Ve fixes me with a long look. He pulls me in for a big hug.
“Nah, you’re perfect! For me! I love you.”
Chapter 63
Abby
I’m so blissful after that birthday. We were inseparable again. But only up to a point… Around a month from Ve’s birthday, everything began to change.
It’s a beautiful sunny day. Saturday is going to be great. We decide to go to the lake. Just me, Ve, and some friends. His friends. I’m not entirely okay with that, as I’m having my period and going through it like usual—I’m aching all over and unstable. The boys wanted to throw me into the water, and I made a big scene.
“Oh, come on,” Ve scoffed. “You’ll cool down and feel better.”
“Right, and you’re supposed to know what it’s like? That only proves you know nothing about me. Besides, I’m not going in that dirty sludge. It’s only going to give me eczema. I always get it when I swim. All kinds of untested water cause me to develop infections in places I’d rather not talk about. Even swimming in a pool isn’t completely safe. And even a drop of water on my face causes a rash.”
Pity he didn’t care to ask before or remember when I told him. It was easier to put me down.
“Come on, everyone is swimming, and they’re okay! I’m going for a short swim anyway.”
Everyone. Why does he always have to compare me to others? I’m an individual. I can’t be made equal to anyone! I don’t get it. It’s not that hard to realize everyone is different. Everybody sees the world in their own way. We all have different pain thresholds and reactions. Besides, I’m one of the most emotional zodiac signs. Why is it like that? Why do we sometimes agree on everything without words, and at other times it’s as if we were born on completely different worlds?
His short swim lasted for about half an hour. Maybe I’m wallowing in self-pity too much, and maybe I expect too much. The fact that I’d do things one way doesn’t give me the right to assume everyone would do the same. But that’s not easy. When I’m on my period, I need a lot more care and attention. I can’t give it to myself. Yet. But maybe one day a time will come when I’ll learn to care for myself and won’t need anyone else to keep me happy. Maybe that’s the solution to my problems. Only… how do I do that?
“Are we going back?” I ask with hope in my voice, because I’m already hot as fuck.
“I thought we’d take the pedal boat and go out. Would you like that?”
He surprises me with this proposal. I’m angry. I really want to say I don’t feel like it. But maybe it’s actually a good idea.
When I agree, a smile appears on his face. He grabs my hand, helping me get up.
“Let’s go, then.”
By the time we manage to make it to the bike and climb on, I’m already a little weak. The sun really has no mercy today. But I don’t want to spoil the mood, so I pretend it’s okay. I drink a fair amount of water from the bottle. Ve starts pedaling, and after awhile, we are in the middle of the lake. The view is worth the effort.
“It’s beautiful here.”
“I thought you would appreciate it.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek, takes my hand, and puts it to his lips, leaving a damp mark on its back.
I love him. However much he upsets me, I love that boy.
On the lake the heat is no longer so noticeable. The wind cools my body pleasantly. Ve jumps into the water several times, each time splashing some on me.
After going home, I get myself in order. A refreshing bath makes my mood stable again. Interesting. I need such moments to return to inner peace. I discovered this some time ago—after all those emotional rollercoasters, moments like those on the balcony, it’s sleep or just taking a bath that makes me go back to balance. It’s difficult not to be able to control myself. Those mood swings that literally rip through my head these days. Everything becomes exaggerated to cosmic proportions, and I am completely unable to do anything about it. I can only cry, laugh, get angry and sad all at once.
I’ve been waiting for Connor for an hour and a half. Where on earth has he gone? He was only supposed to go home and then drop by my place. When the knock on the door finally comes, I’m irritated again.
“Hey, what took you so long?” I put on my shoes, and we go out for a walk.
“Uh, well, I went with Ted to the water to help them lay out the net.”
“I get that, but couldn’t you let me know? I was waiting here, completely in the dark.”
“I met them on my way home, and they offered me a ride. Listen, they’re going there for the night. Can I go with them?” Hecracks me up with that question. On the one hand, it’s cool that he asked, but on the other… I don’t like it.
“Why do you want to go with them? For the night? Who’s going to be there?”
“We always do that in the summer, you know? The guys will be there and I don’t know who else. I didn’t ask.”
