Page 2 of His Forbidden Princess
My carefully constructed composure begins to crack. "Books and maps don't show me how our people live. They don't let me hear their concerns firsthand or?—"
"They also don't expose you to dangers you're not prepared for." He rises now, his height still imposing despite the gray creeping into his beard. "Have you forgotten how close we came to losing you seven years ago? If not for Vorex's quick thinking..."
"So I'm to remain a prisoner because one man once thought to harm me?" The words burst out before I can temper them.
Father's expression darkens. "You are not a prisoner, Lirien. You are a princess. There is a difference, though in your current mood you seem determined to ignore it."
"What difference? I cannot leave these walls without an armed escort. I cannot speak to anyone without their words being dissected for potential threats. I cannot even—" I stop myself before mentioning the marriage negotiations I know are underway. That battle is for another day.
"Enough." His palm slams against the desk, making me flinch. "You were born to privilege and responsibility. The sooner you accept both, the happier you will be."
"Happy?" The word tastes bitter. "Is that what you think I am? Happy to be dressed up like a doll and paraded before foreign dignitaries? Happy to have my life plotted out from birth to death without a single choice of my own?"
"Choices?" He laughs, but there's no humor in it. "You think the common folk you so romanticize have choices? The farmer's daughter who must marry to secure her family's land?The widow who takes in washing to feed her children? Do not confuse freedom with hardship, daughter."
"At least they know who they are." My voice drops to barely above a whisper. "At least they've felt the rain on their faces without guards holding umbrellas. At least they've chosen who to love."
Something in his expression shifts—a flash of pain, quickly masked. "This discussion is over. You will attend council as expected, and you will not bring up this foolishness again. Do I make myself clear?"
I should curtsy. I should agree. I should retreat gracefully and plot a more strategic approach. Instead, I feel hot tears pricking my eyes and turn away before he can see them.
"Crystal clear, Your Majesty."
The corridor blurs as I hurry back to my chambers, ignoring the concerned looks from servants and guards. Only when I reach my rooms do I allow myself to collapse into a chair, breathing hard, willing the tears not to fall.
I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror—cheeks flushed, eyes bright with unshed tears, hair coming loose from its pins. I look wild, untamed. I look like someone I don't recognize.
And suddenly, I know what I have to do.
If Father won't grant me permission to leave, I'll take it myself. Just for one night. One taste of freedom before I'm shackled forever to duty and expectation.
I cross to my wardrobe and push aside silks and velvets until I find what I'm looking for—simple clothes I bribed a kitchen maid to bring me months ago, thinking someday I might find the courage to use them. Plain brown trousers, a loose linen shirt, a hooded cloak. Clothes that would let me blend into a crowd, become invisible in a way I've never experienced.
My hands shake as I pull them out and lay them on my bed. This is madness. If I'm caught, the consequences would be severe. Father would never trust me again. Dain would be furious...
Dain. For a moment, I picture his face when he discovers I've slipped away—those intense blue eyes darkening with anger, perhaps even hurt. He takes his duty to protect me with deadly seriousness.
But isn't that part of the problem? Everyone sees me as something to protect, to preserve, to control. No one sees me as simply Lirien—a woman with desires and dreams of her own.
I stroke the rough fabric of the cloak, already imagining how it will feel against my skin. Tonight, after the palace sleeps, I'll find my way out through the passages I've memorized from old architectural plans in the library. Just a few hours of freedom, of anonymity. A few hours to breathe air not filtered through the expectations of a kingdom.
And who knows? Perhaps once I've had my taste of freedom, I'll return content to fulfill my duties. Perhaps I'll find the outside world less appealing than I've imagined.
But I doubt it.
I tuck the clothes back into hiding, a secret promise to myself. Tonight, Princess Lirien Vellara will disappear, and in her place, just a woman will walk the streets of the kingdom she is destined to rule.
For the first time all day, I smile.
The waiting is the hardest part.
two
. . .
Dain
My hands reston the pommel of my sword, still as death while my eyes track her movements down the corridor. Princess Lirien Vellara—my assignment, my duty, my obsession. Her emerald silk dress whispers against the marble floor as she glides past, chin high, spine straight, completely unaware that each swish of fabric is a lash against my skin. Fifteen years separate us in age. A gulf of status and propriety stretches between us like an ocean. Yet for seven years, I've stood in her shadow, dying by inches with each passing day.
