Page 103 of Nothing to Deny
“And Nickson? What are his reasons for doing it?”
“He doesn’t do it anymore,” Kelly told her sister. “That part of his life is over.” She inhaled, paused, then released the breath. “I can’t judge him for what he did in the past. We all have histories, he got in trouble, had some debts and that’s all gone now.”
Better gone than still ongoing through their marriage. Still, the timing of that would be massively coincidental. He just happened to pay off all his debts and give up Squires in the same time bracket he met and fell for Kelly?
“All gone?” Holly asked. “Are you sure?”
“He says so.”
“Yeah, but he also said he wasn’t an escort so…”
“He didn’t say that,” Kelly leaped on the defensive. “I didn’t ask that question and he never lied. He was ashamed, embarrassed. Think about it, if it was the other way around and I’d sold myself to cover debt, we’d crucify him for judging and dumping me.”
Yes, maybe, though that sounded more like it came from Nickson’s mouth than from Kelly’s.
“All that matters is that you love him,” Freya said, taking Kelly’s hand. “If you love him, and you want to be with him, we’ll support you.”
She was speaking for Holly too, although the woman hadn’t told her that explicitly. What choice did they have? They’d wanted Nickson to be honest, for Kelly to know the truth, and now she did. They could all relax and enjoy their vacation; tensions would die down. This was family time and Nickson was Kelly’s choice. They had to give the guy a chance.
THIRTY-TWO
“NOT SURE WHAT I’ll do with myself now,” Holly said, gazing at the car door that had just closed.
Back in the city, they’d dropped Donaghue off at a hotel. Because he lived there? Because he had another client? She didn’t ask. Sometimes it was easy to forget Holly and Donaghue weren’t really a thing. For all his confidence, and sometimes overbearingness, she’d gotten used to his presence.
“Enjoy the peace,” Baer said. “I won’t miss living with that guy.”
“You only feel that way because you’ve never had sex with him,” Holly declared. “And I know that for a fact, because I asked him.”
“And you believed him?” Baer asked, sly enough to be playing with her.
Holly blanched. “He lied?”
Baer actually laughed. “Babe, there isn’t enough money in the whole damn universe.”
“I was just getting used to him,” Freya said. “It will be quiet without him around.”
“We should do it again,” Holly said, sort of excited. “Double date. Hang out. It would be fun. We could ask Kelly and Nickson too, make it a triple.”
Except that would mean paying Donoghue again. Just Donoghue? What would happen now they were back home? She and Baer had adhered to the rules, both his and hers. That meant no money talk. So what happened now? Did she wait for him to have a night off from Squires and hope he wanted to spend itwith her? Frustratingly, him putting up the barrier about money talk effectively boxed them in.
When would they talk about the future? The future… In her private daydreams, she imagined the future with him, and the twins, and Abel, and Truman, everyone getting along.
Except in the private picture, she and Baer lived together, they did get married, they did have kids. Was he being obstinate about the money as an excuse? Maybe he didn’t want those things. He raised the twins with Abel; it could be that he was done with surrogate fatherhood. Freedom had allure. Only one way to find out what was in his head: he had to tell her.
Except she couldn’t ask.
That meant talking about money, which was against the rules. He’d specified for their vacation; she hadn’t put an expiry date on her rules. Did that give her an in?
This was nuts. How long would they go on ignoring the obvious? Were they just wasting each other’s time? Kidding themselves this flirtation had a chance. God, she hated reducing it to a “flirtation,” even in her head.
She wanted that future. She was ready. Pushing could send him over the edge. Cornering him wouldn’t get her anywhere… So what? They’d just go on pretending they had a chance together, with the kissing, and the touching, and the… She was too old for that kind of naïveté. If she had to get over him, if there was no future, better to rip off the Band-Aid and get out now. He needed to be honest with her. Desire for clarity churned her guts and raised her heart rate enough that she almost demanded an answer there and then.
Thankfully, saving her the embarrassment of the outburst, the car stopped again. Holly leaned in to kiss her cheek and say goodbye as the door opened and the driver helped her out.
Baer’s kiss bounced against the side of her head. “Back in a minute.”
He jumped out the other side, both doors slammed, and she was alone.
