Page 112 of Off Season
We’re all going out to Screwballs tonight to celebrate Arizona and Layton. Even Vance and Daylen are coming. They prefer clubs to the more laid back Screwballs, but they’re making an exception for Layton and Arizona.
We eventually make our way to the bar. Everyone has arrived except for Daylen. He walks in last, and all the guys start catcalling him. His face falls. “Shit, I don’t play your stupid game. I don’t spend my nights jerking off on Google searching for random facts like you guys do.”
Layton smiles as he shakes his head. “You’re on our turf now. You’ve got to play by our rules. Give us something. There must be a few random facts floating around that giant head of yours.”
He scratches his messy blond hair as he sits down and takes up half the booth. Fucking hell, Daylen is a big man.
His face lights up like something has occurred to him. “What two things in the air get a woman pregnant?”
Like a nerd, I start thinking of specific scents and things along those lines.
After downing an entire beer in one gulp, Daylen smirks and answers, “Their legs.”
We all laugh. Typical Daylen joke. That’s not exactly a fun fact, but it’s Daylen, and no one seems to mind.
I wasn’t sure how Cheetah would act with me. We’re obviously casual, but we spent every second together for nearly two weeks. Anintensetwo weeks.
He grinned when he saw me and immediately sat next to mebefore softly kissing my lips and telling me how much he missed me.
The truth is that I’ve missed him too. It’s only been a few days, but I got very used to spending all my time with him. We start our dance lessons next week, so I know we’ll be together at least twice a week for that.
At some point, he leans over and whispers, “Want to come over and eat what my mom made.”
I gasp. “Mamá sent food? What did she make?”
“Me.”
I giggle. I should have known where that question was headed. “Sure. I’ve been dieting all week. You can be my cheat meat.”
His dimples make an appearance as he threads his fingers through mine. “Perfect.”
Our attention turns back to Arizona and Layton as the drinks arrive. Cheetah asks everyone to hold up their glasses. “Let’s toast Arizona and Layton.” He looks at Layton. “Not everyone can say they have a loyal, trustworthy, talented, smart, and handsome best friend. But you, Layton Lancaster…can say that about me.”
We all laugh as he smiles and continues, “Layton, they say you should never meet your heroes,but you met me roughly ten years ago.”
After the laughter again subsides, Cheetah pulls a note from his pocket. “There’s a special person who isn’t here today.” He must mean Quincy. “I have a note though.” He unfolds it. “Layton, thank you for the years of support and love. I’m sorry I can’t be there, but I’m thinking of you. With love, Crystal from the Viper Den.”
The guys all burst into hysterics. I suppose stripper jokes are always funny. I imagine there’s a good story or two there.
Cheetah’s eyes move between Layton and Arizona. “In all seriousness, I knew the second Layton met Arizona that he was a done deal. He was immediately besotted with the blonde beauty. So besotted that Trey and I had to delay a few games becauseLayton would sport wood in the middle of an inning after looking at Arizona eating a hot dog.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Admittedly, it was hot. I may have had a little wood too.”
Arizona appears confused, but I see Layton and Trey hiding their smiles. I think that may have happened.
“Some might say your union is quick, but when you told me months ago that you bought a ring, I wasn’t surprised. She’s clearly your other half.Definitelythe better half, but you two couldn’t possibly be more perfect together. I’m not a married man, but in doingextensiveresearch on the topic,” he mumbles, “in the cab on the way here,” he winks, “I’ve found that there are two things you should be mindful of as you begin your journey. One: if at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you. Two: never stop laughing. Arizona, I know Layton makes lame jokes, but always laugh together, not apart.” He holds up his beer. “Cheers to the happy couple.”
We all clink our glasses, but I feel like someone should speak on behalf of Arizona. While I know Ripley is her best friend, she’s not here tonight, so I’ll step up. I re-raise my mug. “I’d like to say a few short words. Arizona and Layton, please look at each other in the eyes.” They do, with dreamy looks on their faces. “Know that the person you’re staring at right now is the person who is statistically most likely to be your murderer.”
They smile into each other’s lips as they meet for a sweet kiss.
“We all know that Arizona had a poster of Layton on her ceiling as a kid. Wow, how incredibly special and romantic is it to end up marrying the man who you undoubtedly surfed the slit to countless times as a horny teen?”
Arizona giggles and mumbles, “Truth.”
“Layton, you’re a lucky man. Arizona is one of a kind, and you two have a seamless love. Just remember, love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit. The good thing about you two is that nothing is forced at all. You’re as natural as Arizona’s blonde hair. Don’t worry, I’ve seen her naked countless times. I promise the curtains match the drapes.”
Everyone laughs. Cheetah whispers, “Fuck, that’s so hot.”
I elbow him and mouth back, “Pervert.”
