“It wasn’t your fault, Nora. Don’t cry...”
I can’t. Tears flow, and my heart tightens painfully. My family was destroyed from within, and I was the cause of it. I can’t forgive myself for being ignorant all these years. I was the little seed that implanted the madness in our mother’s mind. I can’t even blame my father! What happened to my birth mother? Why didn’t I grow up with her? If Dad had a lover, why did he stay with Alec’s mother all these years without saying a thing? Did my biological mother die, as Alec said? I have more questions than I can handle, and so much grief, I can barely breathe.
Damian is whispering softly against my ear, trying to calm me down. I’m shaking in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
“You’re okay, Nora. None of this is your fault. You didn’t know. You were too young. It’s okay, you’re okay...”
He keeps caressing my hair and murmuring comforting words, leaning kisses on my head or temple from time to time. Despite all this, being in Damian’s arms makes it all a little easier. He rubs my back, soothing me. After a while, I lean back a bit, still sitting on his lap but facing him. He brought us to what looks like an immaculate office, probably his. I look at him, still teary and probably looking really messy after all this crying.
“I... I can’t believe it. My dad, he...”
“He probably did this to protect you, Nora. I don’t know what happened to your birth mother, but he made sure to keep you with him, and he protected you until the end.”
“I’m the reason he died! And mother, too! She went insane because of me! Because I existed!”
Damian shakes his head and puts his hand on my cheek, caressing me gently with his thumb, keeping me close to him. “No, Nora. Your parents had issues. Your father should have told the truth, and your mother probably had troubles before you came. Nora, you are not to blame. You were a baby, you had no idea.”
“But Alec, he...”
“Your brother took his frustration out on you. He had no right to. Despite what happened, you were not responsible, Nora.”
I have a hard time believing it. No matter what Damian says, everything happened because of me, because I was born from my dad’s affair with another woman. How do I live with this? What do I do with it from now on? I never knew, but now...
Damian suddenly kisses me, taking me by surprise. His lips are gentle against mine yet passionate as usual. After a few seconds, I answer his kiss, carried by the movement. I don’t want to fight it. I need his comforting presence; I needhim. His warm hands on my skin, his fingers grabbing my hair. I love this feeling, this wave of heat coming from inside, like a low fire burning within. I grab some air and continue the kiss, my arms around his neck. Is this really okay? After all that happened, it seems crazy to be having a moment with him in this office. It’s just the two of us, and everything is quiet. Behind Damian, this fantastic view of the city that makes it look like I’m in Heaven with him...
His lips get more passionate against mine, and I don’t say no. Our breathing accelerates, and I feel hotter than before. I shiver, feeling his fingers on my skin. One of his hands is under my shirt, caressing my back and giving me delightful shivers. I gasp and hear him chuckle. Is he amused by my awkward reactions? I’m shy, I can’t help it!
I try to kiss him a bit forcefully to make up for it, and I can tell Damian is smiling against my lips. His fingers clench tighter in my hair, and his other hand holds me closer to him until I’m actually sitting astride him. Our kiss gets more intense, and I hear our breath intertwine, echoing loudly in my ear. Our lips part and Damian aims for my neck with ruthless kisses. I bite my lip and find myself leaning on the side to offer him more of me. What’s happening to me? I should be embarrassed, but my desire for more overtakes it all. My hands are on his back, caressing his neck and putting my fingers in his dark hair.
“Nora, Nora...”
His voice whispering my name is making me crazy. I seek his lips once again, and our kiss starts anew. His hands progress on my skin, caressing me gently. ...But suddenly, a cold shiver rises.
“...good girl, Nora. ...don’t you play hard to get now.”
I gasp and stop the kiss, panicked. Damian doesn’t notice and keeps kissing me. His hands keep going, and I shiver all the more, but not from pleasure this time. I’m scared.
“Stop, Damian, stop!” I almost scream. I struggle, getting off his arms, stumbling, panicked. He looks at me, shocked by my reaction. He tries to hold me back, still confused, but that only scares me more. I fight him off, and when he finally releases me, I almost fall on all fours on the side.
“Nora? Nora, what’s wrong?”
I get up and cross my arms in front of me, tearing up again. I can’t believe it. I’m scared. I’m afraid of Damian’s touch! He gets up and wants to come close, but I shake my head and retreat. Kissing was okay, but... He looks at me, confused. Oh gosh, I’m so, so sorry... I’m about to cry again. Damian stops and sighs.
“Nora, tell me what is it.”
His imperious tone, as usual. But I can’t even utter a word right now. I’m scared and horribly ashamed. How can I compare Marcus and Damian? Why now? I shiver and shake my head again, my arms around me like I’m shielding myself. He grabs his phone.
“Tonia, get here. Now.”
He sounds so angry. I wish I could hide somewhere. It’s my fault. This kiss was intense, perfect, and yet here I am, rejecting him like a crazy girl. As if I needed this now. I thought I needed Damian, so why do I find myself eluding him! I wish I could run back into his arms, ask for his warm kisses again, but I’m terrified. Those cold shivers won’t leave me, and I don’t think I can reject him twice.
He keeps glancing at me, silent. He must think I’m crazy, maybe he even regrets having such a troublesome mate! That’s not the end of my dark thoughts, but thank MoonGoddess Tonia finally enters, followed closely by Bobo and Neal, the later back in his human form.
“Everything okay?” She asks, worried, as soon as she enters. She comes to me, taking my face into her hands. She frowns almost immediately. “Nora, you’re burning! I knew you had a fever. Boss? We really need to take her home,” she tells Damian.
“Take her back.”
Damian is still staring at me, but he won’t show his emotions. Tonia, understanding there is something wrong between the two of us, puts an arm around my shoulder and pushes me toward the exit of the office. “Okay, baby girl. Let’s get you home now, you need some rest.”
