"Not my style, but hey, a woman's a woman..."
"Is that okay, though? The other one said..."
"She said we can do whatever as long as she stays alive. It means what it means, right?"
Just then, Clarissa suddenly reopens her eyes, and with some weird movement, manages to free herself from his grip. Was that a self-defense move? She rolls away from him, and crawls back inside the circle, glaring at them.
"Hey, come back here!"
"You damn witch, do you think we..."
Before they can add a word, Clarissa starts chanting her spell. She's so loud, I can't hear what those men are saying anymore. A burst of flames suddenly appears from her circle, frightening them. They step back, but it's already too late. Clarissa keeps going, despite her unfinished circle. This can't be good, a magic circle can't work when it's not complete... The fire grows, clearly getting more dangerous, but Clarissa doesn't move.
Moon Goddess, I can't fathom the pain she's in. I don't want to stay here. It hurts! It burns! I feel the tears running down my face with that fire burning me.
"I'll be... reborn," she whispers. "We will be reborn, together, stronger... stronger..."
"Okay, Mara, that's enough!"
I'm suddenly pulled back, Clarissa and the fire are gone. Out of breath, sweaty, and still shivering from all those emotions, it takes me a minute to calm down and sit. What the hell...
Facing me, little Mara looks upset too, her arms wrapped around her legs with a sorry expression.
"It was very scary," she whispers, still looking afraid herself.
I nod, but I can't say a word. Moon Goddess... I can't believe Clarissa inflicted such a horrible death on herself. I know she didn't have much of a choice, but... that's just a horrible way to die. I look down at the old burns on my body. How much did she suffer until it was all over? What kind of nightmare did Clarissa have to go through for me to be here in her body?
It's so... horrible and infuriating that she had to undergo all this. How could she be so confident that it would work? Or was she just putting on a front to make little Mara not too scared? At a time like this...
I take a deep breath.
That's how I came to be. I'm not Clarissa Garnett. I'm not Mara Blue. I'm not even that wolf. I'm all three of them at the same time, a soul created by magic, the fusion of three fragmented souls. Stuck together imperfectly, but slowly adjusting. Clarissa knew her body would survive if only she got rid of the black magic that was tainting it, her disease. She sacrificed her memories in the process, and her being. I'm a bit of her too, the part of her that survived this. She wanted to merge with Mara, with her wolf. She wanted them to be reborn as one. ...I don't have amnesia, I don't have a memory to recover at all.
I chuckle at that realization.
I'm not even sad about it. Actually, I'm... grateful. I came to be because of their sacrifice. Clarissa's family is my family. Mara's magic is my magic. That wolf is... my wolf. Although it wasn't perfect and Clarissa couldn't do a perfect spell in the end, she still succeeded. She just left me more work and less clues than she thought.
"No, no, Benny, wait! No, really, stop!"
...Benny? I turn around, glancing at the window in the bathroom of our flat. I frown. What's going on there? Kelsi and Ben just walked in, and he's all over her while she's locking the door behind them with a frown. Moon Goddess, I'm suddenly so happy to see those two, even though they can't see or hear me... although I did not expect them to be kissing and flirting with each other. Seriously? I was gone for what, a few hours? How the hell did they progress this fast? Ben keeps trying to kiss Kelsi, but she slaps his arms with her strength akin to that of a kitten.
"Why?" he asks, still trying to kiss her neck and cheeks, trying to get her attention. "Isn't this why you wanted us to have privacy?"
"No! No, stop, stop, bad wolf!" she keeps repeating, slapping his shoulders. "Ben, focus! Didn't you feel something was wrong there?"
He frowns and shrugs.
"I... Uh, no... I mean... Mara was in a bad mood, but–"
"A bad mood? She was totally bizarre!" retorts Kelsi. "Something's odd, I can feel it. First, she barely talked to us, she glared at you, and she looked at me as if I was a flea! Second, she went and locked herself in her room right away."
"Maybe she had a spat with Liam…?"
"A spat? Mara is the type who'd fire his ass if he annoyed her, not the type to go cry in her bedroom!"
Oh, thanks, Kelsi.
"O-okay, but... what do you mean, it feels wrong…?"
