Page 148 of Off Season
She sighs. “Well then, congratulations. Your rejection of himhas officially knocked off Baby Shark and won the internet. How happy you must be,” she adds sarcastically.
I twist my lips. “Isn’t there an old adage that no publicity is bad publicity?”
She smacks her hand on the table. “Except this. This, Kamryn, is bad.Veryfucking bad. How can you be so calm? It could ruin your career.”
I lean back in my chair and place my arms on the armrests. “Maybe my endorsements will go away, but I’m a great softball player. I hit fucking homeruns for breakfast. I make defensive plays that no other shortstop in the world can make. That’s what people should focus on. This kind of meaningless, personal shit blows over. Remember when Kim Kardashian’s sex tape leaked? I’m sure at the time she thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to her. You know what happened? She got her own reality show, makeup line, clothing line, and now has a billion-dollar empire. Most people don’t even remember the sex tape, but that’s the only reason she became famous.”
Cheetah pinches his eyebrows together. “I don’t even remember who the sex tape was with.”
I nod. “Exactly. It was Ray J, Brandy’s brother.”
“Oh right.”
Reagan scoffs. “You two are crazy. I can’t believe we’re having a conversation about Kim Kardashian’s sex tape from nearly twenty years ago.”
I widen my mouth in shock. “Wow. Twenty years? Time flies when you marry and divorce three people all while chronicling it for multiple reality shows.”
Reagan practically pulls her hair as she groans in frustration. I’ve never seen her this worked up. Obviously I know the video went viral. More than viral. I needed an army of security just to leave my apartment this morning. But I’m hopeful the fickle public will have something else to watch in the near future.
Cheetah winks at me. “Maybe we should do a sex tape.”
I perk up with excitement. “Yes, let’s do that. We can put Kimand Ray J to shame with some of the shit we do. Maybe we can pop another waterbed. That will change the topic of conversation.”
Cheetah tries to stifle his smile while Reagan is rubbing her eye sockets, clearly done with both of us.
There’s a knock at the door, and she yells out, “Not now!”
The door opens slightly, and Reagan’s cousin, Jade, pokes the top half of her body inside. I met her once at Quincy’s house. Her boyfriend or husband, I’m not sure which he is, built Quincy’s mansion, and she struck up a friendship with Ripley. She refers to the boyfriend/husband as her baby daddy, which is why I don’t know whether or not they’re married.
Jade looks sexy as hell in her well-fitted hot pink pantsuit. I know she works here, but I have no idea what she does. She’s six feet tall with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a killer figure. She looks like a taller, younger Reagan. She’s probably in her mid-to-late-twenties. Jade is so my type. I can’t help but drink her in. Cheetah notices and simply smiles.
Jade says, “I’ve been thinking about this situation. I’ve come up with a plan that I think could work.”
Reagan leans back again in her oversized leather chair. With a defeated tone, she says, “I guess I’ll take anything right about now.”
Jade walks all the way through the door before closing it behind her. As she approaches us, I notice she’s holding a can of something. It can’t be what it looks like. I must be misreading the name of the drink.
She smiles when she notices me staring at it. “It’s Pussy Juice. It’s a natural energy drink that I like.” Her smile turns mischievous, and her eyes sparkle as she holds it out for me. “Would you like to taste my Pussy Juice, Kamryn?”
I’m sure she’s expecting a flustered response. Button-pushers like her usually do. I guess she doesn’t know me very well.
“I’m bisexual, Jade. And sexy blondes with big tits are exactly my type. So, if that’s an invitation, yes, I wouldloveto taste yourPussy Juice. Cruz likes to watch. He’ll be with me. I hope you don’t mind.”
I wink at Jade, and her face falls. I’m guessing she’s never had that response before.
Reagan starts laughing hysterically. “Oh. My. God. After all these years, someone has finally rendered Jade speechless. You’ve totally redeemed yourself, Kamryn.”
Jade sits down in one of the other chairs before scrunching her face. “Hmm. I’ll admit, I’ve never had that response. Back to the topic at hand though. I think I know how to make this work in our favor.”
Reagan leans forward. “I’m all ears.”
Jade briefly pauses as if choosing her words carefully. “Instead of fighting it, lean into it.”
I ask, “How so?”
She takes a slow, purposeful sip of her Pussy Juice before placing it on Reagan’s desk, much to Reagan’s clear disdain. “I called Francisco Lane this morning.”
Reagan pinches her eyebrows together. “The famous jeweler?”
