“He finished his community service. And he wants to go back to competing.”
“So? Neither of those things explain why he’s gone.”
“Get me another drink and maybe I’ll tell you.”
“You know, Nate was right. You really are a Viper sometimes,” Jenny grumbles. But she gets up and heads to the bar, waving Ronda down. When she returns with the drinks, I see that she’s also brought a couple of shots.
“I thought a little liquid courage might help.”
“I’ll pass,” I say.
Jenny shrugs and does one by herself, shooting it like a pro. And then she just sits there and stares at me. She doesn’t askme anything else, just stares, her eyes boring into my skull, demanding that I share with her.
“Ugh, fine. You win. “
“Yes!”
“Chill out. I don’t want this to be a whole thing,” I mutter. Then, I give her the cliff notes version of the conversation I had with Nathan, ending with the fact that he admitted he couldn’t give me the stability I so badly crave. “So there you have it. That’s it. It just wasn’t the right timing, I guess. Or the right person. But I’m ready to move on, and move forward, and take what I learned with Nathan and?—”
“Are you for fucking real right now, Candice?” Jenny asks, her eyes swirling with anger.
“Yes?”
“You seriously think you’re going to find someone else who can compare to what you and Nate had? You really think that’s possible? Because I don’t. I watched the two of you together and he made youhappy, something that’s been a rare thing these last two years. And you made him happy back, for what it’s worth. You fixed whatever was wrong with that broken cowboy and made him come alive. But you’re fine with just throwing that all away?”
I reel back, immediately livid at Jenny’s accusation. “Were you not listening to anything I just said? Nathan is going back to his old life. He’s not going to be around, and I’m not going to put effort into a relationship that is bound to fail.”
“So you’re scared!” Jenny points a finger at me, her face flushed. “Admit it. You’re scared!”
“Yes! Okay, yes. I am scared.” I hear my own voice cracking and I can’t hold back the tears. “Why shouldn’t I be scared, Jenny? I’ve lost so many people already and I can’t take it anymore. I’m so sick of grieving, and the thought of grieving a relationship with Nathan makes me feel hollow and worn out.”
Jenny reaches over and grabs my hand. “I know, sweetie. I know. It’s a lot. And we just lost Storm, so I’m sure you’re feeling worse because of that.”
I nod. “It reminds me of my grandparents. It’s not exactly the same, but every time we lose a horse, part of me feels like I’m back there, waiting at Grammy’s bedside, hoping she’ll pull through. I can’t put myself through that again, not right now. This way is easier.”
Jenny looks down at her beer and frowns.
“What?” I ask. “I can tell when you want to say something. Don’t hold your tongue now.”
“Prove it, then,” she says, crossing her arms.
“What?”
“If this way is easier, then prove it. If you really were using Nate for practice, so that you could have the confidence to be with someone else, then go find a man to flirt with andproveto me that this is easier, and that this is really what you want.”
“Every man in here is gay,” I say.
“Not true. Will Tanner is here and he’s single and straight. Plus he brought his brother, who is straight as well, if a little stupid. Go flirt with one of them.”
“Fine.”
I agree, because Jenny’s challenge makes sense. If I really want to move on from Nathan then I need to put some of the practice I had with him to work. I get up from the table, taking my drink with me, and do my best to saunter and swing my hips as I walk over to where Will and his brother Garret are standing by the pool table.
“Hey you two,” I say, giving them a smile.
Will turns to look at me and smiles, and Garret gives me a blank look like he doesn’t even recognize me. Mind you, I went to school with both of them from the age of five.
“Hey Candice, how are you doing?” Will asks.
