Page 109 of Whispers and Wildfire
“So, you basically broke up because you shouldn’t have been together in the first place?”
“More or less.” I paused. I could leave it at that and not tell him the whole story, but something compelled me to keep talking. “He had some specific grievances with me, though.”
“Grievances? What do you mean?”
“One, in particular. I can’t have kids.”
The confession seemed to hang in the air for a long moment. I watched Luke’s face while he processed what I’d just said, ready for him to pull away. To realize what I was saying.
I was broken. He wasn’t going to want me.
Anger crossed his features like a storm cloud. “Are you telling me he left you because of that?”
“It wasn’t only that. Like I said, our relationship wasn’t exactly sunshine and roses. But that was definitely his last straw. He decided it was a deal breaker.”
He leaned forward, and when he spoke, his voice was a low growl. “That piece of shit. How fucking dare he?”
His reaction made a lump of emotion rise from deep inside, lodging in my throat, and tears threatened to gather in my eyes.
“It wasn’t the end of the world,” I said, trying very hard tohide behind a mask of flippancy. “Our relationship would have ended regardless.”
“Still. Melanie, that’s awful. He was wrong to do that to you.”
I swallowed hard. “I know.”
“Do you?”
It was hard to look him in the eyes, so I glanced away. “Of course. I don’t know why he was so obsessed with perpetuating his genes. It’s not like he would have made a good father. Or will make, since I’m sure his new girlfriend is long since knocked up by now. You know he wouldn’t even consider adoption?” I was talking too fast, and too much, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “I did all the research, and goodness knows he made plenty of money. As soon as I brought it up, he completely shut it down. Said I was giving up.”
Luke reached across the table and took my hand. But apparently, I wasn’t done.
“It’s like he thought I wasn’t trying hard enough to get pregnant. Like I was in control of my messed-up reproductive system. It wasn’t my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“I went through all the tests, and do you know how invasive it all is? Having a freaking fertility doctor up in your lady parts all the time? And his tests, of course they came out just perfect. All those sperm, just going to waste in my barren, broken body.”
Luke took my other hand. “Mel.”
I kept my eyes on the table. “What?”
“Look at me.”
Reluctantly, I lifted my gaze to meet his.
“It’s not your fault.” His voice was soft, but decisive. “And I’m glad it happened.”
I tried to snatch my hand away, but he held it. “Why?”
“Because if you’d had kids with him, you might not be here with me. And I know a date with your high school ex-boyfriend isn’t exactly a worthy consolation prize if you wanted to have kids and couldn’t. That’s not what I mean. I just mean that you weren’t meant to be with him.”
“And I’m meant to be with you?” I asked, my tone skeptical.
“Yeah, maybe. We’re here, aren’t we? Giving it a shot.”
“Luke, it’s our first date.”
“Not really. We’ve been on lots of dates.”
