Hearing their voices behind me, I step into the darkness. This time, the winds won't stop me. I light up my fire, holding it around me like a halo. I ground my feet in the ice and keep going, despite the darkness blowing on me. I feel it, this horrible mix of anger, pain, frustration. All those dark feelings keep whooshing in my ears, on my body, so violently it starts to dig little cuts into my skin. I can't even tell if it's hers or mine. It's just pain, echoing mine over and over, and I ought to fight through it.
Right now, I don't fucking care about the physical pain. I feel it, ripping my flesh and slowly pressuring every inch of my body, but I don't give a flying fuck. This hurricane can break me, she can crush me with this. She can break all of my bones and cut all of my skin open, it will never hurt as much as the pain bleeding from my bond to my mate... I feel it. Even when I can't see him, I feel Liam, his pain, and our bond getting thinner and weaker every second. I don't have time.
I force my entry in, I keep going like a madwoman. Like a mad, angry witch. She can't scare me, this darkness doesn't scare me. If anything... this just fuels my dark emotions, and makes me even stronger.
"You don't know it," her voice says, echoing around me. "You don't know the pain yet, and that darkness. How it fills you up, eats you up until there's nothing left!"
I scoff. Really? She thinks she can intimidate me with this?
"You're so wrong. I'm not scared of your darkness. I was... born from the darkness. I am a Dark Witch, even more than you are; I already went through it all."
That's right. I experienced it all, through Clarissa. Her pain, her screams, so many emotions she shouldn't have gone through. I lived all of it, through her memories, her journal, and this body. She suffered a hundred times and tried to fight. She fought depression, loneliness, and the anger from the injustice of being born with a broken body.
"You think you're the only one who lost someone?" I growl, pissed. "You think you're the only woman who’s ever suffered, who became jealous and bitter? Wake the fuck up! Everyone's got some darkness in them!"
"Oh, you think you can give me lessons on pain? You think you're better than me, perhaps? But... what happens when you actually lose your mate, Mara Jones?"
No, I can't let that happen!
I light up my fire, searching inside to find the strength, and throw some fireballs around. They disappear into the darkness, hitting nothing, apparently. Damn it...
"Oh, I feel your anger..." she whispers. "Of course, we are angry. We are sad and helpless. You're going to suffer through it too... and then, you'll know what this darkness truly is about."
I can already feel it.
The fear that crawls into my mind as I'm running out of options, and Liam is running out of time. That heavy weight in my heart, pulling me down to the point I want to fall on my knees and cry, break before it crushes me. That invisible hand that's choking me up, suppressing the words and thoughts until there's nothing left but the chaos, a bastard mix of fear and anguish. I want to cry, scream, howl. I don't want to feel this, I don't want to carry this burden, to even think that Liam might really... be gone.
I need him. I need my mate, I need his warmth, his gentle smiles, and the way he completes me perfectly. His blue-gray eyes that carry a million words, and the way his hands touch me. I love the way we are together, one and the same, he and I, and how we're different yet perfect as one. How many people get to find their perfect match? The right person for them, the one you know will hold on even if things get damaged a little, even if... you're the one that's been damaged already. Liam is my rock, the one who will hold on, be there, and support me when I need him. He's the one who makes me feel like... there's nothing we can't accomplish together. We could run to the moon and back together, and laugh like fucking teenagers getting high on our own kind of crazy.
But... Liam is going.
He's going to a place where I can't reach, where I can't follow. Somewhere I can't feel him anymore... Instead of our bond, a void is growing, huge, deep, and horrifying. That monster is sucking me in, filling my mind with despair, and that pain as if I'll never recover from it. Just... It's empty. It's fucking empty, where I felt him. I can't feel his wolf, I can't feel him. There's nothing left of him.
"Liam..." I cry, out of breath.
I close my eyes, forgetting everything else, and I try to search for him. I try to hold on to that faint, derisory hope that I'll find his light, somewhere inside, just if I look deep enough.
But there isn't one. I gasp, unable to stand anymore. He's... gone. No, no, no. I must be wrong, somehow. This must be an illusion, or I must be dreaming. I can't...
“Nora...?” I call out, my throat so tight I wouldn't be able to say this out loud.
“M-Mara... I... I'm so... so sorry, Mara... I…”
I feel it fall deep, deep inside.
It... hurts. Moon Goddess, it hurts so much. I feel the tears coming, but there's nothing worse than that huge pain in my chest. It grips me inside, it... wrecks everything. Sadness flows in, pours in, making me strangely... numb. I need to remind myself to breathe. I try to breathe, but, fuck, it... it hurts. So, so much.... I keep sobbing, my throat, head, and heart in pain. I can't hold it in. I cry like a child, like nothing else matters. I hear my loud crying resonate, my erratic breathing, the broken gasps, and my own wailing.
"See... You and I are the same..."
I wipe the tears from my face, even if more come running down it. I look around–no, I glare around.
"The same?" I repeat, so much anger built up in my voice. "...You think we're the same?"
"The loss of our mate is something only another can understand–"
"YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!" I shout furiously. "Don't you fucking compare my pain to yours!"
"You're the same as I was," she whispers, almost gently. "This pain–"
