I wonder if she is as lonely as I am... I wanted to just look from afar, but I hear her wailing and I see her tears. She is as sad as me... Wolves howl like wind, and humans cry like rivers when they are sad. I've howled a lot, and she has cried a lot. We are the same, that woman and I... I go a bit closer, to see if her pain is the same as mine, and it is. She has lost her mate too, she has lost her love like I did. We loved the same, and we feel the same sadness now...
I go up to her door, because we are both lonely.
She is scared and angry, at first. She cries and she yells at me, but I’m not scared of that female. I know she was different from the human hunters, from the males. So, I lie down in front of her, and I wait. She talks a lot, human words I cannot understand. I can only understand her sadness and her pain. So, I can only lie here and wait. I have no pups to return to this time, and my mate is gone. Where else would I go...?
She opens and closes the door to her lair several times, speaking to me as if she hopes I'd understand. After a while, though, she calms down. I step forward, and she lets me into her lair, so I go and lie down in the warmest spot, wondering if my mate had once done so.
"...Why are you here?" she says. "You're his mate... Why would you come to me, after what I did? I thought you had come to kill me. ...Aren't you mad? You should be hating me, so why are you... here…?"
I wonder what that human is talking about. I hope she understands. We are both lonely females who once loved the same wolf... Ah... I miss you so much, my dear mate. You and I were fated, weren’t we? I hope I can dream of you again tonight. I want to dream about our races in the snow, back when we were young pups in one pack.
I try to sleep, but I am not used to this lair. The woman stops talking, but she gives me some nice food... It must be good if she agrees to share with me. I didn't even hunt for it. Was she the one who provided food to my mate to feed our babies, all this time? I thought we were lucky he was such a good hunter, even in the coldest winters, or when the humans were out hunting too... I hear her sob again, but I just eat and go back to my sleep. She's a peculiar human... Her house smells like the forest, and so does she. The trees come to her when she moves her hand, and they bloom when she wants. I do not understand everything, but she doesn't try to harm me, so I stay here and ignore what she's doing. It's her lair, after all. I only want to get some sleep, and perhaps, tomorrow we shall hunt together.
After a while, I feel her watching me again. I keep my eyes closed, but I can feel her stare on me. I hear her sob again. How do humans cry so much…? Don't they need that water?
"You're really a strange one... Are you lonely too, now?" she whispers. "I don't deserve another companion... or are wolves such pure creatures that you've already forgiven me for what I did? I don't understand you, wolf..."
That woman is really strange. She's lonelier than I am... I know she didn't have a pack before, but I don't understand how she really doesn't see any humans at all. She seems like a young and strong female. Do human males have no need for her? She is able to feed herself too, although I don't see her hunt. I leave to hunt for myself, but I never see her get any meat for herself, and she doesn't try to take mine.
I know she doesn't trust me. She never shows me her back, and she always looks out for where I am in her lair. She talks a lot too, but I've gotten used to it by now. ...Did she turn my mate into a man so he could understand her? Unless we are old, wolves are not meant to be alone for long. So are humans, I suppose... Yet, this female is always alone. No human ever visits her, which I cannot really understand. Was my mate her only companion? Why doesn't she look for a pack at all? Or does she like her territory too much, perhaps? How peculiar...
Perhaps because I am no longer a young wolf, those quiet days by her side, trying to understand this strange human, are going by faster than I realize. Winter comes back already, the first dashes of snow taking me by surprise. The woman is still wary of me, but she's grown accustomed to my presence. She even shares her food with me, a strange thing as she knows I'm capable of hunting for my own. I think she is trying in her own way to befriend me, but I still can't make up my mind about her. Curiosity about the one my mate seemed so fond of led me here, but after all this time, I still cannot understand. He was the best Alpha of our pack, and yet, he was so strangely drawn to her. What trick did she use to have him stay so long by her side every day? Does she know where he has gone off to?
I still look for him sometimes... I hope he will come back, although there's no sign of him. No trace, no scent, nothing. It breaks my heart over and over that I can't even find a trace of him. Did he become a coat on a human's strange skin like so many other wolves? The humans have been targeting more and more of us.
I follow that woman when she leaves her house each time, with the hope she will guide me to my mate. I know I should have abandoned it by now, but... I don't see what else to do. I long for the sight of his black fur, for his warmth and his beautiful eyes, his strong teeth, his superb figure. He was so strong and fierce... Oh, I miss him so much.
Each time, the woman stops in front of a strange little stone that makes me feel... odd. I do not understand the way of humans. Why does she need to cry over a stone? She talks a lot too, each time we're there, but she goes silent when we go back to her warm and large lair. I wish I could understand what she says... She's begun talking more and more to me now, with a lot less crying. Her eyes don't seem so fearful or defiant when she looks at me now; we are not enemies, and I don't have a reason to attack her. She hasn't harmed me, she just acts like a lone wolf. I just don't want her to touch me. I am no dog, I shall not let a human pet me. I only growled once, as a warning, when I felt her hands on my fur, and she's kept off of it since. At least she understands the wolves, it seems, better than I understand her human ways...
"...What is it you want, by staying here?"
There she goes again... It's late, and I just want to fall asleep by this nice, warm, burning fire she set up. That woman gets a lot more chatty once the sun sets, for some reason. During the day, she just does thing after thing, merely saying a few words once in a while, and I go hunting, but when I come back and I just want to enjoy my meal by the fire, she starts. Again.
"I do not understand you, wolf... You don't seem to hate me or fear me. What is it you're here for? ...Don't you hold any resentment, after what I did to you and your mate? To your children..."
Sigh. I know she'll just stop after a while and go to bed once she starts crying a little...
Not today, though. What is she doing? She stands up so quickly, it takes me by surprise, and she starts doing things, moving her stuff around and making a lot of that strangeness that characterizes her. Things appear in the air, and I don't like this. Birds don't come out of nowhere, but this woman has things appearing all over her house! Plus, there's all this strange noise too, a rumbling as if dozens of sneaky moles were running under us! What is it...
"...You're doing?"
Wha-...?
I look down, and there are... human legs underneath me. Did a human appear out of nowhere? I try to step back, but I fall down instead! What is going on? I can't... control my body properly!
"What is... human..."
"Calm down."
I look up at that woman staring down at me. Did I just... understand what she said? Not just that, I... actually understand her words.
"What is this? That?"
Is that me talking like a human? What a strange thing! I feel my throat and mouth so different, and every part of my body too, it... doesn't move like it used to.
"You... turned me human?"
I can't believe I am talking like a human, and... with the body of a human! Oh, why are they furless if they are so cold and their skin so strange?! I feel like a dead fish! I keep moving around, trying to find some sort of balance, falling, and falling again. This is so annoying! I put my paws... hands down, and look up at that woman.
