I put my fists up as she shows me and go at it again. This time, I’m trying to get angry, as she says. It’s easier than I thought. I just think of all I’ve endured these last few years, how wrong and unfair it was, all of it, and it’s coming to me. More strength, more anger, and I put it all into my fist before I punch.
“Good! Much better. Again, Nora, keep going.”
One after another, I start punching harder. This time, Tonia has to use her strength to block me. I’m getting the hang of it. Tonia keeps directing me, and I’m sweating, but it surprisingly feels incredible. All this anger I never knew I had in me, all of it comes out and hits one punch after another.
Suddenly, my wolf starts growling. She’s with me, getting all her anger out, too. She’s being fierce and stands firm. I’ve never felt her this way before! I smile, happy to feel her.
By the end of our little seance, I’m feeling great. I’m all sweaty and exhausted, but it is such a thrilling feeling! Tonia seems happy, too. She even showed me how to stand and block to defend myself against an opponent, wolf or human. After that, she had me train on a punchbag while she exercised on the treadmills.
“How do you feel?” She asks.
We are sitting on the living room’s sofa after a well-deserved shower, and we both changed to new clothes. Tonia is wearing jeans and an oversized jacket over a sports bra, while I picked up a wrap midi dress from my wardrobe.
“Much better, thank you, Tonia. And, I felt my wolf a lot.”
“Do you not hear her usually?”
“Not always. Just when I’m really scared, or sad, or when... when Damian is there.”
I blush a bit while saying this, but it’s the truth. Tonia laughs and shakes her head.
“Don’t be embarrassed about it, baby girl. Anyway, it’s great you connected with her better. I’m going to keep training you. I feel like you need it.”
“I think so, too. I never really expressed myself before. I was always keeping it all to me.”
“You know, that could be part of the reason you’ve never shape-shifted, Nora. Our wolves are like our real selves. They reflect what we want and what we feel deep down. If you’re used to staying silent, never saying what you think and ignoring what you feel, it’s no wonder you don’t feel connected to your wolf.”
Could it be? It’s not that I never felt close to my wolf before. But she always seemed so... weak. I could only feel her in emergency situations, like when I got a beating or when I was scared. But it never felt like she wanted to take over, though. As if she always thought it was... worthless.
“Tonia... Where’s Damian?”
I’ve meant to ask all morning. I’m sure I fell asleep in Damian’s arms last night. It’s as if I can still feel his touch, his smell on me, despite the shower and all. It just lingers on me like some warm shadow. And it makes me want more. But Tonia just shakes her head with an apologetic look.
“He’s... busy for now. I’m not sure where he is exactly, to be honest. He didn’t stay long last night. He put you to sleep, and he left right after that.”
Why is it like this? Am I the only one craving his presence? It seems like he won’t stay every time we see each other. I felt so safe and serene in his arms... I want to see him again. So why is it that he’s never here? He’ll provide me a VIProom in some hospital, now a fancy apartment, but he just comes and go. We remain strangers.
I might be wary of his background, of his dark history, but whether I like it or not, he is my mate. All my instincts push me into his arms. My wolf yearns for her counterpart. At the hospital, he visited me twice, and I was half-sleeping. Now, when I thought he had finally come back, he just lands me here and leaves again?
I just stay close to Bobo and spend the afternoon watching a movie with him snoring loudly beside me. Surprisingly, Tonia went out for a couple of hours, saying she had to run a few errands.
When she comes back, I’m in the study, with Bobo sleeping at my feet. She laughs from the doorstep, surprised I’m using the computer instead of reading some of the books.
“Well, someone has remembered she’s living in the twenty-first century! I’m even surprised you know how to use it!”
“I’m not that clueless!” I protest, a bit offended.
“If you say so, baby girl. Now, tell me, what are you doing? Getting more books? You couldn’t have finished reading the whole library in one afternoon.”
“Stop making fun of me. I’m just looking at job offers.”
“Wait... You are looking at what?”
Uh-oh. Judging from Tonia’s expression, this is not going to end well...
She crosses her arms, looking visibly pissed at me. What, are we also going to argue about this now? This is ridiculous!
“Are you trying to make my job difficult? Why do you have to work?”
