“You scared? You should be my toy! You...”
“I’m no one’s toy! Get the fuck away from me, you rapist!”
I suddenly hear him laugh, and a new kick bursts my stomach with pain. Moon Goddess... I don’t know how much longer I can take this.
“Rapist? After what you did to me? You whore! Assassin! S-slut! You almost kill... killed me!”
...Killed him? I try to remember it again. It’s so cloudy in my memories… Gosh, Nora, come on, remember… That night, in that apartment... Alec left me with him, and... He tried to touch me. A surge of fear invades me when I recall, but I have to fight this. I have Damian now. I’m fine, I’m fine. I can do this.
I remember the struggle. Marcus’ hideous breath on me, his greasy hands on my legs. Him trying to tear my dress away. I fought him, I screamed, even. I remember the echoof my own voice. At one point, I think I hit him hard enough for him to let go for a second. That’s right, I remember now. I pushed him with all I had and ran. I didn’t recall where the entrance was, but I went to... Was it a kitchen? I saw those... I saw knives on the counter.
I took one, I remember that feeling between my hands. My fingers clenching on it. It was a long and large kitchen knife, very sharp. When Marcus came at me, I didn’t have a second for hesitation. Just panic, guiding each of my movements.
My arms went forward until something blocked me. A weird sensation. A gasp and cold air running down my spine. I remember Marcus’ face, frozen in a shocked expression. A whimper of pain, something so miserable and ridiculous. I didn’t let go of the knife. I couldn’t. As if my fingers were a part of it. So, I stepped back, keeping it with me, in front of me to defend myself, the blade drenched in red.
He screamed. In pain, in terror. I was still scared and panicked. I thought I was going to die, all of me was trembling. I couldn’t see the injury, just his face. Like I was in a trance. He ran at me, and I raised my hands, trying to protect myself, forgetting what I was holding on to. I wanted to scream, but even my voice was muffled.
The blade went along his face, in a red, vivid, gross line.
I stabbed him, scarred him twice.
...Is it the reason he’s not approaching me now? I try to think again, hard. Marcus had no problem touching me before, but he only used his feet this time. Is he...? Wait. More memories come back again.
“Don’t you approach me! Don’t touch me!”
I screamed that. I screamed that with all my might... With my Alpha voice. I just remembered it, but for him, it was... An order.
That’s right. Marcus can’t touch me. Moreover, I’m an Alpha, and he’s nothing but a renegade now. His wolf has to obey me. He can’t control me anymore.
“You little slut, you...”
“Shut up.”
“Don’t tell me to shut up!”
I don’t have my Alpha voice right now. Moon Goddess, what did he drug me with? Enough to keep my wolf unconscious! I have to hold on, to stay alive. Until I can wake her up, or they can find me, some way. I breathe in. Gosh, my head is spinning so hard... I can faint at any moment again, and I hate that.
Marcus keeps insulting me, but I don’t listen to him anymore. The worst he can do is kick me, and as long as I don’t anger him, he should stay away... Or so I hope.
Damian, Damian... Moon Goddess, please let him be fine. I hope he can make it, at least until I get back to him...
I’m fighting to stay awake. My head is so heavy... I can feel his presence, somewhere in the darkness of that room. He is mumbling something, reeking of alcohol. That monster. I try to keep my eyes open; I look for my wolf. What happened to her? Marcus must have drugged me again because I can’t feel her at all. How many hours have passed?
Besides my wolf, I’m scared because I can’t feel my bond with Damian anymore. Moon Goddess, I hope he is okay. I miss him so much already... Why did I ever think this could be only a wolf thing? I love him. I love him so much, so, so much...
The memories of our time together, in his bed, warm my heart. His arms around me, his fingers caressing my skin... The way he stares at me, with his silver eyes filled withtenderness. His firm kisses, the spiky beard he kept because I told him I liked it...
Moon Goddess, I miss him.
I need to find a way to get back to him. I open my eyes again, trying to find Marcus, but without my wolf, it’s too hard. That psychopath can go mad at any minute. He is staying away for now, but his kick earlier was not mere luck; he may try to go at it again and kill for good in the process. No way I’m letting him get close to me.
My wolf, I need my wolf...
I try to remember what Elena taught me. Tonia taught me how to fight, but Elena was the one to give me the clues to get closer to my inner wolf. She compared it to seeing myself in a mirror, reaching out for differences in my own reflection. My inner wolf is a reflection of myself, but getting to her is... No, she has to be there somewhere.
I need to reach her, in my... subconsciousness. I think I need to get unconscious again, that might help... Like some hypnosis. It might work.
It’s not too hard. I’ve been fighting this urge to sleep all along, but what I am worried most is... will I wake up again after that? I feel the pain in my stomach and the blood drying on my leg. I’m self-aware of my current state. Alec beat me before, but never this badly. I know this might be my last time closing my eyes, but... This is my only chance to find my wolf and reunite with Damian. I have to.
