"We usually mark them too, it's a bit of a territorial thing, but they don't really need to mark us back. A werewolf will be faithful to the mate he or she has marked anyway."
I slowly nod. I do remember seeing those distinct bite markings on some werewolves we've met... Not that I was staring at those areas in particular, but it's a rather visible spot, not really hidden or anything. Especially for men, as I guess female werewolves have theirs covered by their long hair. I didn't think it had such a deep meaning until now, though. I unconsciously touch my own neck, caressing the naked area of my nape. I wonder why they picked such an area to bite their partners. I still think it ought to be rather painful...
"So... what about this fated mate's thing?"
Liam clenches his fingers a bit more, almost breaking the bamboo stick between his fingers. The younger Black brother looks a bit tense, and even more unable to look my way. Once again, my heartbeat accelerates, making me worry about what he has to say about this.
"It's something a bit more... instinctive. Since we are young, we are told that the Moon Goddess has chosen someone for us, our fated person who is supposed to be our perfect mate. Our fated mate."
For a second, I feel the strange need to laugh nervously, but all I can do is grimace. ...Is there really such a thing? I mean, the mating thing is already a bit alien to me, but this is on a different level. Liam sighs.
"It's real," he says, as if he was reading my mind. "We have some sort of... special instinct that allows us to feel who our fated mate is."
"Like a radar?" I ask, confused.
He chuckles nervously and shakes his head.
"No, it's... it's something a bit deeper than that. It's like some... bundle of feelings that come all at once and grips you from the inside. You just know, when you see them, that this person is for you. It's a higher form of attraction, a pull you can't resist. It's... It gives you everything you imagined and worse. Sparks every time you touch that person, crazy feelings about wanting to be with them, yet wanting to run away."
...Now that sounds familiar. A bit too familiar, actually...
"It... sounds like you have felt that..." I mutter with a blank voice.
My head is ringing like crazy, and my heart even more.
Why does everything he's talking about perfectly reflect what I've been feeling for him all this time? I don't get it. I'm not imagining this, am I? It's not just my own expectation? The spark, the push and pull, that desire to see him again... I don't think I would have explained it differently, but hearing it from Liam's mouth is worse. I'm going nuts and in an absolute panic right now from the way he described it. Should I tell him? And would he believe me anyway? I can't even breathe normally, I feel like crying and screaming. I'm not a werewolf, so just... how? And why? Why the hell would I feel that fated bond thing?
I see him slowly nod. I'm glad he's avoiding my eyes right now because I can't contain my emotions and I'm probably not hiding them well either.
"I... I've been feeling that way for a little while now," he admits.
Oh, gosh, Moon Goddess or whatever, this is it. If she is the one deciding this thing, it has to be reciprocated, right? I suddenly stand up and back away, a bit at a loss.
"Mara?" he calls me, surprised.
I shake my head, and cross my arms around me, careful of my injury as if to protect myself. I shake my head as if everything was normal, as if I just needed to take a walk. The window. I need some fresh air. I walk over to see what part I can open, even if it lets some rain in. I need to breathe or I'll just suffocate and break down right here. I hear him come behind me, but I don't turn around. I can't face him yet.
"How... how can you be sure?" I ask, almost gasping for air.
"I... I just know, Mara, it's not really something you can ignore. To be honest, I... I already knew what it’s supposed to feel like. Both of my older brothers experienced it already, so they told me about it."
"With their wives?"
"Well, yes and no... Nora was Damian's fated mate. It was a bit different for Selena and Nate."
I nod, but I don't need the details right now. I guess it's not exactly always a highway to getting with your perfect person or something. It just can't be that simple. Yet, here I am, walking in circles, alone in a room with a guy who could be my... fated mate. Gosh, even to me it sounds absolutely crazy. I'm not a werewolf, it doesn't work that way. Even Ravena said it. I can't decide to go back to the table or look at him, so I just take deep breaths in front of the window.
"Mara, are you alright?"
"What if you don't want it?" I ask. "What if... you're paired with some bitch, someone you hate, or someone you can't date? I don't know, someone super old, or... someone you can't love."
"...A fated bond can be rejected."
So that's it. He can just... reject this, refuse it? Ignore those feelings, throw them away like some dirtbag? If so, why... why wouldn't he have done that already? I'm in a state of panic and confusion I can't describe. Fear crawls into my mind like another shadow I don’t need. What if Liam rejects me? Or what if he's just been testing me all along, waiting to see if he should throw me away or not?
If he's feeling like I do, why didn't he tell me earlier? He could have said something, but instead, he kept pushing me away, avoiding me. And now, does that mean he only cares because of that stupid bond thing? Is he chained by it, unable to deny this? Maybe he doesn't feel it, I'm the one making a scene for nothing and getting all worked up. I keep thinking of so many scenarios, and the more I do, the more frightened I am. I feel like something is crumbling inside, someone is... whimpering. I try to ignore that sound in my head, like some wounded animal, but it just echoes my heart perfectly.
I don't feel well. I'm a bit dizzy, and I need to do something about it. I take one last deep breath, and I turn to him.
