gone completely. “I don’t mean that you’re jealous of thewomen I sleep with, or as you so kindly call them, pieces of ass. I mean that you’re jealous of me.”
“And why the fuck would I be jealous of you?”
“Because you’re just a lonely girl in a barn with hay in her hair.”
Suddenly, the tug he gave to my braid a few moments ago makes sense. He was pulling out a stray piece of hay that must have gotten caught in it. Shame blooms in me, and I’m thankful for the dim lighting that hides my flaming cheeks.
I let out a brittle laugh. “There he is. You try to hide him under smiles and charm but you’re just as bad as I am.” And then I walk out of the bunkhouse, slamming the door behind me.
As I walk back to my house, across the field and past Jenny’s trailer and the empty paddocks, a small tear rolls down my cold cheeks. I hastily wipe it away and then do the same for the second. Eventually, there are too many to contain and I just let myself cry.
Nathan was right. Completely, and totally right. Iamjust a lonely girl in a barn with hay in my hair. I have no one to call family but Beau and a bunch of horses.
5
CANDICE
WatchingNathan clean a stall is satisfying, especially after the spat we had last night. He’s wearing what looks to be a brand-new pair of Wranglers, cowboy boots that haven’t seen enough mud yet, and I even caught a glimpse of a shiny belt buckle. Nathan might have grown up on a small ranch, but he’s clearly lost track of his roots. That, or he just gets enough free jeans and boots from sponsorships that he never has to wear the same pair twice.
“Admiring the view?” Jenny asks, coming to stand next to me in front of the barn office. Nathan is currently mucking Nico's stall, and he’s not doing a great job of it.
“What? No,” I say. “I’d never admire Nathan.”
“Sure, whatever,” Jenny says, rolling her eyes. “Just because you hate him doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate what’s right in front of you.” She rounds her hands and motions like she’s grabbing a pair of invisible ass cheeks.
“He’s all yours,” I say, knocking my hip into hers. If Jenny wants Nathan, then she should go after him. “Though I don’t know if he’s exactly relationship material.”
“That’s fine,” she says. “Not looking for a relationship. It’s too difficult with Lila, and I don’t want her to get attached to someone who isn’t sticking around. Besides, he’s not for me.”
I’m about to ask her why not, but then I see Nathan dump nearly an entire bag of wood shavings into Nico’s stall.
“One sec,” I tell Jenny.
“This is going to be good, I can just tell,” she says, and follows me for a few paces so she can listen in.
“Here to comment on my work, boss?” Nathan asks, standing up fully and leaning against the stall frame.
Not for the first time, I hate how tall he is. I’m 5’9, but Nathan still towers above me. He looks like something out of a damn boot ad, posed like this. When I muck, I look messy as all hell.
“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” I say. “You’re using too many shavings.”
“No, I’m not. Horses need clean bedding once a?—
“Nathan, I am perfectly aware of how often horses need clean bedding seeing as I manage a barn full of them. But Nico is pretty tidy and I added a bag a few days ago, so you probably don’t need to add that much more.”
“Well, I already did.”
I consider asking him to put the shavings back in the bag and sort through the ones he’s already cleaned out.
“Just sift through them more carefully next time.” I don’t add that shavings, like everything else a horse needs, are expensive, and that I have the amount we need for the next month calculated down to the last bag.
“Fine,” he says. “But you’re being too particular. You’ll never catch a man with that attitude, Candice.”
That blow lands squarely against my chest, probably harder than Nathan meant it to.
“Well, lucky for this lonely girl,” I say, emphasizing the last two words to remind Nathan of how much of a dick he was to me last night, “I’m not looking for a man.”
Nathan doesn’t even have the decency to look ashamed. He just stands there with his hands in his front pockets like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
