Page 42 of Nothing to Deny
“I saw Chapman.”
“Please don’t tell me—”
“It’s not him.” The contortion of disgust on Roxie’s face eased, yet it lingered, still sickened by the thought. She almost laughed. “What if I said Chapman was my forbidden man?”
“I’d rush you to the hospital. Get you checked out for disease and insanity. Why did you see Chapman? You should stay away from him. What’s he got to do with your forbidden man?”
“It doesn’t matter. Except to say they met, laid eyes on each other.”
“You’re telling me your sleazy ex knows your forbidden man better than I do? I’m insulted. You’ve got to give me something, honey. You came here to talk about it. About him.”
No refuting that. “Chapman’s a detective. And my forbidden man he…” She wasn’t worried Roxie would judge her or Baer. Roxie was all accepting. It was just… Telling Roxie would make it real, and if it was real, she wouldn’t be able to kid herself that this wasn’t a big deal. “He may, in what he does, wander over the line.”
Roxie frowned. “Over the line? What line?” Her friend gasped. “The line! You mean he’s a felon? Wow, you go all out, sister.” Glee wrapped itself around the blonde. “So I wasn’t far wrong with the body in your apartment thing.”
“No! He’s not that kind of—he’s a good guy. Supporting his family. It’s not like—he’s a good guy.”
“So what’s the problem? He’s a good guy, and you want him, go for it. His past is his past. You can’t use it as an excuse to put up walls. Believe me, I’ve been there, done that. It doesn’t work. The heart wants what it wants.”
How many times had she heard Roxie and Zairn’s tale? She never tired of it. If there was one thing Roxie knew, it was love. Seconds of seeing her with Zairn proved that. Love? That was too far for her and Baer. Wasn’t it? Only… Her evening with his family had given her a glimpse of a future she wouldn’t be sorry to know.
“There are other… women involved.”
“How involved? He’s married? Are they separated? It’s the way things ended with Chapman. You don’t trust yourself; you’re gun-shy on the whole relationship front. We’ve all been there. Trust yourself, honey, and it’s okay to trust him. At leasthe’s told you about the wife, that’s one better than the lying creep Chapman. Maybe this time—”
“He sleeps with other women… for… His family have a lot of financial commitments, so he works with an agency that—”
“He’s a hooker?” Okay, so it was nice she wasn’t the only one to instantly go there. A barb of primitive offense was totally irrational. Now knowing Baer, she really hated that word. “An escort?” On a wince, Freya nodded. “Oh, honey…” Throwing open her arms, Roxie pulled her into a tight embrace. “Does he know? Who you are? About your money?”
He did know. Since their Cloud date. Did it matter? Oh, it always mattered eventually.
“Yes. We haven’t talked about it.” Or what it might mean for them. Not in depth. “I haven’t known him for—we met and it was… I’m insane, aren’t I?”
“No!” Roxie settled back, still holding her hands. “You are not. Who cares if that’s what he does?” The sheer acceptance on Roxie’s face was so at ease there wasn’t a chance of it being false. “And, baby, bet that guy will know some tricks. I thought my guy was talented, but he’s never been paid for it. Your guy gets an extra gold star.”
“Rox…”
“Okay, joking aside, if you love each other, you can help his family, they will be your family too. Wait, does he enjoy it? Is that the problem? He’s saying he wants to keep sleeping with other women if you get together? Because that is a red flag. A great, big red flag. He tries that shit, send him to me. If he’s yours, he’s yours. No one else’s. That’s a hard limit, you tell him.”
“We’re not there yet. I don’t know how he feels or… It’s such a treacherous path. I can’t stop thinking about him, I’m obsessing, it’s sad and—”
“Delightful! You’re freaking yourself out. If you came here for permission to walk away from Mr. So-Good-He’s-Paid-For-Sex, you won’t get it. I’ll always fall on the side of love… Okay, maybe not always, in the right circumstances and—let’s say I’ll always fall on the side of true love, now. I always fall on that side now, I didn’t always. I have to add that caveat or I swear Zairn will let me have it later.”
Glancing around, she didn’t see Roxie’s other half. “Isn’t he working?”
“Yeah, but, you know, I cover my ass. And who knows what Dyce tech he has secreted away in—never mind. Here it is: if you like this guy, go for it, embrace it.”
“I don’t know how he feels about—”
“I don’t believe for a second any guy wouldn’t fall head over heels for you.”
Her friend’s support was appreciated, but she wasn’t addressing the ridiculous part. “What kind of an idiot falls for a man in that line of work?”
“You said he had valid reasons for doing it.”
“He does, that’s not—it’s his job to make women feel good. Like you said, people pay him for services. He’s so good he has regulars that keep coming back for more. What if I’m… I keep coming back for more too.”
Though, so far, she hadn’t paid him for anything.
